New Beginnings
by Victorious-FutureFictions
Summary: Series 2/2: Sequel to A Call to Remember: Future-Fiction: After the tragic incident Cat and her three children struggle to move on with their lives facing angst and abuse along the way. Meanwhile past altercations come to surface with Beck and Tori threatening the continuation of their relationship. (Also: Andre, Robbie, Trina)
1. Long Road to Recovery

**Hey guys, see I didn't leave you hanging for long did I?**

** Here's is the sequel for_ A Call to Remember_. If you are a new reader to this story please read my story_ A Call to Remember_ first, or you will be highly lost and confused.**

**So anyways, please enjoy! Love you guys and thanks for reading! ****Please review!**

** *Love you all* :)**

* * *

**New Beginnings**

Chapter 1

_Long Road to Recovery _

**[Isis's POV]**

"Where are you going?" Italy asked as she stood up from the porch swing with Ikenzie mimicking her move.

"Home. I got some stuff to get." I said nonchalantly as I continued my walk to my car.

"Can we go?"

"Ikenzie you have homework you still have yet to finish." I said as I turned around and crossed my arms.

She just shrugged. "I,I don't really w,wanna go anyways."

"Alright well tell Nana we'll be right back." I said as I turned around and continued to my car with Italy following behind. I unlocked my doors and hopped in, Italy mimicking my moves. "Don't touch my radio." I glared at Italy whose hand was already on its way to my music system as soon as she got in the car.

"Sorry." She threw her hands up and sat back and started to rub her small belly.

"What are you naming that baby anyways?" I asked as I rolled my window down slightly as pulled from the driveway.

"She's a _her_, not a _that _and Kemistry."

"Kemistry? That's a stupid name. That's not even a name."

She gasped. "Isis is a stupid name. You're named after ice."

"No I'm not, shut the hell up."

"So what's up with you and Monica these days?"

"Fuck her." I said as I put my arm out of the window and drove with one hand.

"You don't mean that. You know you still like her."

"No I don't."

"What happen?" She asked as she turned all the way to me.

"Just drop it. Fuck it, fuck her."

She sighed as she leaned over and kissed me on the cheek. "You guys will end up back together, watch."

"Yeah, in your dreams."

She laughed. "It would be kind of creepy to dream about you and Monica. Plus I'm not really on the gay bandwagon."

"It's not a bandwagon!" I yelled at her before running my fingers through my hair. "Just drop it all."

She giggled as she sat back and put her hands back to her belly.

_I wonder how it feels to have a baby in your stomach…?_

"What the hell?" I said as we approached our house.

"What?" Italy said as she looked up from her stomach. "Oh my god, what's going on?"

In front of our house were two ambulances and three police cars and a car unknown. My heart started to beat faster as I sped up and pulled roughly into our driveway in which a cop was looking at me as if I had no business being there.

"What's going on!?" I yelled out as I hopped from my car.

"Excuse me ma'am, you can't be here right no-"

"-Hell if I can't! This is my house! What's going on!?"

"Ma'am calm down. There's been an accident."

"What kind of accien-" I stopped mid-sentence as my gaze went behind him. I pushed passed him to see two paramedics rolling out a stretcher with Cat on it.

"Cat!" I said as I ran over to her with Italy following close behind.

"Mom! God what happen to her!?" Italy screamed out to a paramedic as tears filled her eyes and started to fall quickly.

"She has a severe concussion. We believe she's fallen down the stairs. We need to get her medical attention immediately, so please step aside ma'am."

"Where's Jade!?" I yelled out but it seemed as if no one heard me.

"Can I please go, this is my mother!" Italy cried as she grabbed onto Cat's hand and pleaded to the paramedics who agreed to let her go.

"I'll meet you there." I yelled out to Italy before running to the open door of my house. There were a few people downstairs in suits talking that I didn't recognize and once I stepped in they all turned to me.

"Ma'am, excuse me, who are-"

I didn't let them finish as I ran up the stairs to where I saw Andre sitting at the top with his hands to his face.

"What the hell is going on!?" I said as I ran up to him.

He instantly looked up at me with red puffy eyes as he stood up quickly and grabbed onto me gently. "Isis…let's go downstairs okay." He said trying to get me to walk back down the stairs but I yanked away from him and refused.

_Someone is going to tell me what the fuck is going on!_

"Tell me what the hell is happening! What happened to Cat!? Where is my mother!?"

He shook his head as he tried again to get me to go downstairs and that's when I noticed the door to my parent's room marked off with yellow **DON'T CROSS** tape and my heart dropped.

I pushed hard passed him as I tried to run to the room but I felt big arms wrap around me and turned me around. "Isis, no, go downstairs." Andre said firmly as he held me tight.

"Let me go! What the hell is going on!? Tell me now!"

"I'll tell you, just go downstairs. You shouldn't be up here."

"NO!" I screamed out as I kicked my foot up kicked him right in his dick that made him loosen his grip and I got away.

I sprinted all the way to my parent's room before stopping at the door and looking in.

"ISIS NO!"

The first and only thing I could see was blood. There was blood everywhere. On the walls behind their bed and all over their head board all over their bed and then my eyes fell to her face.

I gasped as my hand went to my mouth. "M…Ma..."

"Hey, you can't be up here."

"Get her out of here."

"Isis!" I once again felt the huge arms grab onto me but this time the arms scoped me and ran me down the stairs and out of the house.

"Isis." He said as he put me back to my feet. He just stared at me for a moment as I stood in silence.

Everything around me started to spin as my stomach did flips making me hunch over and throw up everything I've eaten for the past 16 years. My heart couldn't beat, my lungs couldn't find air, my eyes couldn't blink, my mind couldn't function, my legs gave in.

"Isis…Isis, I'm sorry." Were the only words I heard before being held in a tight embrace on the ground. "You weren't supposed to see that." He said in a shaky voice against me, but..I…I don't understand. What the hell is happening?

"Wake up." I told myself aloud once I found out how to use my mouth.

"What?" Andre said as he pulled out of his embrace to look at me. I looked him in his eyes. "Wake up. I need to wake up." I whispered in a firm voice.

_I know I'm dreaming, this is a nightmare. It's one of those dreams where you know you are dreaming, I just have to wake up now._

"I'm dreaming."

I watched as Andre shook his head.

"I'm dreaming." I stated again as my heart found its way to beat again as it started to beat so hard in my chest that it hurt.

I watched as he put his head down. "I'm sorry Isis."

I started to shake my head as tears filled my eyes and everything inside me started to burn with fire.

"Come here." He said as he put his arms out but I hit them away before punching him in his chest softly.

"Nooo. Noooooo." I whispered as I felt my eyes fill with tears and my heart twist and turn. "This isn't real, it's not real."

He took his hand and wiped down his face wiping his own tears away. "Ice…" Was all he said before grabbing me to him and holding me tight against him.

My chin went to rest on his shoulder as I watched a stretcher and two paramedics leave the house just as they had with Cat, but this one was different. It was covered. And I screamed. I screamed loudly as I broke free from Andre and started to run to the covered body, but he grabbed me again, he held me back.

"Noooooo, nooooo, NOOOOOOOO, JADEEEEE, MOMMMMMMM! NOOOOOOOOOO!" I screamed as I my legs gave out again and my knees hit the ground.

Tears started to stream from my eyes like a waterfall as he grabbed my head and buried my face in his stomach not letting me turn my head in any kind of way to see her again as I cried into him hard.

_I just want to die…_

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**[Andre's POV]**

_2 Days Later_

I sat beside the hospital bed of Cat and held onto her hand tight as her chest heaved up and down by a machine.

She's been out for 2 whole days but just moments ago I saw her fingers move and I knew she was waking up.

"Cat." I said as I brought my other hand to her face.

Her eyes opened slightly as she looked up at the ceiling.

"Cat."

She turned her head slightly and let her gaze fall onto me. "….A….An…dre."

"Mom!" I heard Italy scream as she ran into the room dropping the book she had in her hands before running over to her. "Mom…" She cried hard as Cat looked over at her.

I watched as Cat slowly brought her hand up to Italy's face. "…Bu..tterfly….don't…c…ry."

"Italy go get the doctor." I said to her in which she nodded and kissed her mother's hand before leaving.

The doctor ran into the room within seconds and asked me to step back as he checked on things like Cat's heart and blood pressure before checking machines.

"Caterina, can you hear me?"

She nodded.

"Can you talk to me?"

"Y..yes." She said more firm than the voice she was talking to me with.

"Can you tell me the last thing you remember?"

She closed her eyes tight for a moment before opening them. "J…Jade."

"What about Jade?"

"She….she pushed me…I wen…went down the…stairs."

The doctor nodded. "Very good."

I watched as the doctor put his hand in hers. "Caterina, I want you to squeeze my hand as hard as you can."

I watched as her hand squeezed his and from what I could see it was pretty tight.

He then moved to her legs and lifted the covers so that her legs were free. He tapped the tip of her toe. "Can you feel that?"

She nodded.

"Can you lift only your right leg for me?" And she did was she was told without a problem before the doctor asked her to do the same with her other leg.

He then moved to the other side of her body asking her to queeze his hand with the opposite hand than before.

"Is she okay?" Italy asked as she hung onto me.

"She's looking great. We'll run a few mind test, but it doesn't look as if she's suffered any long term trauma from her concussion or the fall. She'll be fine." He said as he punched in something on one of her machines before telling us he'll be back soon and left the room.

"Andre.." She said and both I and Italy jumped up and ran other to her side. "..W..where's Jade?"

Italy immediately hiccupped as she back away from the bed and started to cry as softly as she could, but her cries were loud and harsh.

I turned to her and put hand on her shoulder. "You have to calm down Italy. It's not good for the baby. So breathe. Everything will be okay. Go back out to the lobby with Kodak. Tell them to send Beck in here."

She nodded as she tried to calm down and left the room.

"..Andre…"

"Hang on Little Red." I said as I waited for Beck and he finally walked in with his head down and his hands in his pocket. "How is she?"

"She's awake."

"Beck?" She called out at she looked over to him.

He walked over and grabbed onto her hand. "Hey Cat."

"I… thought you were supposed to be in New York for 2 weeks."

"I flew in when I heard the news."

"W..what news?" She looked around with confusion. "I'm fine…you didn't have t..o come for me.."

I sighed as well as Beck.

"We have something to tell you Cat."

"W…what?"

We both grabbed onto both of her hands tight. Beck looked over at me and in which I looked back at him. There's no way I can give her this news. I just can't be the one to tell her that the love of her life is gone.

He sighed again as he ran his hand through his hair with his free hand.

"What is it?" Cat asked impatiently as she sat up a little.

"Jade…." He stopped as he turned away from her.

"Jade what?"

Beck looked at me. I could tell this was just as hard for him as it was for me and he is already dealing with his own wife just now being released from the hospital this morning.

I reached down and cupped her small face. "She's gone Cat."

She furrowed her brows. "W…what?...What do you mean she's…she's gone? I..I don't understand."

But she does. I know she understands. She just needs confirmation and it's hard enough telling her once but to tell her twice is killing.

"She committed suicide Cat." Beck just blurted out.

I watched as Cat's nose turned red and her eyes filled with tears. "..W…what?"

"I'm so sorry Little Red."

She shook her head. "I..noo, I don't…I don't understand Andre."

I just nodded as tears fell from my own eyes.

Her bottom lip got wedge between her teeth as her lip quivered. Her breathing turned into small panting before her hands went to her face and she started to sob loudly.

I watched as Beck turned around and smacked the wall behind him as a tear fell from his own eyes before just leaving the room all together.

This has to be one of the hardest things to see your best friend go through; especially someone like Cat. This is going to be a long road to recovery for her and her kids.

I just can't believe this happened. Jade….ugh she was so damn close, so damn close to changing herself for Cat. It makes me so angry.

…..All I can do now is be here for this family. That's all anybody can do; show them support and love.

_I'm sorry Cat….I'm so sorry….._

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	2. I Won't Tell

Chapter 2

_I Won't Tell_

**[Isis's POV]**

**KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK**

"Isis…baby?" The door to the bed room I and my sister's share at Heather's, Cat's mother, and George's, Cat's father, house opened slowly as Heather walked in.

She sighed. "Why don't you have your dress on?" She asked in a soft gentle voice as she walked over to the twin sized bed and sat down beside my laid out body.

"I'm not going."

She reached over and let her fingers run through my hair. "Your hair is really dirty Isis and you need a shower. We leave in 30 minutes. You promised me you'd have yourself together and ready if I left you alone. What happened?" She said still in her soft soothing voice but more firm and agitated.

"Nothing happened. I'm not going."

She sighed again. "Yes you are. Come on, I'll help you." She said as she grabbed my hand and tried to pull me up but I snatched back and growled at her as if I were some kind of animal. I don't know where it came from, but whatever.

"Isis-"

"-Mom, Dad needs you for something." Cat said as she stepped in.

Heather leaned over and gave me a kiss before walking over to Cat. "Talk to your daughter." She whispered as if I couldn't hear her before she left the room.

I just rolled my eyes and turned away from her.

"Isis." Cat said in a low sincere voice before I felt the bed sink in. I felt her hand go to my back.

"I know it's hard. It's hard for all of us-"

"-You don't know the half of it Cat."

"No you don't know the half of it Isis! I know it hurts. Trust me I know. It hurts for all of us! But you have to pull it together because you can't keep living like this. Look at you, your hair is all nasty, you smell bad, you haven't eaten in like 3 days, you barley even go to the bathroom. I know it hurts you to have to do this today, but we all here together. We will get through it together. I'm not going to let you sit like this in here anymore. Do you know how hard it is for me to even wake up in the morning, but I still do it, and you can too."

I sighed. "Thanks for your speech, but I'm not going, and nobody can make me."

I felt nails go into my arm as I was yanked up to her face. She put her hands on my face as she looked me in my eyes. "You're going Isis. I'm going and so are you."

"No I'm not!" I yelled as I tried to pull away from her but her grip got tighter on my face. "Just let me go!" I screamed as I felt my heart start to ache. I reached my hands up and started to scratch her arms so she would loosen up, but still she didn't.

"Baby, it's going to be okay."

"No it's not! What makes you think this will be okay!? What the hell is the matter with all of you!? You are all going crazy talking about everything will be okay! I lost my mother, she's gone! She's never coming back! And you! I don't know how you feel, but you seem as if you don't give ten fucks that your wife died just 4 days ago! Well I care! I don't want to go to her funeral! I don't want to see her face ever again unless she's alive! Now leave me the hell alone, Valentine! There's nothing you can do that will make me change my mind! I'M NOT GOING!" I yelled as I pushed her hard off of me so hard it made her fall to the floor. But fuck it, I don't care.

I wiped my eyes as I turned my head from her and laid back down. It wasn't until about 3 minutes later that I felt her presents leave the room closing the door softly behind her.

_Fuck my family. None of them understands how it is to lose your mother. Fuck them all._

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**[November's POV]**

I looked in the mirror as I smoothed out my black dress and fixed my hair one last time.

"Novie are you ready!?" I heard my mother call from downstairs.

"Yes!"

"Well c'mon, before we're late!" She yelled as I grabbed my small purse and walked out of my room. As soon as I closed the door my stomach did a flip. I ran as fast as I could to the toilet before puking up the breakfast I ate, but this is nothing new. It's like part of my morning routine.

I just stood straight, rinsed my mouth, fixed my hair and clothes again and met my mother downstairs.

"Hurry, we're running late." She said as she pushed me out of the door.

I hate funerals. Ever since my dad died I just picture his face in that casket. It never leaves my mind.

The church Jade's funeral was held at was small and not many people were there at all. I thought we were just the first to arrive until they closed the doors and started the…ceremony?

My mother took her seat by Tori while I just took my seat by Ikenzie.

"Are you okay? I'm so sorry." I said as I brought her into a hug, but she didn't respond with words. She just hugged be back tight.

I only met Jade a couple times since I've been friends with Ikenzie and those couple of times she seemed that she either didn't like me or just didn't care that I was around. Ikenzie said it was because she didn't like my mother and just saw me as a splitting image of her.

I sat back and held on tight to Ikenzie's hand the entire time. I was scared to have to walk up with her to view the body because I didn't think I could handle it, but they didn't even open the casket. They wouldn't and Ikenzie didn't understand why until Italy just shook her head and told her that maybe it was for the best that it stayed closed.

It wasn't until later that I learned from my mother that Jade must have had a huge hole in her head and she explained it in detail as if she were there making me sick to my stomach.

"…Say a few words."

I heard someone say as I looked up from playing with the end of my dress being in deep thought of my father.

I watched as a fatigue looking Cat slowly walked up and grabbed the mic from the unknown guy who was speaking as she looked at the closed casket and played with the pedals of some flowers that sat in the middle. She finally turned around to face us as she wiped her eyes.

"…I met Jade when we both were only 5 years old. 5… years old…..the day I saw her I knew, I knew something wasn't right. I saw the way her mother hurt her in the store that day, I saw the way she helped her up and dusted her off when people were watching, it was a lie. Jade smiled at me, but I knew it was fake. I told her I saw what happened and I told her I wouldn't tell and that was the biggest mistake I've ever made in my entire life. _I won't tell. _Those words are half of what led her here today."

She looked up as tears fell from her eyes.

"Jade….when she wasn't at home, when we were in elementary and junior high school, she was the sweetest girl ever. She loved everybody. She was known as the class helper. She wore bright clothes, she smiled, she was happy she was away from home, because home was hell to her. Her parents beat her. They beat her every day. She didn't want me to tell and I didn't."

"So many people….hurt her. So many people she was supposed to be able to trust lied to her, broke her heart, threw her to the side, stepped all over her like she was SHIT!" Cat screamed as she stomped a foot with tears streaming from her eyes.

"She trusted me…..she trusted _me_. She always came to me and I kept her secrets because she asked me to. I held her hand because she asked me to. I held her close because she asked me to. I trusted her because she asked me to. But I loved her because I was supposed to. She always use to think that she forced me to marry her, that she forced me to love her…but….but she didn't…She didn't. I loved her. I did without her asking because I saw the real Jade. I knew the real Jade and the real Jade loved."

"She trusted me….and I…I hurt her because of someone I trusted." She said through gritted teeth.

"Why did you do that to me? Why!?" Cat cried as she looked at Tori.

_Why did she do what?..._ I thought.

"I trusted you! You were my best friend! How could you take advantage of me like that!?"

"You never told me to stop! You can't blame all this on me! I was just trying to help!" Tori said as she stood up.

_Whoa….it's getting real…._

"I shouldn't of have had to tell you to stop! You shouldn't have ever did what you did to me in the first place! I should have caught it coming! You were trying to lure me away from her from the beginning! Because of you, I let my wife down. Because of you she felt she had no one to trust! Because of you, her heart got broken for the last time! Because of you, Tori Vega, my wife is dead. IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT! YOU DID THIS!"

Cat screamed as she dropped the mic and charged to Tori in which she got a few good punches in before Andre and a guy named Robbie got a hold of her and pulled her away. She started screaming and crying Jade's name hysterically as they pulled her from the church and I just couldn't believe this was actually happening during Jade's funeral right now. Like seriously…fighting at a funeral!? No respect….

The church soon calmed itself before more people spoke on Jade, people sang, and everything was over.

"What was that about? Why did she hit Aunt Tori? " I asked my mom on the way to the burial.

"Oh pshhh, hell if I know. Cats just going crazy."

I just sat back and sighed.

_Poor Cat…._

* * *

**[Heaven's & Isis's Text]**

Heaven: ….Isis?

Isis: Who the hell is this?

Heaven: It's Heaven.

Isis: What the hell do you want!? I told you to stay out of my life!

Heaven: I'm sorry about your mother.

Isis: Yeah whatever.

Heaven: I didn't see you at the funeral today.

Isis: Maybe that's because I didn't go. Why the hell were you there?

Heaven: …I knew Jade. Plus my dad went.

Isis: Yeah whatever.

Heaven: How could you miss your own mother's funeral?

Isis: Why the hell are you texting me!? I don't like you! Leave me the hell alone!

Heaven: If anything I should be the one not liking you. But I forgive you. And I just wanted to check on you because I do care.

Isis: Well I don't so stop texting me.

Heaven: Well...if anybody doesn't know how you feel you know that I do.

Isis: Heaven your mother died when you were only 6! You probably don't even remember her!

Heaven: That's true I was 6, it's false that I don't remember her. I remember everything about her, and I mean everything. I still miss her and it still hurts.

Isis: Whateverrrrrrrrr

Heaven: (sighing emoticon) I'm sorry Isis. If you ever just need to talk, you know where to find me.

Isis: …. Whatever.

* * *

**[Italy's POV]**

_~Flashback~_

_4 Years Old_

"_Now we have to add a little bit of love." Jade said as she grabbed the sugar._

_I laughed. "That's sugar!"_

"_Oh but it's not…" She lifted a brow. "Everything you bake needs a little bit of love or it will come out nasty."_

"_Really?" I asked as she picked me up and sat me on the cabinet. _

"_Well of course." She reached over and grabbed the sugar. "Sweetness is love."_

_She reached a small cup in the sugar. "Hold out your hand."_

_I did as I was told before she poured a small amount of sugar in my hand and then told me to put in the cake._

_I sprinkled it in softly._

"_With every sprinkle is one ounce of sweetness."_

"_Which is full of love?" I asked._

_She tapped my nose. "Which is full of love."_

"_Now Mommy can eat love for her birthday!" I giggled and clapped my hands._

_She laughed as she kissed me on my cheek. "You're just like her and she sure can and so can you." She grabbed me an placed me back on my feet. "It's time for a nap."_

"_Awwwww."_

"_Awwwwwww" Shre mocked. "You're sister s already sleep. You should be too. Just for a little bit 'kay?"_

_I smiled. "Okay."_

_She stirred the cake a bit before placing it in the oven._

_She reached down and picked me up in her arms before carrying me up to my room placing me on my bed._

"_I love you ma'." I said as I laid back and she tucked me in._

_She kissed me on my head. "I love you too. Have a good nap."_

_I smiled as I watched her walked out of the room slowly before dozing off to sleep._

I laid in the guest room bed with Ikenzie and Isis across the room as I silently cried to myself.

People say Jade's a bitch and Jade's a jerk and selfish and whatever! But…she wasn't. She wasn't, she loved us. She was always there for us.

Ughhhhhh why would she do this!? Why would she leave us behind like this? What did I ever do to her for her to leave me!? I'm sorry for anything I've ever done Jade! Please come back! Pleaseeee…

I started to sob harder as I buried my face in my pillow to muffle my sounds so I wouldn't wake my sisters.

All of a sudden I started to feel a sharp pain in my lower back which made me yelp a little bit as my lip.

I turned over on my back and sat up which seemed to make the pain worsen a bit before reaching over and turning on the small light beside my bed.

The pain was on going and it felt as if I had a huge cramp but stuck in my back and I figured it's because I wasn't laying correctly until I pulled back my cover and saw the small wet spot on my pants and on the bed under me before screaming Isis's name.

"What the hell do you want?" Isis said as she turned over in her bed. Her eyes got wide as she sat up, hopped out of her bed and ran over to me.

"Isis…."

"Aw fuck! Cat!" She yelled as she ran to the door. "Catttttt!"

I closed my eyes and sat back as tears filled my eyes. _This can't be happening right now…_

"W,what's going on?" I heard Ikenzie ask but I didn't respond as I started to panic.

_Nooooo, nooo god nooooo….not nowww._

"What is it?" I heard Cat's voice and my eyes opened. She ran over to me as her eyes got wide. "Oh god…okay…okay. Just…stay calm."

"mMm…." I cried as she tried to sit me back up.

"It's going to be okay, just breathe, we'll get you to the hospital."

"I'm only 29 weeks." I said as I put my hands to my face and cried. "It's too early.."

I felt Cat's small hands grab my wrist. "She's going to be fine okay. Don't worry about anything. I need you to calm down."

But I couldn't believe that and I couldn't calm down. I started to sob harder as my mind just kept seeing my babygirl being born dead.

_Oh noooooooo!_

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	3. Fault

Chapter 3

_Fault_

**[Cat's POV]**

"Alright baby I nee-"

"-It hurtssss." Italy wined as she threw her head back.

"I know it does babe, trust me, but we need to get you out to the car and to the hospital as soon as possible. So first I need you to just breathe and relax, everything will be fine." My mother said as she held onto her hand while I stood aside and watched.

"Do you think you can walk?"

I watched as Italy closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths before she gave a huge sigh. "I think it's over." She said as she sat up more.

"That was 3 minutes." Isis said as she looked at the clock on her phone.

"I think I'm okay to walk." I walked by her side and helped her swing her legs over the bed and brought her to her feet, my mom on her other side.

"Just small steps at a time."

We were walking at turtle speed and by the time we made it to the door another contraction took over her causing her to stop moving.

"Grmmmmmmmmmmm." She moaned in pain as she gripped onto me tight. "I have to sit." She cried.

"Come on Italy, we're almost to the car."

We stepped outside and she cried out as she let herself go so she could sit on the ground but we held onto her tight holding her up. "Italy."

"I cann'ttttttt."

"Isis." My mother called out and Isis ran to her side. "Sorry Caterina, but I need Isis to do this, move over. Isis grab your sister we're going to carry her to the car."

"Why can't dad just do i?." I asked as I moved over.

"You know his back it out." She said as she counted and lifted Italy.

We finally made it to the car where Italy was almost screaming as she was put in the back seat of Isis's car.

"George, take our car and take Ikenzie with you." My mom hollered out as she threw her keys to my dad.

I hopped in the front while Isis hopped in the driver's seat.

"Now Isis, I need you to drive really, really fast but be safe. Forget the police, forget the rules. It's 2am, not many ppl will be on the street anyways." Isis just nodded as she started the car and floored it out of the driveway.

"Pppleaseeee make it stoppppp, make it stop!" Italy cried as I reached back and held onto her hand tight.

"I'm going to take these off okay." My mom said as she started to remove Italy's pajama pants.

"I don't want to have my baby in the carrrr!"

"I know baby…." I said as tears filled my eyes. I just hate to see my daughter go through this. The pain…it's horrible to watch.

"She's right there." My mom said with her hand on Italy's privates.

I turned on the light and leaned in to see the black hair of the baby's head about to come out.

"Italy don't push yet." My mother said before turning to Isis. "How far Isis?"

"We're almost there!"

Italy laid in the back panting and screaming that she needed to push, that it felt like the baby was coming out either way.

I watched as the small little head started to move forward and my mother right between her legs grabbing a hold to it.

"We're here!"

"Go get a doctor FAST!" My mother yelled as Isis jumped from the car and into the emergency room.

"AHHHHHHH GOOOODODDDDDDD GET HER OUT OF MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Italy screamed and cried.

"Okay baby we're here. Just give me on big push Italy and she's out. Come on baby, one big one."

"Grrrmmmmmmmmmm AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH UGHHHH."

I started to sob as a very small baby fell right out and into the palms of my mother's hands giving me the most heartwarming feeling I've ever felt besides giving birth to my own children, but this was a little different.

Blood was everywhere as Italy sat back with her eyes closed still panting and the small baby not making a sound.

"W….why….why isn…'t she…she cryinggg?" Italy said between breath and tears.

Medical staff finally rushed over to the car as one snapped the umbilical cord and rushed the baby away while the other two pulled Italy from the vehicle and onto a stretcher, rushing her inside as well.

My mother started to cry as she watched them rush her granddaughter and great granddaughter away. Everything from her arms to her thighs where covered in blood but I still embraced her in a tight hug anyways letting out crys from just everything that's happened today.

"Everybody shut up and just go find her." I heard Isis say in a low firm voice as she flopped in the drivers seat and slammed her door so she could go park.

It wasn't until about 35 minutes later that a doctor walked into our waiting room that now had Kodak in addition sitting with his hands to his face.

"How's the baby?" "Is the baby okay?" "Is the baby alight?" We all asked at the same time as the doctor looked at us with a small smile.

"She's very small, and it's a shocker but she's doing just fine. She's very healthy for how small she is. Strong baby you guys are dealing with here."

"Thank god!" We all sighed in relief.

"Can we see her?"

"Of course you can. She's in an incubator right now in the nursery. She very small, only 3 pounds 2 ounces so we have her on a monitor. Don't let any of the equipment she's hooked to scare you, it's just to keep an eye out." She smiled. "The nursery is right down the hall to your left, and Italy is in room 109." She smiled.

"Thank you so much."

The doctor nodded before she left the room and we all hugged each other tight.

"Do you see her?" I asked as we looked in the window at all the pre-mature babies, but the name Kemistry wasn't anywhere to be found.

I turned over to Isis to see her staring through the glass with a heartwarming smile on her face as she looked at one of the small babies.

"Is that her?" I asked as I walked over to her and looked at the name of the baby on the incubator.

_**It's A Girl!**_

_**Jadelyn Kemistry Harris**_

_**December 1**__**st**_

_**3 LBS, 2 Ounces **_

_**Italy Ray West-Valentine**_

My eyes filled with tears as my hand went too my mouth. This is the most beautiful thing I've seen all day.

I turned around and embraced Isis into a tight hug in which I felt her shiver against me as she cried.

"I'm sorry Isis." I said as tears fell from my own eyes.

"…Why….ughhhhh whyyyy?" She cried harder as Ikenzie, my mom, and my dad tried to comfort her and calm her down a bit as well.

_It's all my fault….._

"I'm sorry baby. I'm so sorry."

* * *

**[Italy's POV]**

**KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK**

I looked up to see Kodak standing in the doorway before he smiled and walked all the way in and sat down beside my bed.

"…how you feelin'?"

I shrugged. "I'm okay. A little sore, but I'm good."

"I'm sorry I missed the birth."

I laughed. _He can't be serious_. "I was barely there for the birth. It's fine, there was no way for you to be there. You're here now. That's all that matters."

He just smiled.

"Where is everyone else?"

"Oh they are out looking at your baby."

"_Our _baby you mean?" I lifted brow and smiled.

"Oh yeah….dang….I'm a dad."

"You are, and you will be the best. I know it." I giggled. "Have you seen her?"

He shook his head. "No, your family is taking over." He laughed. "Can…can I have a DNA test…you know…just to see if she's really mine? If she's not it wouldn't make a difference. I'm not going anywhere baby."

I smiled. "Of course you can. And I know. I love you Kodak. Thank you." He leaned over and kissed me softly before he pulled back and grabbed onto my hand. "Don't thank me. I love you too."

"I changed her name."

He lifted a brow. "You did? To what?"

"Jadelyn Kemistry Harris, but we can still call her Kemistry."

"That's a beautiful name and I'm so sorry Italy."

I smiled as I put my head down as visions of Jade filled my mind and I couldn't help but bring my hands to my face cry.

"Hey, don't cry. I'm here." He said as I felt his arms go around me softly. I removed my hands from my face as I wrapped my arms back around him and cried into his shoulder.

"Everything will be okay soon."

But that's not true. I do have a new soul in my life, she's my love my everything to me, but she doesn't take the place of the soul I lost. And unless she returns, nothing will be the same, and nothing will be okay. I just wish she was here and then everything would be perfect, but she's not and still life goes on without her and it hurts.

_It hurts so bad._

* * *

**[Beck's POV]**

_2 Days Later_

"You can't keep brushing this aside Tori! Tell me what you did!"

"It's none of your business! Will you stop bringing it up! You said you would leave it alone!" Tori yelled as she made the bed in our room.

"Yeah, I said I'd leave it alone, now I've changed my mind. It's all my business. What the hell did you do to her!?"

"Beck, just drop it!"

"I'm not dropping it!" I yelled as I grabbed her wrists and turned her to me. "What did you do!?"

"Ughhh! I didn't do anything you haven't done before!" She screamed as she yanked her wrist from me.

"What are you talking about?"

"Ohhhhhhh don't evennnnn Beck! You know what you did! And I did it too!"

I sighed as I ran my hand through my hair as my insides started to boil. "Tori, that was a stupid fucking mistake years, over years ago! And it wasn't even my fault and you know that!"

"Yeah I bet it wasn't."

I grabbed her and turned her to me. "You know that was not my fault Tori! I would never cheat on you!"

"Well you did."

"She spiked my fucking drink! I had no control! I didn't know what I was doing!"

"You shouldn't have went over there in the first place! And because you were so careless with your drinks and you wanted to _party hardy_ with Robbie and his stupid wife, I now have a little girl in my house that I'm raising that doesn't even belong to me!"

"IT WASN'T MY FAULT!"

"Well it's not my fault I had sex with Cat." She said simply as she turned around and finished making the bed.

"….Excuse me, what?…you did what?"

"You heard me." She said as she walked around me. "How does it feel?" She turned to me and crossed her arms.

"Tori you did what!?"

She didn't say anything as she kept looking at me with a mad face.

"Ughhh you are so stupid! Why would you do something like that Tori!? No wnder Cat was saying it was all your fault!"

"I did it for Cat!"

"Are you out of your mind!?" I turned around so I could think for a minutes without looking at her face.

"It's not my fault! I did it for her! She-"

"-Shut the hell up Tori! It probably is your fault! You know Cat had to tell Jade about that and Jade's fucking sensitive!"

"Jade West was not sensitive!"

"YES SHE WAS!" I turned around and yelled as she stepped back. "Before you go and try to get back at somebody, you don't even know what the hell you were doing!"

"I wasn't trying to get back at anybody!"

"Yeah right, I believe that. You wanted to get back at Jade for hurting Cat and you wanted to get back at me. You knew good and damn well Cat was going to tell Jade what you did! You knew that! I know you Tori, you try to get back at people while acting all sweet and innocent as if what you do is for something else or you act as if you don't know what you're doing when you do! You didn't do that for Cat and even if you did it was for about 20%. The rest was revenge and you know it! Now everything is fucked up because of what you did!" I pointed to her as I got as close to her as I could.

"Ahhh!" She screamed as she pushed me out of the way.

"Forget everything! Pack your bags Beck, get your daughter and get out of here!"

_What?_ "Tori whens the last time you paid a major bill in this house? Who's name is this house under? You want to get away from me? Get your bags, and you go."

"Fine….fine, and I'm taking Monica with me."

"Wrong answer." I said as I walked closer to her again. "If you take my daughter away from this house I will have you arrested for kidnapping."

"You can't do that!"

"Try me Tori."

I watched as tears filled her eyes as she pushed passed me and into the closet where she grabbed a huge suitcase that actually belonged to me before snuffing it with unfolded clothes.

She dragged the heavy suitcase to the door as tears started to fall from her eyes and my heart softened.

"Tori." I sighed as I held up a hand. "Wait."

"No! Don't try that soft talk now!"

"Tori, seriously…I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. I'm just….upset I guess."

She wiped her eyes as she turned to me. "About what?"

"What do you mean about what!? My friend just died! My best friend is heartbroken, I just found out my wife slept with her behind my back, I just gave up the biggest break in New York for me in my entire life….I don't Tori what is there to be upset about!?" I asked sarcastically as I sat down on the edge of our bed. "It's just so much all at once."

Tori sighed as she put the bag down and leaned against the wall.

"I just can't believe she's gone." I shook my head as my heart started to ache.

"It was just her time." Tori said as if she didn't give a shit that she was dead.

"It wasn't her time Tori! She took her own life because of people like you."

She turned to me with a made face. "Excuse me!?"

"You should have never came onto me in high school."

"You came onto me!"

"No you came onto me! Ughhh stop! I can't…I can't blame you, it was both of us. But I can blame you for fucking sleeping with her wife! You probably caused her last heart ache!"

"So now you're blaming me for killing herself Beck!?"

I sighed again… _what am I saying?_ "No…just…no." I shook my head as I stood up. "I need air. I'll be back." I said as I walked out of our room and out of the house.

I let down all of my windows as I drove a few of blocks to her house.

It looked abandoned. It looked as if no one has been to that house in ages and I have no idea if the West-Valentine family will return back or just sale their home.

I pulled into the driveway before stepping from my vehicle and walking up to the house. Even though the outside of the house was big and welcoming, it had a ghost feeling to it that made me shiver.

I looked over and on ground was Cat's phone. I picked it up and tried to look through it but it was dead. Putting it in my pocket I made a mental note to return it to her later.

I walked around to the back yard of the house where everything was steal and silent.

"I'm sorry Jade. I really am. I hope somehow you forgive me." I just shook my head and hit the fence before returning to my car and speeding off to a coffee shop.

_I think this is all my fault…._

* * *

**Thanks for reading!**

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	4. She Never Came In

**Hey guys I decided to keep going with this story because thats what most of you guys wanted instead of going back. I'm glad to see that you guys are enjoying the story because I really did believe it sucked.**

**I want to thank, **

_**nobody, radeo, Lord Nune, fallspring99, ScottyBgood, Tamsin4Bo, massiveprocrastinator, MidnightEvanescence, & Guest**_

**for the words of encouragement and I want to thank**_  
_

_**iVictorious, moustachelover352 & Guest**_

**for input ideas. But I'll just continue.**

**Thanks again everybody!**

**Here is Chapter 4**

**Enjoy :)**

* * *

Chapter 4

_She Never Came In_

**[Beck's POV]**

I walked into the glass doors of the small corner coffee shop before walking right up to the counter. Lucky me, there was no line today.

"Can I have a caramel frappe please, large." I said as I reached into my back pocket to grab my wallet.

"$5.95" The cashier said before he yelled out my order and took my card. "Pick up at the next counter." He said as he handed me my card and receipt.

"Thanks."

Right as I approached the counter a young lady handed me my frappe with a smile. I thanked her before heading to an empty table, sitting down and pulling out my phone.

_**New Text Message**_

_**Sender: Trina**_

Trina: I need a favor.

I scrunched my face at the message before replying.

Me: What kind of favor?

Trina: Please come and get November. I'm having company tonight and I don't need her around.

Me: Wow….why didn't you ask your sister to go and get her?

Trina: I did! She won't reply! Just come get her. Be here anytime before 6.

Me: What if I have plans?

Trina: Cancel them!

Me: Why don't you just drop her off?

Trina: Beck! Just come get her! Bye!

I shook my head as I looked around and then back to my phone.

_Hey wait…._

I looked back up to see Cat sitting in a far corner with her head down and I immediately grabbed my drink and walked over to her.

"Cat?"

She looked up at me with what looked to be hope in her eyes but that hope disappeared once she realized who I was. "Oh…hi Beck."

"Are you waiting for someone?"

She just shrugged.

"Can I sit?"

She shrugged again as she put her head back down and I'm pretty sure that's the closest thing I'm going to get to a yes, so I took a seat right across from her.

She sat quietly with her hands folded in her lap. On the table in front of her sat a medium cup of coffee with two sugars sitting right beside it.

"You drink coffee?" I asked as I sat my drink down and crossed my arms on the table.

She shook her head.

"So who is that for?" I gestured toward the untouched coffee.

"….Jade."

I looked around before looking back to her. "….Cat."

"Don't argue with me Beck, it's for Jade." She said with an outburst before calming herself again.

…_Not good._

"How long have you been sitting here Cat?"

She shrugged.

I just stared at her for a moment before standing up. "I'll be right back." I said as walked to the front counter.

"May I help you?"

"Yeah, I was just wondering how long ago that lady over there came in." I asked pointing to Cat.

The guy looked at me and shrugged before a lady behind him spoke up. "Oh she's been here for quite a while. She bought the coffee and has just been sitting in the corner. We asked her if she was alright and she said she was waiting for someone."

"About how long ago was that?"

She shook her head. "I don't know. Maybe…4 hours."

I just nodded. "Thanks." I said before walking back over to Cat and taking a seat; scooting a chair beside her this time.

Her head stayed down.

"So where are your daughters?"

"Hospital."

"What why?"

"Italy had the baby."

_Italy had a?….ohhhh yeah she had a daughter that was pregnant._

"Well congratulations. You're kind of young to be a grandmom. Getting kind of old aren't you." I said as I nudged her on the shoulder. Trying to loosen her up.

She looked over at me and gave a very faint smile before looking back at her lap again.

"So ah..is it a boy or girl?"

"Girl."

"What's her name?"

She put her head down even more before she spoke in a low tone. "Jadelyn."

I sighed as I ran my hand through my hair. "I'm sorry Cat."

She just shrugged as she shook her head and tuned the other way. "Whatever."

"Cat I-"

"-Why did you do that to her Beck?"

I sat back a little. "Huh?"

"In high school. Why did you do that to her? She loved you so much. She trusted you Beck."

I sighed again as my heart started to ache. I never meant to hurt Jade the way I did. I swear I didn't.

"I was young and stupid."

"Do you regret it? And I mean regret breaking her heart and marring Tori and having kids with her." She said as she turned back to me.

I opened my mouth and closed it. Do I regret cheating on Jade. Yes. Do I regret my wife and kids….I mean no. I can't. I love my daughters more than anything in the world and I don't regret them. But sometimes….just sometimes…I do regret marrying Tori.

"I don't regret my daughter's Cat. But I do sometimes regret being with Tori."

"But your daughter's are Tori's, so if you regret marrying her, you have to regret her kids."

"They are my kids too Cat and I don't regret my kids and plus only one of my daughters are Tori's. And I still don't regret her. I love them both with all my heart."

"What do you mean only one is Tori's?" She said as her eyes widened a bit and that's when I realized I've said too much.

I shook my head. "How did this conversation turn to me?"

She lifted a brow and shook her head. "Kaylee isn't Tori's is she?"

I put my head down. "No."

"So you cheated on her too!?" She yelled louder than she needed to having heads turn our way.

"No!...no." I said quieter.

"Then how-"

"-Just listen." I sighed as I ran my fingers through my hair. "This was years ago. Tori and I had been married for 5 years and had Monica who was at the time 4 years old. Robbie and his wife Melissa were throwing a party. You know just to…blow the roof, or whatever they say these days. They invited Tori and I, but we couldn't really find anyone to watch Monica and Tori wasn't really the party type anyways so she didn't want to go and she didn't want me to go either, but I really wanted to see Robbie and Andre because I was in Texas. I never got to see those guys anymore and this was an opportunity to get together and just hang out. And you! You guys were there. You remember Cat?"

She closed her eyes for a moment before she nodded. "I remember."

"Well I end up talking Tori into letting me go even though she wasn't too happy about it because you guys were still kind of mad at us even though everyone seemed to be slowly putting it behind them. So anyways, I went and…I remember the whole time Melissa was just…always around me. She kept following me, flirting with me, dancing all on me and I had people looking at me as if I were coming onto her. I wasn't and I took her behavior as her having way too many drinks and I left it at that."

"It wasn't until later in the party that she brought me a drink and told me I need to loosen up a bit because everyone was drinking. But I didn't really drink. I'm not a drinker, so of course I refused but she insisted and I took her drink. Bad move."

"After the drink I started to feel dizzy, I couldn't really walk straight. I was out of it. The last things I remember are her grabbing my hand and taking me to a room. I remember kissing her, and then I remember waking up on the floor beside a bed butt naked. I rushed and put all my clothes back on, my head spinning."

"I went back home that weekend and I didn't say anything to Tori because she told me not to go in the first place and I had messed up. I didn't even know what I had done until I got a call 9 months later. It was Robbie. His voice was furious but he was hysterical, I could tell he was in tears. The first things he said to me is that his wife just died, the second thing he explained is how the baby that is supposedly his, looks just like me. He said he knew something wasn't right during her pregnancy, that she was acting weird. I had to send in my DNA and they took a test, comes to find out the baby he thought was his was mine and he wasn't about to raise my child."

"The worst thing, I had to tell Tori, she didn't believe a word I told her at first but then decided to believe .later I guess. I flew in to L.A. got Kaylee and brought her back home to raise her and Tori took her in as her own daughter."

I watched as Cat just gave me a blank stare before shaking her head. "I knew Robbie's wife has died, but I never knew how. She died giving birth to your baby?"

I nodded.

She shook her head. "I don't know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything. I just wanted you to know I didn't go out and cheat on my wife. I would never do that Cat."

"But you went out and intentionally cheated on Jade?"

I threw my head back. "Tori was hitting on me first but I can't blame her because I willingly went for her too. I never meant to hurt Jade. I swear I didn't."

"Don't you have any idea what she's been through? And you did that to her…you make me sick." She said through gritted teeth with tears forming in her eyes.

"No. no I don't know anything! You want to know why? Because Jade kept everything to herself! She wouldn't tell me anything! I saw scars and scraps on her body, I saw how much she used to be so upset sometimes and I would question her and question her but she would not tell me anything. Not a word. I loved her so so much but the more she held back from me, the more she shut me out, I felt that maybe she just didn't trust me. That maybe I wasn't the one for her, that maybe she didn't really love me the way that I loved her. She held so much from me and I couldn't even have a simple conversation with her. It was starting to get annoying, it was getting old. I told her to open up, but she wouldn't and I was losing interest in her. There was no trust in our relationship. We just were a high school couple. She didn't seem serious. She treated me like I was nothing, she talked to me any kind of way she wanted. She had absolutely no respect for me when I held so much for her and I just…I gave up."

"I saw the way she looked at you Cat. She trusted you. She always had. I knew she loved you. She talked about you all the time…..she loved you so much and she opened up to you, I know she did."

"No….she didn't tell me much either. I just saw what was going on and what I didn't see she didn't talk about." Cat said as she put her head back down and sighed.

"I…..I just want her back Beck." She said as she put her hands to her face and started to sob. "This….is my..fault."

I wrapped my arms around her tight. "No…it's not."

"I….I slept with your wife Beck…I'm so…so..so..sorr-"

"-Don't apologize. Tori already told me everything. It's her fault. She should have never came onto you like that. She took advantage of you Cat. It's not your fault. And I know she did that to get back at me for that night at the party."

I let go of her and reached into my pocket as she wiped her eyes. "This is yours." I said handing her, her dead phone.

"How'd you get this?"

"I went to you guys' house. I don't know why. It was outside on the ground."

She sniffed as she wiped the phone off. "Thank you."

"Are you guys going to move back in?"

She looked up at me with hatred in her eyes as if I just insulted her. "No." She said in a tone stating as if I should have known the answer to that before tears refilled her eyes. "I could never go back. Ever!"

She turned her teary eyes to the table. "This was Jade's favorite coffee shop." She said as she looked at the now cold coffee and the two sugars beside it.

"I use to run in and order her coffee and sit down right here and wait for her to park the car and come in to join me." She looked up at me with tears streaming from her eyes. "She didn't join me today Beck. I waited for her….she didn't come in."

I reached over and pulled her into a tighter hug as she sobbed hard into my shoulder shivering in my arms. "She..d..didn't..c…come….in…."

People turned their heads to us again for the 100th time today but I don't care. My heart hurts so bad for Cat. I can't imagine how she feels. She saw sides of Jade that nobody, not even I got to see. She knew the real Jade and I new both of them held so much trust and love for each other.

A small tear escaped my eye as I held onto Cat tight. I've never seen her cry like this before. It's not a _"I'm out of cookies cry"_ that I'm use to from her, but it's deep, it's from her heart, it's aching to hear.

If I could I would make all her pain go away. But I can't. All I can do is be here for her until grieving season is over and she's ready to stand up and walk by herself without someone to hang onto.

How could Jade do something like this? Especially to Cat, to her kids. I never knew exactly what Jade was feeling inside, but was it worth this? Leaving her family behind. Isis didn't even show up at her funeral and there's no telling what she's going through right now.

I owe her the biggest apology from trying to keep her away from my daughter. I didn't mean it that day. I was just upset already. I was having a bad day and that just caught me off guard. I guess when she said that I pictured Jade and the way she hurt Cat and Isis doing the same thing to my daughter. It wasn't so much of a gay thing as I made it seem. I don't care anymore. Monica can date whoever she wants as long as she's happy and if that's with Isis, then so be it.

Cat's cries dyed down as she pulled out of my hug and wiped her eyes.

"Come let's get out of here." I said as I stood her up. She wrapped her arm around my mine as I led her out of the coffee shop leaving "Jades" coffee behind.

"Are you okay to drive?" I asked once we stepped outside.

She shook her head. "I walked."

"Walked form where?"

"The hospital."

"What!? You're kidding! That's like a 10 mile walk!"

She put her head down and shrugged.

"C'mon, I'll give you a ride." I said leading her to my car. "Are you going back to the hospital?"

She shook her head. "I just….not yet."

"Well I have to pick up November, Tori's niece. Would you like to ride?"

She just nodded as I opened her door for her; closing it once she was inside.

I sighed.

_I just wish there was so much more I could do for Cat._

* * *

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	5. Medically Known

Chapter 5

_Medically Known_

**[Monica's POV]**

**DING DONG**

The door opened slowly to a thin older woman with short brown hair and brown eyes. She stood a little less shorter than I and when she smiled, it revealed dimples and I knew right away this was Cat's mother.

"Hello Mrs. Valentine. Is Isis here?" I asked as I crossed my wrist in front of me.

"Yes she is, come on in." She said before she stepped aside letting me walk in.

Once inside she closed the door and walked in front of me gesturing for me to follow. "Does she know you're coming?"

"Uh…no. I kind of got the info on her staying here from my dad. And I just wanted to check up on her."

"Mmmm, I don't know how she'll react to your company. She's kind of…out of it. She doesn't want anyone messing with her. We know she'll come around soon enough, so we decided it was best to just let her heal on her own, you know?" She said as we turned a corner.

"Yes ma'am. I understand." _But I really don't._

She sighed as we stopped in front of a door. "Well she's in there. Thanks for coming by." She smiled again as she put a soft hand on my shoulder and walked away.

I took a deep breath before I gave a gentle knock. "Isis." I said before I turned the door knob and pushed open the door slowly.

The first thing I saw was Ikenzie sitting on a bed looking through a magazine. "Ikenzie." I called out but she didn't turn around. "Ikenzie." I said a bit louder and she looked up and around the room before her eyes stopped on me.

"Hey where-"

She put her hand up and pointed to her ear.

_What?_

She then pointed to her night stand where a small hearing aid sat.

"Ooooh yeahhh, but you can still hear in one of your ears right?" I said to her as I approached her so she could hear me better and she nodded.

"A little, b,but it's hard t,to understand when people a,are far away or talking quietly."

"Oh I see. How are you?" I asked as I sat on her bed and put my hand to her back.

She shrugged. "I'm actually doing o,okay. Better than my f,family."

"Where are your sisters?"

"I,italy's in the hospital. She j,just had her baby and Isis is over t,there." She pointed across the room where I saw nothing but a ball of clothes and sheets that looked as if to be thrown over there to be washed for later.

"Over where?" I asked turning back to Ikenzie.

"She's r,right there." She pointed at the bundle of laundry again. "She's j,j,just in a ball, her head is under the p,pillow."

I scrunched my eyes and stood up as I slowly approached the laundry. There's no way Isis is over here.

I walked over and saw the bundle and watched it as it moved up and down slowly. "Isis?" I reached over and removed the pillow to see Isis lying with her eyes open. Her hair was pulled back into a ponytail and I hate to be rude, but it looked disgusting, as if she hadn't washed it in forever. She shifted a bit and a nasty stench instantly filled my nose before it became stronger as she lifted her arm and put the pillow back over her face.

_What the hell?_

I turned to Ikenzie. "Why are you guys letting her live like this!?" I yelled so I'm sure Ikenzie heard every word.

She sighed. "W,we tried e,everything. She won't cooperate. So they said t,that t,they will let her g,get through it on h,her own.

"What!? On her own!?"

_These people are crazy!_

I looked back at her before turning back to Ikenzie. "Does she eat!?"

Ikenzie shrugged.

"This is ridiculous." I said to myself as I turned back to Isis.

_I can't believe they are actually letting her live like this…._

I reached over and yanked all her cover off and threw the pillow to the ground. "Isis."

Her eyebrows instantly furrowed. "Please go away." She said in a voice I've never heard before. This voice was full of hurt and pain.

I leaned down and grabbed her and pulled her into a sitting position. "Isis…..I'm going to clean you up okay?"

"Noooo, leave me alone!" She said as she pushed me hard making me lose my balance and fall to my butt.

"See, tt,hats why we l,leave her alone. S,she can g,et aggressive. She h,hit our gr,grandmom. Hard."

"Well if getting beat up gets her cleaned up, then so be it. I'm not letting her sit here like this! I don't understand how you guys can!"

Isis looked up as tears fell from her dark puffy eyes. "Just leave me aloneeeeeee."

"No. C'mon." I said as I grabbed her wrist and pulled her off of the bed to her feet.

"Monica….pleaseee. Leave me alone!"

"I will once I get you cleaned up. I promise."

"Nooooooooo." She let herself go as she fell to her knees once I tried to get her to walk from the room.

"Isis, baby please."

"I can't….just leave me aloneee! Leave me ALONEEEEEEEE!" She screamed at the top of her lungs in a high-pitched tone before she started to sob.

I got down on my knees in front of her before wrapping my arms around her tight before she sobbed into my shoulder hard as her teeth sunk into my skin causing me flinch, but I didn't pull away from her. She needs a shoulder to cry on, none of these people she calls family are trying to do that for her!

My glance landed on Ikenzie who just silently shook her head before turning back to her magazine as if everything was okay.

_Like what the helllllll!? The least you can do is comfort your sister! What's wrong with these people!?_

I sighed before I finally pulled back and held Isis's face in my hands. "Hey look at me."

Her crystal blue eyes finally fell to mine as tears fell from them lightly.

"I just want to get you cleaned up okay?"

"Whyyy? What's the point!?" She yelled.

"Because this is not healthy for you to be like this."

"I'm perfectly healthy!"

"You smell like a dead animal! Your hair looks like matted oily fur! There's no telling when the last time you've eaten or brushed your teeth! I just can't believe your family right now. Where's Cat!?"

"I don't know! I don't careeeeeeeeeeeee!"

I stood up as I grabbed her elbows and pulled her to her feet as well. "I'm getting you cleaned up."

"Whateverrrrrrrrrrr!" She yelled as I dragged her out of that room.

I spotted the bathroom and quickly took her in and closed the door. I walked her over to the toilet and sat her down before turning around to the bathtub and running warm water.

"Now you can do this or I….Isis." I said once I turned around and saw her. I don't know how she did that so fast and quietly, but she now sat on the floor in the same balled up position she was in on her bed just a moment ago.

I knelt down beside her and grabbed her arms pulling her into a sitting position. "Are you going to be okay?"

She looked passed me and shook her head. "I'll never be okay." She turned her gaze to me. "Never."

I reached out and wrapped my arms around her. "I'm so sorry Isis."

She instantly yanked away from me and pushed me away. "I don't want your comfort!...You know what." She said as she stood up. "I'm fine! I can bathe myself! I can take care of myself! I'm not some helpless girl! Fuck everything! Get out of this house! I don't like you Monica I don't know why you're even here!"

"I just wanted to check up on you and help you so-"

"-I don't need your fucking help! I don't need you checking up on me! I'm fine! If I wanted to be clean, I would take a shower! I'm not retarded, I'm not a paraplegic. I can help myself! I don't need you, I don't need them! Now leave me the hell alone you stupid bitch!" She said as she pushed me hard into the wall out of her way so she could exit the bathroom.

I closed my eyes and let a small tear fall before I just nodded to myself and walked down the stairs and out of the house.

_I'm just trying to help. I didn't mean to make things worse for her…._

* * *

**[Cat's POV]**

**KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK**

"Hey Trina it's me, open up!" Beck said as he stood outside of Trina's house with me standing beside him.

The door swung open before Trina threw her hands up. "I didn't mean for you to come right now!" She yelled.

"You said anytime before six."

"Yeah…I didn't mean now! Come on in, I don't think she's ready though." She said opening the door more and that's when she either saw me or decided she would speak to me.

"Oh Cat! Perfect you came." She said as we walked in the house behind her. "I need you to do my nails for me and can you-"

"-Trina. Stop it." Beck said holding is hand up as he used his other one to close the door behind us.

She looked at him confused. "Stop what? I just need her to do my nails."

"She's not doing your nails. Where's November?"

"Um…no one was asking you anyways Beck. Cat what do you think?" She said holding up her nails and smiling. "C'mon just do them how you use to do Jade's…but not so black and scary, but make them-"

"-Trina Vega! Enough!" Beck yelled at her making her take a step back.

"Well...it's actually Trina Vega-Smith, but okay whatever!" Trina said as she walked off to the kitchen.

Beck turned to me. "I'm sorry about her. Are you okay?"

I just nodded. "Where's November's room?"

"Probably upstairs. You want to see if she's ready?"

I just nodded as I walked towards the stairs and slowly walked up.

_~Flashback~_

_"Babe." I heard her voice from upstairs and quickly made a sprint up the stairs to see her walking from our room._

_"Jade! Baby…Oh god…" I cried as I embraced her into a hug in which she hugged me back just as tight._

_"Cat, I'm so sorry! Baby please forgive me." Jade said as she held onto me tight._

_I pulled out of her hug as I looked into her eyes which were full of sorrow and regret and then I broke down even more._

_"Cat…baby what's wrong?" Jade said as she held onto my face. "I'm so sorry that I hurt you. Please don't cry anymore." She said as she started to wipe my tears._

_"Jade….Jadeeee, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry…" I cried in a whisper before capturing her lips to mine in which she kissed back but pulled back first. "No Cat, you have nothing to be sorry about. Everything was my fault, you didn't do anything wrong."_

_I just cried and cried as I put my hands to her shirt and scrunched it up as I put my face to her chest and cried harder than I ever have in my entire life._

_~End flash~_

I closed my eyes tight and shook my head hard trying to shake my thoughts away before I opened them and kept walking.

The first door I came to I gave a small knock but didn't get an answer so I moved to the next one that was half open.

"November?" I called out as I pushed the door open more.

November sat on her knees hunched over holding her stomach as she threw up all over her floor.

I ran over to her and knelt down beside her putting a hand to her back. She didn't seem to notice me as she gagged harder but this time nothing spilled from her mouth. It's as if she were throwing up but her stomach was empty.

After a few moments it as finally over and she sat back and took in gallons of air before she glanced at me. "Cat?"

"Are you okay honey?"

She just nodded weakly as she went to stand up which she struggled to get to her feet so I helped her.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm always sick. It's fine." She said weakly as she took another breath and walked out of her room with me following behind.

We both walked down the stairs and into the livingroom where Beck sat on the couch going through his phone.

"Hey there Novie. Are you ready?" He said as she stood to his feet.

"My…my bag, it's upstairs." She spoke slowly as she took a seat.

"I'll get it, where is it?" He said turning to November who looked as if she were falling to sleep.

"Hey! Novie!" He reached over and shook her leg and she instantly opened her eyes.

"Yes?"

"Are you sure you're okay?" I asked as I walked closer to her and she nodded again. "I just didn't get a lot of sleep the past few days."

"Where's your bag?" Beck asked again.

"It's on my bed."

He nodded as he jogged up the stairs to retrieve her bag.

"Cat, quick I need advice." Trina said as she walked into the living room. "What are the best words to get a guy in bed without sounding fast?"

I scrunched my eyes. "Trina…I don't know."

She sighed and rolled her eyes. "Well of course you wouldn't. I don't know why I'm asking you."

I felt tears start to fill my eyes before I heard Beck running back down the stairs with November's suitcase.

"Hey um…..you got some…stuff on your floor?" Beck said to November who just nodded. "Mom will get it."

"Mom will get what? What stuff?" Trina asked as she crossed her arms.

"She has some throw up on-"

"-Ahhhhhhh November!" Trina yelled. "I told you to go to the toilet with that! Ughh!"

"I'm sorry, I couldn't make it." November said in a quiet sleepy voice.

"Novie just go." Trina said as she grabbed her daughter's arm and pulled her to her feet. "Have a good weekend." She kissed her before walking into the kitchen without a good bye or even the slightest thank you to Beck for doing this for her.

He sighed as he grabbed onto November's bag with one hand and slowly pushed her towards the door with his other since she wasn't moving much.

Once we got to the car he opened the back door for November in which she got in slowly before he closed the door for her.

"She looks really sick Beck. Maybe we should take her to the doctors?"

He shook his head. "Nan….she's always like this. She's been to several doctors, they aren't sure what the problem is. They think it's allergy's."

"Allergies!?" I asked as he opened my door for me and he just nodded.

_Allergies? _

I looked out the review as he put her bag in the trunk and walked over to his side and hopped in.

"Are you ready to go back to the hospital?" He asked as he started the car and I just sighed.

I don't really want to go back….I don't want to do anything. I just want to stay with Beck and ride around in his car with him forever, but that can't happen.

I sighed again. "I guess, yeah."

"When does Italy get to go home?"

"She can go home tomorrow. The baby has to stay for a while."

"What, why?"

"She was premature, only 3 pounds."

"Oh you didn't tell me that." He said with concern in his voice. "Is she okay?"

I nodded. "She's healthy. A strong baby."

"Well that's good."

We rode in silence for a few moments as we made our way to back to the hospital and inside I kept having this strong…urge, a feeling of….attachment. I don't…I really don't want to leave him right now. I want him to stay by my side all night. I want him to hold me and let me cry into him as much as I want. I don't want to separate from him and I don't know why, but I want my comforter to be him. I don't want him to leave…

_Beck please don't make me go!...Cat stop._

"What would you like for dinner tonight November?" Beck asked but didn't get an answer. "She must be sleeping." He shrugged.

I turned around to see her laid out across the back seat but she didn't look as if she were sleeping. Her face was discolored and she laid very steal.

"November." I called out softly as I reached a hand back to her. "November." I gave her a small shake but she didn't respond and fear crept in.

"Beck pull over." He didn't question me, but started to pull the car over as I undid my seat belt and claimed into the back seat and shook her with both hands. "November!"

"What's wrong?" Beck asked as he hopped from the car and opened the back door. "November!" He shook her but still she didn't respond.

I put my finger under her nose as his fingers went to her neck.

"She's not breathing!" I cried out as my heart started to race.

"God….dammit!" Beck yelled out as he slammed the door and jumped back into the driver's seat before flooring off.

I reached my fingers up and put them to her pulse but I couldn't find it….and I couldn't find it because there wasn't one.

I started to sob loudly as I shook her hard as if that would wake her.

"Cat do you know CPR?"

I shook my head. "Noooo." I cried as I wrapped my arms around her limp body and pulled her up to me.

I couldn't stop the tears that fell from my eyes at 50mph as I held her tight telling Beck to get to the hospital as fast as he could as I held a girl in my arms that is medically known as dead.

* * *

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	6. She Deserved to Die

Chapter 6

_She Deserved to Die _

**[Italy's POV]**

I stood in the nursery with my hand through the small hole of Kemistry's incubator. If I could hold her, I know she could fit just right out of the palms of my hands, that's how small she is, but she's so strong. The doctors said she might have to stay a month or two, but that she's healthy and there's nothing super serious that I should really worry about.

"I love you." I whispered as I gently rubbed her small hand with my index finger.

I felt a small hand go to my back before I turned around.

"Congrats girl."

A huge smile spread across my face before I removed my hand from the incubator and threw my arms around her. "Makari! Oh my gosh it's been so long."

She pulled away after placing a small kiss on my cheek. "I know right."

"Why'd you go ghost on me?" I crossed my arms and lifted a brow.

She gave an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry Italy. I've been so busy lately. Congrats on your little one. She's beautiful." She said as she looked down at Kemistry and smiled. "She looks just her dad."

I put my head down. "I…we aren't sure exactly who her dad is yet. We have to get DNA testing done and-"

"-psh…yeah right. What do you mean you don't know? She looks just like him. Look."

I shook my head in disagreement before glancing back down at my angel. I really don't see Kodak in her…how does she?

"I don't see it."

"Italy, honey, baby. Look at her. Look at her hair, her features. That's clearly a black baby. You fucked with any other niggas?"

My mouth dropped. "Makari! That's a bad word!"

She rolled her eyes. "Yeah, to you." She looked back down at Kemistry and then back at me. "That's my brother's child. I already know it." She winked before she left the nursery.

I looked back down at my love as I reached my hand back into the small hole. "It doesn't matter whether you're his biologically or not. He is still your dad and he will always love you. I'm sorry I put you in this situation."

* * *

**[Cat's POV]**

"Cat! Fuck, give her to me!" Beck yelled as he tried to grab November from me but my arms just held her so tight. As much as I told my brain to let her go, my arms wouldn't cooperate. It felt as if there were still a spark in her that is alive and as long as I hold onto her she will be okay, but if I let go it's all over.

"Cat! LET HER GO! SNAP OUT OF IT!"

All of a sudden a felt a slap go across my face and my arms instantly dropped while he scooped November from me fast. "I'm sorry Cat,. C'mon we have to get her inside." He said out of breath and he ran her inside.

Tears filled my eyes as my hand went to my face. It didn't really hurt….he barely hit me, but it was enough to bring me back.

I hopped from his car and ran into the emergency room a little after him to see him staring at two closed double doors and running his hands through his hair while other people in the public waiting room looked on.

"Where is she?"

"They took her...they took her back there." He said to me in an aggravated/ irritated tone as he pointed to the door and then turned around and flopped down in a chair in the corner.

I watched as he ran his hands down his face.

"Excuse me sir. Do you own the mustang in the emergency lane? If so please move it now." A security lady said as she popped some gum.

He put his hand up in apology. "yeah…sorry. I'm sorry." He said as he stood up and walked passed me to his car with me following behind.

He walked around and closed the back door before hopping in the drivers seat with me hopping in the passengers.

He roughly put the car in drive as he sped down the street and into the emergency room garage before taking a sharp turn in a parking space and slamming on the breaks causing me to slide forward and hit the dashboard since I didn't put my seat belt on.

I scooted myself back into my seat as I looked over at him. His head was down and his face turning a dark shade of red.

"B..Beck?"

I watched as he put his hands to his face and started to silently cry. My heart melted. I've never seen Beck cry before, like ever. Not like this.

"Beck…"

"-I'm sorry…I just…man I'm sorry." He said as he used his sleeve to wipe his eyes. He took a deep breath and fixed his clothes as he calmed himself.

"It's okay. You don't have to apologize for anything." I said as I reached over and rubbed his back.

He sighed. "I just…I lost myself for a quick minute. I shouldn't be this way around you." He said as he shook his head before he punched the stirring wheel.

I put my hand back in my lap as I just sat and watched him go through small emotions. It's like he was trying to hold everything in that he wanted to let out, and he was trying so hard.

I was about to speak before I felt his hand reach over to my face as he rubbed my cheek gentle with his thumb. "I didn't hurt you did I? When I hit you?"

I reached up and took his hand in mine. "No. It's okay. I needed that. I was in a daze."

He closed his eyes as he sat back again. "I can't go back in there. What if….what if….how could I tell Trina? How could I tell Tori? Ughh!" He hit the stirring wheel again. "We knew this was coming. Every time she came to visit us it's like she was just getting sicker and sicker." He shook his head. "How the hell will a doctor not know what the fuck is wrong with you!?" He screamed out in anger.

I closed my eyes as I let a tear fall down my face slowly. I don't want to think about her dying. She's not going to die. The doctors are going to fix her right up. They have to. They will. She can't die. She's too young. She's only 12. Kids can't die.

"C'mon." Beck said after a good 5 minutes of us both sitting in silence.

We walked back into the waiting room just as a young nurse approached us. "Are you November's parent's?"

"No, but we brought her here. Where is she?"

"Please come this way."

We both followed the nurse quite a ways from the waiting room to a part of the hospital that really didn't look like a hospital at all but more like a business building that was just connected.

She led us into a room with a long table with another lady sitting at the end.

"November's Case." The nurse that led us in the room stated before she closed the door.

"What the heck is going on?" Beck asked as we both stood by the door.

We both watched as the short fair skinned lady stood up and walked over to greet us.

"Hello Mr…?"

"Oliver."

"Hello Mr. Oliver, I'm Shanice Read. I'm here with The Department of Children's Services. I have a few questions I would like to ask you and…your wife?" She lifted a brow at me.

"..Oh no. I'm just a friend."

"Why, what happened? What's going on?"

"Have a seat." Shanice gestured as Beck grabbed my hand out of the blue and pulled me to sit with him.

"What's going on?" Beck asked for what felt like the 100th time since we got here.

"I want to first ask you if November is her real birth name and if yes, please give me her full name."

"November Vega-Smith, I'm sure."

"How old is she?"

"She's 12. Look, how is she? Is she okay?" Beck asked with aggravation.

"She's stable Mr. Oliver. Do you have custody over November or are you her legal guardians?"

_Isn't that the same question…..?_

"No, her mother is."

"Where is her mother?"

"She's at home. I haven't gotten a chance to call her. Can you tell me what all this is about?"

"Has November ever been brought to the ER before for the same signs and symptoms?"

"I don't know. I'm sure she has. She's always sick. She has been for a few years now and the doctors she's been to said it was just allergies or allergic reactions. What's wrong with her? Why are we in here if she's okay? Tell me what's going on!" Beck yelled in frustration.

She nodded as she sat her pen aside and crossed her hands on the table in front of her. "Mr. Oliver we found urine, rat poison, and bleach in November's blood stream. You told me that she's been sick for quite a while, and that you all were informed by doctors that it was allergies. What I'm seeing here is MBP Mr. Oliver, and not allergies or allergic reaction. And until we can reach her mother and investigate more into this, November will be under our care."

Beck shook his head. "…..What, what is MBP?"

"Munchausen By Proxy, MBP for short, is a relatively rare form of child abuse that involves the exaggeration or fabrication of illnesses or symptoms by a primary caretaker."

Beck was silent for a moment as he put his hand under his chin and took a breath. "So…you're telling me that her mother...is the one making her sick?"

"Until we have further investigation Mr. Oliver, this is just one possibility out of three. Another one being a rare type of disease, which is not possible for urine, rat poison, and bleach to even exist in her blood stream, so that one is almost ruled out. The last being November causing this to herself somehow."

I watched as Beck covered his face as he sighed.

"So what will happen if it's MBP?" I spoke up for the first time breaking the silence in the room, but also really wanting to know the answer to that.

"Well Ms….?"

"..Valentine-West." I stated.

"Well Ms. Valentine West, if MBP happens to be the case, November will be placed in foster care."

"What about her mother?"

"The case will be taken to court and 99 out of 100 she will be arrested."

Beck instantly stood up and ran his hands through his hair as he started at the wall. "Can we see her?" He asked still faced away.

"I will get you back to the ER and you should be able to see her shortly."

I put my head down as small tears started to fall.

_I can't believe this is happening right now._

* * *

**[Kaylee's & Ikenzie's Text]**

_The Next Day_

Kaylee: Hey

Ikenzie: Hello Kaylee.

Kaylee: How are you doing? Are alright?

Ikenzie: I'm fine.

Kaylee: Are you sure?

Ikenzie: Lol, yes.

Kaylee: You know….you don't act as if you just lost your mother? You seem…okay…even happy almost.

Ikenzie: (shrugging emoticon) I…idk, I don't feel sad.

Kaylee: You don't miss your mother?

Ikenzie: Technically she wasn't my mother, but…I mean yeah I miss her I guess….I mean…it just..it doesn't feel like she's gone. I don't feel it.

Kaylee: Ikenzie she was your mother! And so you're in denial?

Ikenzie: No I'm not in denial. I mean I know she's dead and I understand that…I just don't feel sad. I did at first a little but now it's gone. Maybe I just take death okay.

Kaylee: Maybe you're just in denial.

Ikenzie: I'm not in denial! I know she's gone! I accept that.

Kaylee: It just hasn't hit you yet Ikenzie. It will.

Ikenzie: I doubt it. I've done my share of crying. It's over. No point in dreading.

Kaylee: That's really not okay. How is your family? Your mother your sisters?

Ikenzie: They are very upset, especially Isis. She won't even move. Italy seems to be okay, but she has her moments and mom is not even around. She keeps leaving the house and going for "walks". She's been staying with Italy at the hospital as well, but they are coming home today.

Kaylee: Oh yeah, you told me Italy had her baby.

Ikenzie: Yeah….so what are you up to?

Kaylee: Sitting here listening to my mother's dreads.

Ikenzie: What do you mean?

Kaylee: Well unlike Jade's daughter (you), my mother's been crying a lot. She say it all her fault. That she should have never done it. And don't even ask because I don't know what "it" means. She won't tell me, but she's really upset about Jade's passing. She's not taking it well.

Ikenzie: I think everybody should just calm down. Life goes on.

Kaylee: Is this really Ikenzie Valentine-West I'm speaking with? Because you sound so…..selfish and uncaring right now. What's up?

Ikenzie: I don't care.

Kaylee: You don't care that what? That your mom died!?

Ikenzie: To be honest, no. I don't. She hurt my mother all the time. She deserved to die. She's not my mother she's Jade, so stop referring to her as my mother.

Kaylee: What do you mean she hurt your mother?

Ikenzie: (sighing emoticon) I really don't feel like getting into that. Listen, I have to go okay. I'll talk to you some other time.

Kaylee: Yeah okay…I see we have a lot to discuss…..

* * *

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	7. The Worst Week

Chapter 7

_The Worst Week_

**[Beck's POV]**

I sat beside November's hospital bed with Tori sitting in my lap with her head resting on my shoulder.

November's been asleep for the past 16 hours and the doctors keeps telling us how important it is not to wake her up, but I'm losing patience. I just want to wake her and ask her if she's okay. I need to talk to her. Now.

Cat had left as soon as I called Tori to come, but she wasn't far. She was just in a different part of the hospital with her daughter Italy who's supposed to go home from having her baby today.

"I just can't believe this." Tori said as she wiped a tear from her eye. "….I…I would never have thought Trina would….would do something like this." She cried as she held onto me tight.

I rubbed her back gently. "I know babe…I know."

It wasn't until about another hour and a half later that I saw her head start to move causing Tori and I to both sit up instantly.

November scrunched her face up and moved her hand a bit before Tori grabbed onto it. "November." She said softly as her other hand went to stroke her hair.

She kept her eyes closed but turned her head towards us.

"Hey Nov.." I said as I gave her stomach a small pat.

This time she opened her eyes and looked directly at me then to Tori before closing them again.

"Where….am…I?" She asked quietly.

"You're at the hospital baby." Tori said with tears in her eyes as she kept stroking her hair.

"…What…happened…were we…in a car….accident?"

"No Nov. You're here because you're very sick." I said.

She was quiet for a few moments before she spoke up again. "Am…am I about…to die?"

Tori choked up at her question and backed away from the bed a bit letting go of her hand, so I took Tori's place, squeezing her hand softly.

"No…you're not going to die."

"You…don't have to lie…to me. It's okay." She said still with her eyes closed.

I placed my other hand to her face. "Hey look at me."

She opened her eyes slowly and let her glare fall right on me.

"You're not dying. You're not going to die. You're going to get better now. The doctors know what to do." I said before I removed my hand from her face.

She lifted her chin a bit. "They…they found out what's wrong with me?" She asked opening her eyes a little wider.

I just nodded.

"Well….what is it? A…disease? Infection?"

I sighed. _How am I supposed to tell her this…?_

I looked back at Tori who seemed to have gotten herself back together as she stood with one arm across her stomach while the other was under her chin as small tears fell down her face.

I turned back to November who lifted a brow as much as she could waiting for my answer and I have no choice but to tell her the truth.

I reached behind me and grabbed the chair Tori and I were just sharing a moment ago and took a seat closer to her bed as I squeezed her hand again.

"What they found in your system November is…it's not a disease. It's something that has been continuously put into you to keep you sick."

I watched as she scrunched her brows in confusion. "What...do you mean?"

I looked over at Tori as she walked up beside me as she wiped her eyes and stared down at November, but she didn't make any moves to tell her the truth. Of course she wouldn't, I'm always the one to have to do things.

I turned my eyes back to November before putting my head down. "They believe that…your mother has been keeping you sick November."

She scrunched her eyes brows again as she shook her head softly. "No she wasn't…she was…always taking care of me. She...did everything to make…sure I was feeling better. This is a…misunderstanding."

And I wish that was the case. I wish all this was a misunderstanding, but the search and investigation of her house early this morning revealed exactly what Trina has been doing. Every single piece of food that was wrapped up for November to eat contained rat poison. Not to mention 3 gallons of freshly made tea with rat poison in it as well. There were pre-made shots with urine and bleach within each one and not to mention the gasoline that was packed away in a pepper can in the back of the cabinet. I have no idea what she did with the gas but thank God that was not in November's system.

I just don't understand how November could have been so oblivious to all of this. Did she not taste the rat poison in her food? In her drinks? Could she not smell the bleach or urine, or even for that matter have been just a little suspicious as to why her mother was giving her injections in the first place? What the heck did Trina tell her?

I just shook my head at her. "It's not a misunderstanding. I'm sorry November."

I watched as her eyebrows furrowed. "No…my mother would never do anything to harm me Beck."

I sighed as I rubbed her hand. "…Sometimes…we just don't understand something's that people do."

_I don't think those were the right words to say Beck…._

"She didn't do it." She stated more firmly as she took up for her mother.

I just sighed again and nodded. "…They did an investigation this morning November. All your food and medicine were…..contaminated."

"…Well maybe it was just old…it was bad. My mom didn't know it was bad. She doesn't ever read expiration dates. It's not her fault."

"She put rat poison in your food November." Tori blurted out as her voice cracked. "It wasn't a mistake. She was trying to kill you."

"Tori." I turned to her and said through gritted teeth.

_That's not how I planned on telling her the news._

Tori just shook her head and started to cry as she walked out of the room.

I sighed again as I turned back to November who sat staring at me with glossy brown eyes and furrowed brows as she shook her head. "That's not true?" She stated in more of a question form than a statement.

I just squeezed her hand again and nodded. "I'm sorry Novie."

She turned away from me as a single tear fell from her eye. "...But why?"

"…I don't know sweetheart."

"….where is she now?"

I reached over and wiped the tear that was falling down her face. "She's in state custod-"

"-In jail?" She asked quickly after.

I took a breath and let it out. "Yeah. I'm sorry."

More tears started to fall from her eyes as she kept her glare away from me. "What's….what's going to happen to me?"

"How would you like to stay with me and Tori from now on?"

She just nodded as she brought a hand up to wipe her eyes.

"When you leave here, you are going to go to a foster home first, until we can get everything together to adopt you. It won't be for long though okay?"

We both sat in silence for almost a good solid 10 minutes before she slipped her hand from mine and brought them to her face as she sobbed lightly.

"I'm sorry babe. I'm sorry this is happening to you."

"I should have just died."

"Don't say that…"

It wasn't long until a doctor walked into the room to give her a check up in which she cooperated in everything he wanted her to do and answered all of his questions.

It wasn't until the doctor had left and Tori returned that she asked the question.

"….Did she kill my father?"

I looked over at Tori who just put her head down. "I'll let you think that one through." I said softly before she started to cry again.

_This has to be the worst week of my life._

* * *

**[Cat's POV]**

I walked into the guest room where my children are staying with Italy's bags from the hospital.

"Ohh god, what's that smell!?" Italy said as she reached her bed.

"What sme-ohhhh." I said once it filled my nose.

I looked around the room for the source and my eyes fell on Isis's bed. Italy and I both ran over to her and removed her cover to see a filthy Isis laying there wide awake.

"Isis! Get up." Italy yelled out.

Tears filled my eyes as I just took a moment to look her over. She was disgusting and on top if that I think she wet the bed. Why the hell are my parents letting her lay here like this! They told me she was doing okay! If I had of known, I would have come home earlier instead of staying with Italy at the hospital.

"Italy…go rest downstairs okay. I got her." I said softly as she just nodded with concern and walked out of the room.

I turned back to my daughter and got down on my knees in front of her bed so that I was eye to eye with her.

I reached over and gently started to rub her face as she stared past me.

"I know it's hard….and you were right….I don't know the half of what you are feeling." I whispered to her as I kept stroking her face. "But you can't live like this baby. You're going to end up making yourself sick. Is that what you want?"

She barley but surely shrugged her shoulders as she gave a half blink of her eyes.

"No you don't." I removed my hand from her face and reached down to hold onto her hand with both of mine.

"I love you Isis. And it hurts me to see you like this. I know it's hard, but we have to get you cleaned up okay and then we'll seek out some help for you to help you through this. Because this." I gestured to her. "Isn't making things better, it's making things worst." I paused for a moment as I thought about my next words carefully before I spoke them. "What would your mother want…to see you like this? She's still watching over you Isis believe it or not and I don't think she would be very happy with you laying here like this. Do you?"

Her brows furrowed as a tear escaped her eye before she shook her head.

"No. That's right." I said as I reached over and wiped her tear. "Come on and let's get you cleaned up. I'll help you okay?"

She nodded as she sat up on her own and swung her legs from the bed.

I stood to my feet and held my hand out to her in which she grabbed gently before I pulled her to her feet.

We walked slowly to the bathroom and it wasn't long at all that I got her bath going and her into the tub. I washed her up good as she sat in silence the whole time. I finally was done washing her and let the water out before I made her get out of the tub and put her head under the running water so I could wash her hair which took the longest to do.

"Now don't you feel a little better?" I asked her as soon as I was finished getting her dressed and her hair blow dried as she sat on the toilet.

I grabbed a hair scrunchy and was about to pull her hair back into a ponytail before she stopped me.

"What's wrong?" I asked as I leaned over her shoulder to see her face.

"Can you cut it?" She spoke for the first time.

"…Cut your hair? Why?"

"….I want it shorter."

I sighed as I let her hair go to see it fall all the way down her back and stop just above her butt. She always wore her hair long. That's how she liked it but I'm not going to argue with her. If her hair being shorter makes her happier, then that's fine.

I nodded. "I can cut it. Cut it to where?"

"How you used to cut moms."

I felt tears fill my eyes as I just nodded. Isis never wanted her hair to be as short as Jade's. The day Jade asked me to cut it shorter, Isis threw a fit saying how she'll never cut her hair off and that Jade was stupid.

I put a towel down over the floor behind her before opening a couple of drawers to find some scissors.

"Are you sure?"

She just nodded.

I fixed her hair to where I could cut it evenly. It didn't take long at all to cut her hair shorter and once I was done, I even curled it for her.

"All done." I said as I brushed hair off her back. She stood up from the toilet seat and looked in the mirror at her new hair that now stopped just passed her shoulders.

She slowly ran her hand threw it before letting her hand fall and hit the sink as tears filled her eyes.

"Come here." I said with my arms open and she fell right into them before she started to sob. I tried so hard not to sob right along with her, but to stay strong because she needs that. I can't cry with her right now. I have to do that on my own time.

"I'm sorry baby."

She finally settled down before I walked her from the bathroom to the room I was staying in which was my room as a child. I let her lay on my bed while I washed her sheets for her.

Once I returned to my room she was fast asleep.

I walked over to her and gave her a small kiss on her cheek before walking over to my bag that my parents packed for me since I decided I was never going back to that house. "Come on…it has to be here…" I said to myself as I searched hard and deep. "Yes." I said to myself as I pulled out my phone charger from my bag.

I walked over to the window seat in my room that was full of pillows and took a seat before I plugged in my charger.

I reached into my pocket and pulled out my phone hooking it to the charger before reaching over and grabbing my old pink earphones that sat on the windowsill. I use to sit here and just listen to music all day while I watched the beautiful view of the lake from my window. It always was a stress reliever for me.

I turned my phone on before sticking my headphones in the top.

"**You have 23 unread text messages and 12 unheard voice messages. To play your voice messages press one."**

I instead just scrolled through all the missed calls and voice messages to pick and choose because I already knew most of them were just _"I'm sorry for your loss"_ messages.

**Unheard Voice Message (Beck)**

"This was today…" I said to myself as I opened up the message.

"_**Ah, hey Cat. I was just calling to let you know that November woke up just a few ago. She's doing okay. We told her everything. She didn't take it so well…I mean who would? Anyways, just give me a call back when you can."**_

A feeling of relief took over me knowing that November was doing okay. I still can't believe her situation.

**Unheard Voice Message (Trina)**

"_**Really Cat…don't let Beck push you around…if you want to do my nails then-"**_

I quickly hung up on her message as I felt my insides start to boil. I hope Trina rots in hell.

I sighed as I was about to close the messages and just listen to my music before one name caught my attention.

**Unheard Voice Message (Jade)**

I scrunched my eyes as I looked at the date and my heart started beating real fast. I hesitated before opening up the message.

"…_**."**_

I sat there listening hard but I heard nothing but the humming of the back ground and I figured maybe she dialed me by accident and I was about to hang up before I heard her voice.

"…_**.I'm sorry. I'm….I'm so sorry…"**_

* * *

**Thanks for reading!**

**Hey how many of your guys are even still reading this? I feel like I only have like 5 or 6 readers? Is that all?**

**Please review this one time if you are a reader. I would really like to see who my readers are. Thank you.**


	8. Kill Me Now

**Sorry for the long update you guys! I lost internet for a few days while traveling! **

**And also so, so sorry for any typos lately, I've been posting really quick before work not getting a chance to proofread.**

**Anyways here you guys go. Sorry again for so long.**

**Enjoy :)**

* * *

Chapter 8

_Kill Me Now_

**[Italy's POV]**

**New Text Message**

_**Sender: Ikenzie**_

Ikenzie: Granddad said would you like anything?

Italy: Lol like what?

Ikenzie: Idk, you just came home from the hospital. He said do you need anything?

Italy: Awww he's so sweet. But I don't need anything. Tell him I said thank you. Where are you guys?

Ikenzie: Wal-mart. We'll be back soon.

Italy: Okay, tell him thanks again. See you guys soon.

Ikenzie: Kay.

I put my phone aside as I laid back down and continued watching Cops on TV until I heard something unusual.

"Why'd you mute the TV?" My grandmother asked me as I sat up at bit to listen.

"Shhhh." I said as I held up my hand.

I kept quiet for a minute as I listened. "I thought I heard someone-" I got quiet again as I heard the faint screaming of my mother's voice and I know Heather heard it too because she jumped up as quick as I did.

We both sprinted up the stairs where the screaming could be heard full on from my mom's room. We busted through the doors to see her in a ball on the floor sobbing with her phone and headphones discarded to the floor across the room.

I looked over at Isis who was knelt down beside her trying to get her to calm down but it wasn't working.

"What did you do to her!?" Heather yelled at Isis.

She just looked up at us with puffy red eyes as she shook her head. "I woke up to her screaming. I didn't do anything. I don't know what happened."

Heather slightly pushed Isis out of the way as she took her spot beside Cat. "Caterina…baby it's your mother, what happened? It's okay now…"

"-Nooooooooooooooooooooo! Nooooo! It's not! It…..ahhhhh it's…..godddddddd noooooooooo!" My mother cried hard as she kept her face in her knees.

"Look at me." Heather said as she grabbed my mom's face and lifted it to her. Her face was so red. Redder than I've ever seen a humans face before in my entire life. Veins popped from her head and neck and tears fell from her eyes like a waterfall as her body shook and sobbed hard.

"What happened Caterina?"

She cried and cried as she tried to speak. "…I…..the…..she…..she left…..ahhhhh Jadee…..she…pleaseeeee….I'm sor…sorryyy….I'm soooo sorryyyyy…it's….it's all…my..it's all…my faulttt…she….on the….phone….it's…on…on the phoneeee!"

"Baby I can't keep up with you. You have to talk ta little clearer."

"I….I can'ttttt." She cried as she buried her face into Heather's chest and sobbed hard.

I looked over at Isis who silently shook her head and cried. I shook my head before looking over at her discarded phone. She clearly said "phone" so something that's on her phone must have made her this upset.

I quickly ran over and picked it up but it was nothing on it but her home screen. I started to look through her text messages and there wasn't much there to say what set her off.

_What the heck happened?_

I brought her phone back over to her as I tried to get her attention. "Mom…mom I have your phone. What's on your phone that upset you? What happened?"

She immediately sat up as she still cried and snatched the phone away from me hard. "…Nooo don't….you….you don'tt…you can't….you can't hear it….nooo.."

_Hear what….It must be a voice message?_

I tried to get the phone from her but she screamed louder telling me I can't have it. That I can't hear it.

_I can't hear what? _

"Guys get out." Heather said as she look at Isis and then back at me.

"But-"

"-I said get out." She stated firmly again and Isis and I obeyed.

Even from in the hall with the door closed we both could still hear Cat's cries as if we were sitting there right under her.

Isis just stomped down the hall and down the stairs as I sat outside the door.

_What happened mom? What happened?_

* * *

**[Heaven's POV]**

**BANG, BANG, BANG**

"Hey Hev, can you get that!?" My dad, Robbie, called out as I sat on the living room couch flipping through the channels.

_Nothings EVER on!_

"Sure!" I called back as I stood to my feet and jogged over to the door. I looked through the peep hole as I unlocked the door and my eyes widened. "Isis?"

She stood on my porch with tears in her eyes and her arms crossed as if she knew she were defeated for coming to me.

I didn't even ask as I opened the screen door for her and let her walk right in.

"Who is it!?" My dad called from the kitchen.

"My friend! I got it!" I yelled out as I closed the door behind her and motioned for her to follow me to my room.

Once inside I closed the door behind us and the moment I turned around she was in my arms sobbing lightly.

"I'm sorry boo." I said as I stroked her hair.

She quickly got herself together as she stood up straight, fixed her clothes and wiped her eyes as if crying to me was some kind of sin.

"Are you okay?" I asked as I took a seat on the edge of my bed.

She just nodded as she took a seat right next to me. "Ow." She said as she reached under her and pulled out my phone. "Dude why is your phone so damn sharp?"

I giggled. "It's not. I think your butt is just meatless."

She rolled her eyes as she looked down at my phone and frowned. "Isn't this Vick?" She pointed to my home screen.

I sighed as I took the phone from her. "Yes it is."

"Why is he on your background?"

"Because he's my boyfriend. Any more questions?" I lifted a brow as I moved some hair from my face.

"Your boyfriend….okay." She said as she turned away from me.

"Oh don't even start that." I said as I set my phone aside. "Listen I know you didn't come here for past altercations or to talk about my life. You want to talk don't you….about your mom…that's why you're here, right?"

She put her head down as she let out a breath of air. She opened her mouth but was quiet for a little moment before she finally decided to speak. "How'd you do it?"

I didn't even have to ask what she means. I know exactly what she means.

I put my arm around her. "It took a lot of time and healing Isis but I eventually pulled through once I accepted it-"

"-I accepted it Heaven. I do."

"I didn't say you didn't. You interrupted me. Let me finish." I said as I put my arm back in my own lap and sighed. "…It's going to hurt Isis. There's no way around that, I mean there's just no way. You say you accepted it, but how you accept it is the important part. The way you were talking all bitter and being stubborn with me earlier isn't the way to handle things. Missing her funeral isn't the way to accepted it. You're trying to get away from it from what I can see and that's not how you handle that Isis. What have you been doing these past few days?"

She kept her head down as she shrugged. "Laying around, not wanting anything to do with life anymore. I really wanted to just give up. I wanted to…to go with her you know? What's here for me? Nothing Heaven. If I had the guts I'd kill myself too…I…..I just….i can't get her face…it's stuck in my mind…I can't get it out…I saw her Heaven. I saw her." She said as she started to cry.

"….You saw her….?"

"Dead Heaven. Stop. Blood. Her face. I can't forget her face. It was so full of….pain. I could see it even though she wasn't here anymore. I saw it in her eyes. She was so hurt. What did I do to hurt her so bad?"

"You didn't do it Isis. It's not your fault."

"Yes it is." She cried harder.

I brought my hand to her back and started to rub gently. The mindset of "it's my fault" is one that is usually stuck in a mind of someone who's just lost someone very close but she needs to know that it's not her fault, but I can't help her with that. She needs someone serious to talk to. I went through the same thing as a 6 year old and I started talking to a consular daily and everything was okay after a little bit. She just needs that too but I don't want to tell her she needs help. She might take that the wrong way. I can just comfort her the best way that I can and maybe get my dad to talk to her parents about it or something.

"It's not Isis. I know it's hard and you think that. I felt the exact same way babe, trust me. I know how you feel."

She just wiped her eyes as she turned to me and completely changed the subject. "I'm sorry for what I did to you. I didn't….I didn't mean it."

I gave a small smiled as I brought her into a hug. "It's okay now. I don't even care about any of that anymore."

"I hurt you so much and I lied about you so much. I didn't mean any of it. I don't know why I did it. I'm sorry Heaven."

I sighed as I just hugged her tight. I don't know if Isis is just apologizing because she in morning or if she really is genuinely sorry about what she did to me.

She used to hurt me all the time when we dated. She put her hands on me in ways Lord knows she shouldn't of had and I finally got the nerve to leave her and once I did she went to school and told all kinds of lies and rumors about me. She told everyone I was a liar that I was crazy. She told them I cheated on her and broke her heart. She told people not to listen to a word that I said and because people were in tuned to listen to her instead of me, they believed her. After that I was known as the liar, the cheater, the backstabber when I didn't even do shit. It was all her fault. And once Monica came around I tried to save her from Isis because I knew what she was capable of and I didn't want Monica to get hurt; to end up the way that I had. Yeah I messed with Monica's mind…I mean hey that's just me, but either way I was trying to keep her away from Isis and she knew that but she really didn't understand because for some odd reason I was afraid to tell her. That's why I kept beating around the bush. Monica thinks Isis is the sweetest person in the world and blah blah blah. It all started to make me sick because Isis made me sick, but now I'm over it. I forgive her and I'm moving on. I'm done with females anyways. It's nothing but drama with them. Drama and lies.

Isis came here today for this or for her mother? It makes me wonder, because if she just wants to bring the past back up she can leave now. I'm here if she wants to vent about her mother or something and that's it. I'm not her friend, but I still have a heart and I'll be here for her.

"What are you here for?" I asked as I pulled from her hug.

She wiped her eyes and looked at me with wide eyes. "You told me I could come-"

"-Here if you wanted to talk about your mother. I don't want to hear that past crap. Don't ever bring it up again."

She looked down and sighed as she nodded. "I didn't mean bad by it."

I just nodded and tried to bring the real subject back to place. "So what happened that made you come to me today, rather than any other?"

She wiped her eyes again. "Cat….I don't know….I've been having a bad day and Cat just…I don't know, I guess she lost it and I just couldn't be in that house with her anymore. I didn't want to hear it."

"What do you mean she lost it? And didn't want to hear what?" I asked as I turned more to her.

She took a breath before she spoke. "I was sleeping and I just woke up to her screaming and crying. My grandmom and Italy came in and stuff but she was just hysterical. I don't know what happened, maybe she drifted off to sleep and had a bad dream or something, but she was just screaming at the top of her lungs. She was scaring me and I was stressing and I couldn't get my mind clear, I just had to go…so I came here."

I just nodded as I grabbed her hand and rubbed it. "You'll get through it. I promise."

"I just want to kill myself Heaven. I really do. Just kill me now."

"Stop saying that! No you don't."

"Yes I do."

"No you don't!"

"Whatever. I think I'm going to maybe stay at my Great Aunt Riley's for a while or something. I just need to get away from my immediate family for a little while. I need to breathe and figure things out. I just can't see them every day without….without her. It's…it's not the same."

"I know baby. And maybe that's a good idea to stay with your aunt for awhile."

She just nodded as she stood up. "Well…okay whatever. I'll see you around or something."

I nodded and stood as well before embracing her in a hug.

"Thank you Heaven." She said over my shoulder.

I just smiled.

_I hope everything turns out okay for her._

* * *

**Thanks for reading! PLEASE REVIEW!**

**P.S. Do you guys remember Aunt Riley? Jade's Aunt?**


	9. I Love You Too, Always

Chapter 9

_I Love You Too, Always_

**[Cat's POV]**

_**8 Months Later**_

"Cheater!" I laughed as Andre pushed my water gun out of the way so I couldn't hit the dot at a Disney World game stand. I took my water gun and started to spray him with it in which he stood up quickly and sprayed me back with his.

"Hey! Water gun not for play, for game only!" The foreign guy that was woking the counter yelled at us like we were children which made us laugh even harder.

"Return gun now!"

"Okay, okay chill down. We were just having a little fun. Gank." Andre said as he put his gun down with me doing the same.

The guy's face turned red as he grabbed his guns. "You gank! You all gank! You act like child!" The guy pointed and yelled.

Andre and I turned to each other and burst out laughing before hearing our names being called.

"Hey guys over here!" Beck yelled out from another game stand before we ran over to him. "Okay do you guys want to split up or stay together?" He asked as he opened up the Disney World map.

"I'm sure everyone wants to do something different. We can split up." Tori suggested as she looked over Beck's shoulder at the map.

"Ohh I want to go by myself!" Kaylee yelled out.

"Yeah right, in what world?" Monica said before rolling her eyes at her sister.

"In Disney World!" I giggled as I threw up my hands.

"Okay how about this. Everyone form 3 different groups, if you're under 18 get with an adult. Cat, get with an adult." Beck said.

I dropped my mouth. "What's that supposed to mean!?" _I'm clearly an adult!_

"You can come with me and Tori." He said.

I smiled. "Kk!"

Finally everyone picked a group in which we all split up and went were we desired. In our group was me, Tori, Beck, November, Monica and Isis.

Today was so special because for the past 5 months we've been planning a big vacation for everyone and it was so hard to find a week were everyone was off of work and could come, but we made it happen. Everyone let me choose were to go and since I've never been to Disney World and I always wanted to meet Mickey Mouse in person, I chose here.

As of today my kids and I live in a brand new home. It's not a mansion or anything, but it's the perfect size for us. It was a very hard move but we all got through it with the love and support of all our friends and family. Everyone including me is doing so much better. Isis kept on and kept on trying to move from the house and be with her Aunt Riley, and if I have never heard the message, I would have let her. Isis talks to a counselor three times a week and I can see so much more improvement in her. Over the months she still wasn't herself much. She would say random scary things, she would say how she was going to kill herself, she would sleep walk around the house, and she just didn't are about life, but all that has improved since she started her sessions with Carey.

I haven't let anyone hear the message besides my mother and Beck who got it put on a disk. He tells me how I need to let my children hear but, I just can't. I never even listened to it again. I don't think they are ready for something like that. Everyone is on a positive note right now and to bring that up will just bring back more heartache and we don't need that. We are still walking on thin ice right now and it took a while to even get from the deep water. But until we are on solid ground I just can't bring up the message. We are not ready. Not yet.

"No I'm scared!" Monica yelled out as Isis tried to drag her to a roller coaster.

"Don't be a baby. Here I'll hold your hand." Isis said as she grabbed her hand and ran her over to a roller coaster as Beck and November walked over to a game stand close by.

"You want to ride?" Tori asked me as I looked up at the scary monstrous looking ride and shook my head and took a seat on bench outside the ride.

"Can sit beside you?" She asked with her hands crossed in front of her.

I nodded as she took the seat beside me.

It was an awkward moment for the both of us because Tori and I don't really talk much. I mean….we are friends. I learned that….you know it's not her fault. I can't be mad at Tori for what she did because I let her. I could have made her stop, I could. But I didn't. I know Tori didn't mean anything but good, she always has. She never would do anything to hurt me intentionally. It's not her fault, but still we just haven't spoken much since then and when we do it's small talk and it's over.

"So…are you having fun?" She asked as she turned to me.

I sat with my hands in my lap as I played with my thumbs. "Yeah. Are you?" I asked as I turned to her.

She nodded with a smile. "I've only been to Disney World once in my whole life and Trina ruined it for everybody." She rolled her eyes.

I looked up at November who was laughing hard as Beck played around with her trying to step on her feet.

"I still can't believe Trina. How could she do that?" I asked as I kept my eyes on November.

I heard Tori sigh. "November's so much happier now than what she used to be. She's actually going to go to a real school now when it starts back. She hasn't been in a while I'm so mad I didn't catch what was going on so much earlier."

I turned to her to see her looking at November as well with guilt all in her eyes.

"It's not your fault."

She shook her head. "I just can't believe money was more important than her own family."

I looked back down. I couldn't believe it either.

Trina pleaded guilty in attempted murder, child endangerment, and grievous bodily harm to November and she pleaded guilty for first degree murder and grievous bodily harm to her husband. Comes to find out it wasn't Munchausen By Proxy, but she planned out to kill November just so she could collect her insurance money as she did her husband. But everyone was too oblivious to catch it the first time around. She is sentenced to 119 years in prison to life with no bail. But no one lives for 119 years anymore, so that's life anyways.

"I'm sorry Tori."

"I'm sorry Cat."

We both said in unison after few moments of just sitting in silence. We both laughed a bit.

"I shouldn't have blamed everything on you. I shouldn't have put my hands on you the way I did that the funeral. I was just so upset and-"

"-Don't apologize. It's my fault. I shouldn't have took advantage. I never meant to hurt you Cat." She said as I looked up to see pure regret in her eyes.

I sighed as I just shook my head. "I just…I still can't believe she's gone."

She reached over and rubbed my back. "I can't imagine how you feel."

I looked down but I'm not going to cry. I told myself I'm done crying. I have to keep positive and keep looking forward. Everything will be okay.

I looked back up and nodded as Tori brought me into a hug. "I love you Cat."

"I love you too Tori."

"Mom!" I pulled from her hug to see Ikenzie, Kaylee and Angel (Robbie's 13 year old daughter) standing in front of us with smiles.

"Hey, who are you guys with?" Tori asked as she looked around.

Kaylee turned around and pointed at Andre and his wife who held their smaller 6 year old son by his arms as they swung him.

"Where's Italy and Kodak?" I asked as I reached over and picked a piece of grass from her hair along with another.

"They are over there." Kaylee pointed. "All they do is kiss." She said making a scrunched up face.

And fair enough I looked up to see them both walking hand in hand giving each other small kisses not even watching where they were walking. I think they are so cute together and it makes me happy to see my daughter so happy and so in love at such a young age. Kodak is always there for her and his daughter hand and foot. And comes to find out the DNA Test results shows that Kemistry is his baby which made things even better for them. Kemistry is staying with my mom for the week though so they could get a break. She's a very fussy little thing, but she's the most beautiful baby ever. I can tell she's going to be one of those really pretty little girls with an attitude and it's funny because her parents are the complete opposite when it comes to their attitudes.

"Why do you have so much grass in your hair?" I asked Ikenzie as I stood up and picked more out.

"We were wrestling." Kaylee smiled. "I won." She crossed her arms with accomplishment.

"Wrestling? That's not lady like." Tori spoke up as she stood to her feet as well.

"Ok that was the best ride here so far." Isis stated as she ran up to us. I smiled as I turned over to Monica who had a look of terror written all over her face.

"Are you okay?" Tori asked her daughter as she fixed her blown around hair.

She looked at her wide eyed. "Never again." She stated before we all laughed.

Night had come very quickly and we all found ourselves at a huge table at a huge restaurant in Orlando for dinner. The place was packed with people laughing and having a good time with their loved ones.

"Can you pass the salt?" Beck asked as he glanced at the salt that sat right in front of Robbie but Robbie looked at the salt and clearly ignored him as he turned his conversation to his daughters.

I sighed. I hate that everyone here isn't on good terms. Robbie and Beck have been avoiding each other this entire trip and even shared a few arguments. I wanted this to just be a happy thing. Were we all could get together and just have a good care free time. Beck told me not to invite him but lately Robbie and I have been getting caught up with each other and it would have been so rude if I didn't ask him to join us. Everyone has faults at this table so no one has any place to be mad. I just want them to be friends again.

I then turned my glaze over to Kaylee and then over at Heaven and Angel. This whole time I've wondered if Beck will ever just sit down and tell Kaylee the truth. I mean she's figured out things on her own but not everything. And I think it's crazy how she's sitting here at a table with two sisters she doesn't even know she's related to. Her and Heaven have that exact same smile they both must get from their mother and Angel looks just like Robbie. The more I think about it, the smaller our world is getting and the more awkward it started becoming.

After dinner we all sat on a long wall by our hotel and watched fireworks being shot off for no apparent reason whatsoever. It wasn't a Holiday and it wasn't anything special. They were just shooting. Maybe because it's a Friday?

I looked around me to see all the couples within my friends and within strangers sitting round as they pointed to fireworks and sat cuddled up close. Even Robbie cuddled up close with his daughter and even thought I sat in the middle of everyone I was alone. I brought my knees up to my chest and looked at the fireworks as the flashed and popped loud making shapes and words before closing my eyes.

_~Flashback~_

"_What are fireworks made of? What makes them pop into shapes like that?" I asked Jade as we laid on top of my roof one night after she snuck away from her aunt's house for a bit._

_She shrugged. "Bombs."_

"_You really think so?" _

_She wrapped her arm around me and let my head lay on her chest. "No." She said as she let her hand run through my hair. _

_I love nights like these. When it's just Jade and I. She's often bitter but she still has a very sweet side to her and I know it's all for me. She never lets anyone see this side of her not even her boyfriend Beck and I love that. I love these moments with her._

"_Then what do you think Jadey?" I asked as I listened to the sound of her heartbeat beating slowly into my ear._

"_I'm not sure."_

"_I think they're made of love and magic." I said as I reached up and started to play with the end of a necklace that hung from her neck._

"_Where do you get your mind from Cat?"_

"_What do you mean?"_

"_Like where do you get your mind? Why is it so full of fairytales and bright colors and love and sweet sugar and hearts and everything positive?"_

_I giggled. "Just think positive."_

"_I don't know how to do that."_

_I sat up as I threw my leg over her so that I was straddling her hips. I looked down at her to see so much confusion and hurt in her eyes._

"_Just close your eyes and take a deep breath and picture all the good things in life. Love and happiness."_

"_That doesn't exist in my life." She said with her eyes still open._

"_Beck loves you. I love you. All our friends love you. It does exist."_

"_Beck's mad at me."_

"_Just because you two had a fight doesn't mean he doesn't love you. He still loves you Jade. I hate when you say that no one loves you. I love you. I'll always love you and I'll always be here for you. You're my best friend." I said as I rubbed her cheek with the back of my hand._

_She reached up and grabbed my hand in hers before reaching up and cupping my face. _

_It wasn't planned out and it wasn't supposed to happen but it felt so right. It felt so right when my lips touched hers. It felt so right feeling her hands slide down my body and rest in the curve of my back. It felt so right when our tongues met and danced against each others so smoothly, so sweetly. Never in my life have I kissed my best friend in the way I'm doing now. So real, so intimate. Fireworks still pop off behind us as our kiss deepens and last for what feels like an eternity. It was her who finally pulled away before pointing at the fireworks behind me. I turned to see a huge red heart with smaller hearts surrounding it as I smiled and let my head return to her chest._

_~End of Flashback~_

"I love you Jade." I whispered to myself.

I opened my eyes to see a huge red firework in the shape of a heart with the words _'I love you too, always'_ right in the middle but when I blinked it wasn't that at all. It was a big yellow firework with a smiley face inside and I wiped my eyes hard before looking again because what I saw was there.

"You okay Cat?"

I turned to see Andre with a look of concern in his and his wife's eyes as they looked over at me.

I put my knees back down as I nodded before looking at the sky again to see the smiley face starting to disappear.

"I'm fine. Thanks. I think I'm going to turn in for the night." I said as I stood up and brushed off my butt.

"Okay. Good night Cat."

"Night." I said as I walked towards the back entrance the hotel before taking the glass elevator to my room.

Once inside I walked onside to my balcony and just stared into the night sky as the fireworks came to an end and my kids returned to our room.

"Did you guys have fun today?" I asked as I walked back into the room and sat down on the edge of one of the two beds.

They all started speaking at once as I giggled and had to calm them down making them speak one at a time.

"I love you guys. You know that right?" I asked with my arm around Ikenzie as Italy and Isis sat in front of me on the bed.

They all nodded as I gave Ikenzie a kiss on her head. "I'm proud of you girls."

Italy and Isis gave small smiles as I felt Ikenzie tense up under my arm before she removed herself from the bed.

"I'm taking a shower." She said as she gathered her things to do so before heading off to the bathroom.

I sighed as I put my head down.

"She'll be okay." Italy reassured me as she reached over and placed her hand on my knee.

I just nodded. "I know." I said before leaning over and giving her and Isis both kisses and hugs before telling them to get ready for bed as well since we were going back to Disney World again tomorrow since no one completed the park today. Plus I didn't meet Mickey.

Ikenzie doesn't like when anyone talks about Jade. As soon as anyone mentions her name she'll leave the room or block the whole conversation out and it really worries me. It didn't at first because I thought she'd come around. She cried after the accident so I know she's not holding anything in. it's just weird with her. Like she doesn't know how to feel about it now. She's so happy about once again gaining her ability to talk normal back and she makes me take her to the doctor almost twice a week to make sure she's doing okay so this won't happen again. I keep making a mental note to sit and talk with her but I haven't gotten around to it yet. But I will sooner rather than later, but this week I just want to let everything go. I'm going to have fun. I've left all worries at home but sure enough I'll have to return to them very soon.

_I just wish I didn't have too._

* * *

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	10. Stoned

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* * *

Chapter 10

Stoned

**[Monica's & Isis's]**

Monica: Hey.

Isis: ….hi?

Monica: Sorry are you sleeping?

Isis: Oh no, I was just laying in my bed here with my eyes closed and dreaming about today at 1:09am in the morning, but no I wasn't sleeping or anything.

Monica: Shut up lol. I'm sorry I didn't mean to wake you.

Isis: What is it?

Monica: ….are you still mad at me?

Isis: You woke me up for this?

Monica: No, no I'm sorry. You can go back to sleep.

Isis: I'm awake now. And yes, I'm still mad at you.

Monica: I'm sorry (frowning emoticon) You were so nice to me today though, I thought maybe you had forgotten about it.

Isis: Um nope, I don't forget things.

Monica: So how can I just make things up to you?

Isis: You can't. Damage has been done.

Monica: But I really didn't mean any of that. I guess I was too blind to see what I had in front of me. I never meant to hurt you. They say you don't know what you have until it's gone, and I 100% see that now…

Isis: What'd you lose? A teddy bear?

Monica: No! You!

Isis: You lost me? Where?

Monica: Isis, stop playing. I'm serious.

Isis: Shit I am too, I'm trying to figure out where you lost me?

Monica: That day in the park.

Isis: **Well go find me there.**

Monica: Why is your text in bold? And when will you be unmad at me?

Isis: You misspelled "unmad"….

Monica: I did? How do you spell it?

Isis: (face palming emoticon) Well geez Monica, I'm not sure.

Monica: But you said I spelled it wrong?

Isis: Who are you Cat? Stop acting like a retard, it's not a real word!

Monica: I know that! (laughing emoticon) I was playing with you. And did you just call Cat retarded?

Isis: Yes, yes I did.

Monica: That's not nice! How can you call your mom retarded! She's not!

Isis: Monica, baby, boo, honey…she's retarded. Like seriously messed up. You guys never see that part of her. I swear, she has her days and times.

Monica: She says off things every now and then, but she's not retarded! She's so funny and adorable!

Isis: Ew….This morning at Disney she kept tripping and Andre told her maybe she needed to tie her shoes so she agreed and bent down to tie them for a good 60 seconds.

Monica: …..okayyyy?

Isis: She was wearing flip flops Monica. (straight face emoticon)

Monica: LMAO! (laughing emoticon) OH MY GOD I LOVE CAT! Hahaha

Isis: Okay it wasn't that funny…

Monica: That's because that's your mom, you see her everyday and you see her behavior all the time. Cat is the most hilarious and sweetest person I've ever met. You're lucky.

Isis: Psh, yeah right. You're lucky. You have the normal parents.

Monica: Not even. You wouldn't last a day.

Isis: I wouldn't last a day with your stuck up, perfect parents?

Monica: They aren't stuck up! And I doubt it.

Isis: Do I sense a challenge?

Monica: ….uah…what kind of challenge?

Isis: We could go Parent Trap for a week.

Monica: Really? I don't think they'd allow that….my mom especially wouldn't.

Isis: She'll get over it. We should do it. I want to see how Ms. Perfect Monica lives her life.

Monica: Alright fine. You go home with my mom and I'll go home with yours.

(5 minutes no reply)

Monica: Hellooo?

Isis: Oh, sorry. Okay fine. I'm going to sleep now. Goodnight.

Monica: Night.

* * *

**[Cat's POV]**

**KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK**

I put my book down as I turned to look at the glass door that led to my balcony before I giggled to myself. "Well you've somehow already made it inside my room without knocking. Why knock on the balcony door? Come on out." I gestured before pointing to the chair on the other end of the black glass table that I sat at.

He walked out slowly and slid the door closed behind him before taking a seat. "Have you enjoyed this week Cat?" He asked as he sat back and played with a piece of decoration on the table.

I smiled and sighed, but it was a relaxed sigh. "Yes, it's been so great. Thank you so much Beck for helping put everything together. Everyone seemed to have a wonderful time."

"But you had a wonderful time too, right?" He lifted a brow.

I nodded. "Of course I did. I haven't been on a vacation like this since I was a little girl. It's been so great. It sucks that it ends tomorrow though." I frowned.

He reached over and grabbed my hand pulling it across the table to him. He looked down as he rubbed it gently before bringing his gaze back to me. "When will you let them hear it?"

I sighed and took my hand from him. "Beck…"

"-I know you don't want to talk about it right now, but maybe this is the best time. Everyone is relaxed and at ease. At home it's still tense for you guys I know it. Maybe if you let them hear it while we are here, it won't be so hard. Cat it's been almost 9 months."

I looked down and sighed. "I know how long it's been but It's going to be hard no matter what Beck."

"I know that, but maybe it's just a better idea."

I looked away from him as I played around with my hands. "Ikenzie isn't ready."

"You still haven't talked to her?" He sat up crossing his hands on the table.

"No. I've just been putting it off. I'm going to as soon as we get home."

"Again, maybe it's better if you talk to her here where everything is calm, and there's a good vibe."

"Why would I do that? So I can ruin their vacation? Ruin everyone's vacation by bringing up the tape? No. I can't." I said as I turned away from him.

He sighed as he ran his hand threw his hair. "Well Cat it's up to you. I can't tell you how to handle your situation, but I'm telling you I really think it's a better idea to let them hear the recording and for you all to talk about it and grieve together here rather than waiting until you all go home. Because if you do it here, once you get home you have nothing but positive things to look forward to. You won't have to worry about that, it will be out of the way and everybody can continue to heal." He stood up and put his hands in his pocket. "I'm telling you if you take that back home with you, it's going to be on your mind everyday and every night and it's going to get harder and harder and you'll keep putting it off like you have been for the past 8 months. Just let it go and do it Cat. They should really hear that recording so they will understand things from Jade's point of view and not what you're just telling them. It's really important that they hear and understand that." He stared at me for a moment before he removed his hands from his pocket and slid open the glass door. "I don't think Jade recorded that and had their names in it for nothing. She obviously wanted them to know." He said before slipping through the glass and disappearing.

I sighed.

"He's right." I said to myself before grabbing my book and walking into my room. I got down on my knees and grabbed my suitcase from under my bed before digging through it and pulling out the disk I always keep with me. I don't know why I carry it around, but I do.

I walked over to a boom box that is already equipped in the room before turning it on and sliding the disk into place before turning the volume down to the last notch and pushing play.

Once I heard her voice I sat down on the edge of my bed and closed my eyes as I listened softly to her last words epically the ones to me….

"_I'm sorry Caterina Valentine. My love, my life, my everything. You were always, and I mean always there for me since I was only 5 years old. You always took care of me, you always kept your promises, I always trusted you. You held me when no one else would, you loved me when no one else would, you made me smile when no one else could and I'm sorry for putting my hands on you that day. I'm sorry for hurting you over and over again. I'm sorry for taking your innocence in a way that I shouldn't have. I'm sorry for forcing you to love me and forcing you to become my wife. I'm sorry for promising you so many things that I never kept a promise. I'm sorry for making you feel any type of way that wasn't happy and beautiful because you are beautiful Cat. You are everything to me….but….how could you? I was so close to getting help, I was going to change Cat I was. You promised you'd never cheat on me, you promised you never leave me and now look at you? How could you do this to me? You held everything for me that I couldn't hold myself. Even though I've told you I don't trust you you know that I do. You know that I did. I put all my trust and hope in you because I knew you were different. You genuinely loved me Cat and no one else in this world did. I know I've treated you wrong but I just…I couldn't stop it, and I couldn't help it. I finally realized that I need help and I got it. I was so ready to be the wife to you that I know you've always wanted, but I guess I waited too late. You promised you'd wait for me no matter how long it took Cat, but you lied. You lied like the rest of them. You are one of them. And I'm sorry that I couldn't trust you, I'm sorry you let me down. I'm sorry for letting you down."_

I cover my eyes as small tears fell down my face. It still hurts to hear them, but it's nothing like it was the very first time. Maybe it's because I've braced myself this time. I know what it is.

Finally the disk came to an end and even though Beck edited out all the parts where she was talking about having the gun, her very last words, and the shot it was still the most horrific thing to hear. How will my children react to this? Maybe they shouldn't hear this. What does Beck know? Ugh…..maybe he's right, maybe Jade did want them to hear. She wouldn't have apologized to them if she didn't right? But I don't want them to hear. I don't.

I sighed again.

_It's not about what you want Cat. Jade recorded this for a reason. Her kids need to hear._

I finally agreed with myself before wiping my tears and standing up.

_This is going to be another one of the hardest things I've ever had to sit through._

* * *

**[Ikenzie's & Cat's Text]**

Cat: Hey where are you? I can't find you guys anywhere?

Ikenzie: Oh we are out.

Cat: What do you mean out? Out where?

Ikenzie: Who wants to know?

Cat:….I do?

Ikenzie: We are with Mr. Harris.

Cat: Mr. Harris? Andre?

Ikenzie: Well do you know any more Mr. Harris's around here Ms. Valentine-West?

Cat: Ikenzie?

Ikenzie: Yes?

Cat: What's wrong with you?

Ikenzie: Nothing is wrong with me.

Cat: Why didn't he tell me he was taking you guys? Where are you?

Ikenzie: I'm in the lobby.

Cat: What? You just said you were out with Andre?

Ikenzie: Mr. Harris?

Cat: Ikenzie, that's enough.

Ikenzie: Enough of what?

Cat: I'm coming to find you. Stay where you are.

Ikenzie: I just feel so gooddddd

Cat: What are you talking about?

Ikenzie: Me. I feel nice.

Cat: What do you mean?

Ikenzie: (shrugging emoticon) (laughing emoticon) (heart emoticon)

* * *

**[Cat's POV]**

I immediately shoved my phone in my pocket before bursting from our room and heading straight for the lobby literally running into Andre on the way.

"Whoa watch out Little Red…or Little Brown now." Andre chuckled as he tugged my hair that I hadn't re-dyed red so most of it had turned back into its natural brunette color.

"Have you seen Ikenzie? She kept saying she was with you?" I said as I held onto him for no apparent reason.

"Yeah she was with us a while ago. We went to go get ice-cream across the street. Was that okay?"

"That's fine Andre, where is she now?" I asked stepping away from him.

"I'm not sure, that was almost an hour ago. I haven't seen her since."

I just nodded as I turned around and headed toward the elevator and headed right to the lobby.

"Ikenzie!?" I yelled out once I got down there. There were so many people, I don't know how in the world I was supposed to-

"Ms. Valentine!"

I scrunched my eyes and turned around to see Ikenzie with scrunched eyes and a huge smile.

"Ikenzie?"

"Dude…there are like the coolest people here I'm tellin' you." She said as she walked closer to me and my nose filled with the horrible scent.

I just stood staring at her. _There's no way…._

"Hey Cat! Ugh finally I've been looking everywhere for you! Can I please have $20 so I can ride on…." Isis stopped talking as she looked over at Ikenzie. "Damn you looked stoned!" She laughed. "What happened to you?"

I just shook my head as tears filled my eyes.

_She only looks stoned, because she is stoned…._

* * *

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	11. Tori the Monster

Chapter 11

_Tori the Monster _

**[Cat's POV]**

I grabbed Ikenzie by her collar hard before dragging her to the elevator and up to our room with Isis on our feet the entire time.

Once we got to the room I opened the door and pushed Isis's out before slamming the door in her face.

"Oh okay, that's how it is? I'll remember that one!" She yelled from outside the door, but I didn't care. I don't need Isis's distractions right now.

I threw Ikenzie on the bed as I stood in front of her with my arms crossed and my eyes narrowed. I'm not sure how intimidating I look, but I hope I can scare her at least enough for her to talk to me.

"What the hell Ikenzie!?" I yelled as I threw my hands up.

She smiled as she sat up on the bed. "Why are you so angry?"

"Ohhh I don't Ikenzie! Maybe I can start with how my 13 year old daughter is sitting here in front of me with a system full of weed!"

She shook her head as she kept her smile. "Heyyy bring it down a few notches." She gestured with her hands. "It's going to be OKAYYYY." She giggled.

"Ikenzie where did you get the drugs?"

I watched as she lost her smile and looked passed me and kept her gaze there for what seemed like an eternity.

"Ikenzie!" I stomped a foot.

"What's up?" She said turning her gaze to me and lifting a brow.

"Answer my question!"

"Look I told you butterflies don't have wings." She said in an Italian accent before she started to giggle. "I totally got you!" She said as she started laughing hysterically. "You thought I was an Italian man! I got you, I got you haha. Yes!"

I just stared at her as I shook my head. Jade used to smoke when we were younger, she didn't act like this.

"Ikenzie. Where did you get the drugs? Who gave them to you?" I tried one last time.

"I'll tell you who gave them to me. I'll tell you where to find them too." She said as she stood up and walked behind me toward the balcony.

She quickly spun around to me before she busted out singing.

"If there's a place you gotta go, I'm the one you need to know, I'm the map…I'm the map, I'm the map, if there's a place you gotta get, I can get you there I bet, I'm the MAP! Haha fuck GPS's!" She said before she hit the floor laughing so hard she was crying.

_This is useless._

"Ikenzie go to bed!" I yelled at her before walking to the exit of our room. "I swear if I catch you out of this room you'll never see another room again."

_Okay I know my threats suck._

She stood up as she lifted a brow. "Ohh we're giving Jade threats now huh? Ohh I got one!" She said flicking hair from her face. "Tell anyone Ikenzie, and I'll kill her!" She said in Jade's voice before she started laughing again. "You know Jade was ridiculous! She said she was going to kill you….but then she killed herself! Haaaa! Hilarious right!?" She said while laughing as few tears escaped her eyes.

I wasn't sure if she was laughing until she cried or if she was actually crying. And what does that mean? Did Jade actually say that? What is she talking about?

I stepped away from the door and into the room more as I looked at her sideways. "Jade said that?"

She rolled her eyes and waved me off. "I don't know what Jade said. I'm…me, I'm me, I'mmm going to take a nap. Okay? Gooood night." She giggled to herself before just dropping down on the bed her and I share. I just stood there staring at her and it wasn't long at all until she was out like a light.

I sighed as I ran my hands threw my hair and exited the room to Isis almost falling on me from having her ear on the door.

"I...was just… you see…did you know that….What had happen was…. you could…if you put your ear to a door you could…."

"-Isis…you're a horrible liar." Was all I said before I walked down the hall and to Tori's room. I just need someone to hang out with. I'm tired of thinking and as long as something or someone is occupying your mind, you never have to think.

"Hey there Cat."

I turned around to see Beck approaching from behind me and I gave a side smile. "Hey."

"Where are you headed?" He asked as we walked side by side.

"To you guys' room actually. I wanted to hang with Tori."

"You okay?"

I just nodded as I put my head down.

"Did they hear the recording?"

I shook my head. "I went to go find them and I go downstairs to see Ikenzie stoned."

"What!?"

"Yes Beck. I don't even know where she got it from!" I said as we stopped in front of their room door.

He turned to face me. "That's crazy, but there are a lot of crazy teenagers here as well. Somebody probably offered her some and she took it."

I just shook my head. "That's not like Ikenzie Beck. Somebody had to force her. I know my daughter. She wouldn't just go out and do something like that."

He sighed before putting his hands in his pockets. "Do you think maybe it has something to do with Jade?"

I looked up at him and shook my head. "I really don't know."

"I don't see why else she would do something like that then. You told me she's been acting funny. What other reason is there?"

"There isn't one."

"Talk to her." He said before he removed his hands from his pockets and opened his room door.

I walked in behind him to see Tori on the phone on her balcony walking back and forth laughing as Beck grabbed some towels. "Hey we are going to head to the beach. Do you want to come along?"

"But it's about to be night?"

He laughed. "It's called lights Cat. They do exist on the beach. I hear there's a party tonight. Andre and I are about to head out. You should come?"

I just shook my head as I walked over to a bed and took a seat. "I'm not in the mood."

"Do you want company? Will you be okay?" He looked at me with concern.

"Oh I'll be fine. You guys go have fun. I'll just talk to Tori."

"You really should come to the party and just have fun."

"I'm really not in the mood Beck." I said as I scooted further onto the bed.

"Suit yourself." He shrugged as he walked into the bathroom.

I sighed as I turned my attention to Tori who was still laughing loudly into her phone still unaware of our presence.

"Yeah, yeah I know. I think this vacation is good for all of us, you know especially her. She's been through a lot. I'm sure Jade had never done anything like this for her….yeah…"

_Wait…is she talking about me?_

"….I know, right….I can't believe it either..."

I heard the bathroom door open and Beck walked in and said something but I completely ignored him since my attention was full on whatever Tori was talking about.

"I mean how could you put your hands on someone like that? And Cat is so stupid for staying with her, well she's been on the not so bright side anyways, but really? All this could have been prevented if she never let Jade take advantage. I mean Jade practically had her eating out of her hands in high school…..right…"

_What!?_

"…I know….its stupid. To be honest I'm glad she's dead. I never liked Jade. She should have killed herself years ago and she would have saved everyone heartache. She was so cruel and mean to people all the time….I know!... I mean she deserved to die. I hope she died a painful death…..rightt! She should've used scissors….I wouldn't have been surprised she was a psychotic freak. I hope she's burning in hell right now." She laughed.

Hot tears ran down my face as a huge gasp came from me causing Tori to spin around and look directly at me.

Her face turned into one of guilt and terror before she hung up her phone and let her expression turn into an apologetic one. "Cat…I didn't mean-"

I forcefully stood to my feet before knocking everything off their Tv entertainment center and stomping into the hallway.

"Are you fucking crazy!?" I heard Beck scream at Tori as I started to run down the hall with my heart pounding.

The hottest tears escaped my eyes and I knew they were burning my skin as I heard Beck calling after me before I turned a corner and ran into a hallway bathroom and stopped at the first stall. I fell to my knees as everything I've eaten for I'm not sure how long poured from my mouth and into the toilet.

"Are you okay ma'am?" I heard an unknown voice call from behind but I yelled at her from the top of my lungs to go away before I turned around and closed my stall. I sat on the floor with my knees to my chest as I cried hard into my knees.

"Mom! Open the door!" I heard Isis yell as she banged on the outside. "What happened!?"

I just cried more as I ignored her.

I can't believe Tori. How could she say something like that!? Who is she!? Who is this Tori!? She's not the same as she used to be! She's cruel! She's so cruel! She's nothing but a monster! I don't want to have anything else to do with her!

"Ugh I hate you Tori!" I scream out loud as I kicked the wall in front of me. She doesn't know anything! She doesn't know half of what Jade's been through! And she's judging herrr! She can't do that! She can't judge someone she doesn't even know! And who was she talking with!? Who was agreeing with her!? Who!?

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"

_I wish I could just disappear and never come back!_

* * *

**[Beck's POV]**

My insides started to boil as I ran back to our room and slammed the door behind me. Never in my life have I been so mad.

"What on earth were you thinking!?" I screamed at my wife as I walked close to her.

She shook her head as tears filled her eyes. "I…I didn't know she was in here-"

"-THAT'S NOT THE FUCKING POINT!" I said as I pushed her against a wall.

"Beck.." She cried in terror as I blocked her from running away from me.

"What were you thinking Tori!? Is that what you really think!? Is that how you really feel!?"

She just cried as she put her head down.

"Answer me dammit!" I said as I hit the wall behind her.

"I..I don't know Beck! Get away from me!" She said as she pushed me hard but I didn't budge.

I shook my head as I backed away. "Tori Vega….I married Tori Vega…who are _you_?"

"What do you mean?"

I shook my head. "You're nothing like you were in high school Tori. You were so kind, so sweet and loving, and I liked that about you, but today what are you? Selfish, cruel, you only care and think about what's good for you, you don't think about the consequences for other people for tomorrow. As long as you're okay, it doesn't matter. You don't care about Cat Tori, admit that!"

"I do care about her!"

"Oh yeah? When's the last time you called her up and asked her how she was doing? Since you care about her so much, how is she?"

She shook her head. "She doesn't call me either!" She tried to change things to her.

"She shouldn't have to! She's just lost her wife, her best friend! She's struggling! Her and her kids are having the hardest time! Do you know what she's going through!? No you don't because you don't care Tori! You should be there for her! You claim to be her friend! So why aren't you there?"

"Oh so I'm the bad person!? You don't know anymore than I do!?"

I laughed. "Me! I don't! I don't know anything?" I pointed to myself in disbelief. "I've spent more time with Cat the past 9 months than you have the past 10 years! I helped her and her family move! I constantly ask how she's doing all the time! I make sure she's okay, I make sure she has everything she needs, I-"

"-Oh you do all that shit for Cat but you can't do that for me!? Sounds like something." She crossed her arms and lifted a brow.

"Oh don't you even turn this conversation to that! Cat's my friend Tori! I'm genuinely her friend, not some fake bitch friend that you put out to be. Cat trusts you Tori. You always let her down!"

She put her hands up. "Wait…did you just call me a fake bitch?"

"Yes, yes I did Tori, because that's what you are!"

She shook her head. "You know what Beck. Fuck you, fuck this, fuck Cat, fuck Jade, fuck your little daughter, fuck IT! I'm done. I'm sick of you." She said as she pushed passed me but I grabbed her arm and spun her around.

"YOU'RE SICK OF ME!? I'm so fucking sick of YOU!" I said letting her go, pushing her slightly.

She rubbed her arm before she pointed a finger at me. "Well yeah I can see that since you spend all your free time with Cat. You like her don't you? You fuck her right? When I'm not around?"

I took a huge breath as I covered my face. _What the hell is she thinking!?_

"WHAT? No! Ugh! Tori you get on my fucking nerves with that! See that's another thing! You always think that I'm cheating on you when I never do! I've never cheated on you!"

"Yes you have! Stop saying you haven't!"

"THAT WASN'T MY FAULT! I'M NOT GOING TO EXPLAIN THAT AGAIN!"

"It was your fault! A bitch can't rape a man! You let her!

"I HAD NO CONTROL!"

"Whatever…I don't care and you want to know why? While you've been messing around with Cat I've been messing around too. So we're even." She crossed her arms again.

"What are you talking about you've messed around? And I never messed with Cat!"

"Oh whatever Beck. You were a cheater in high school, and you're still a cheater now. I'm not stupid. I know you two been fucking."

"No we haven't! Can you get that through your stupid head!"

"Whatever beck!"

"And what do you mean you've been messing around?"

She sat on the edge of the bed as she picked her nails. "You've messed around with Cat and Melissa and I've messed around Ryder."

"Excuse what?"

She stopped picking her nails as she crossed her arms and looked at me with a smirk. "Now we're even."

I laughed as I ran my fingers through my hair. "Seriously Tori?"

"Yes."

I just shook my head as I walked over and grabbed my towel and things I needed for the beach before walking over to the door.

"I've never cheated on you Tori. And you know that. We're done. I want a divorce." I said before walking out of the room with a slam of the door behind me.

* * *

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	12. We Don't Always Get What We Wish For

Chapter 12

_We Don't Always Get What We Wish For_

**[Kaylee's POV]**

_**2 Days Later**_

I sat in the living room with my hands in my face crying as Monica tried to comfort me. "Everything is going to be okay Kaylee." She said as she rubbed my back, but she sounds like she's full of lies. What does she know? She gets to choose where she stays. I can't.

Just then I heard the footsteps of my dad running down the stairs with lighter footsteps behind him before they both went outside with the baggage he carried in both hands.

"Why won't you stay here?" I cried to Monica as she held onto me.

"I am. I'll be here and there. I can't leave mom alone."

They both walked back into the house with mad expressions and sweat on their faces from the hot day and all the loading they were doing to Tori's car.

"There, you're packed." My dad said as he reached over and grabbed my mom's keys. He roughly took a key off her keychain before handing them back to her.

"Really? The house key?" She crossed her arms.

"Why would you need the key to my house?" He asked before he turned to Monica. "Do you have everything? You guys are about to go." Monica nodded as she stood up and since I hung onto her I stood as well.

"Kaylee let go. I'll be back in a few days." Monica said as she ran her hand through my hair. "You'll be okay, it's not that big of a deal. It happens everyday."

_But why to me!?_

I just cried as I let go of Monica and ran over to Tori and wrapped my arms around her tight. "Don't leave me mom."

She gave a huge aggravated sigh. "I'm not your mother." She stated coldly as she pried me off of her.

Even though dad sat down and explained everything to me just the other day about Tori not being my real mother, I still can't say she's not. Of course it wasn't a shocker to me because I already knew the half of it, but….she's…she's still my mother you know? She's always been here even if she's been a little mean. I've always called her mom. She's the one that brought me up. She's my mother and she's leaving me! How can she leave me and not care. She won't even let me come visit!

"Tori please!" I cried as I grabbed onto her hand tight but she freed herself from me.

I cried hard as I felt strong arms pick me up and hold me tight. It's been a long time since dad has picked me up. I might be a little too old but I'm not too big to fit right in his arms and I'm glad I can because I don't know what I'd do right now without his loving arms. "Don't worry about Tori Kaylee, she's not worth it." Dad whispered to me in my ear to where only I could hear, but it just made me cry harder as I rested my head on his shoulder.

She is worth it. She's my mom! I've never noticed how much I actually do care about her until the day she's walking out of my life. All those times I said I hated her I wish I could take them back! I don't hate her, I love my mom! I love her and I don't want her to go!

_My mother is leaving me,_ that's the only thing that is plastered in my mind right now and to top it off Monica is going with her. Dad and Tori kept arguing about who she should stay with and end up letting Monica decide, and she chose just to go back and forth to wherever Tori is staying and here even though Tori will have full custody of her which is another thing they argued about all night.

I watched in my dad's arms as they both got into Tori's packet car, started it up and pulled away without even a second glance for Tori and I couldn't stop the tears from flowing.

"Kaylee it's going to be okay."

Ughhh no it's not! My mother just left me, what does he not understand about that!? It's not going to be okay! She hates me! She doesn't even care how hurt I am that she's just leaving like this and doesn't give a shit about me! All she cares about is Monica and I understand why, but did she never not love me the way I loved her as a mother? Did she not love me as her daughter? Ever!? I mean ever!? Not even a little bit to be a little sad!? To miss me?

"How about we go to your favorite restaurant tonight and maybe catch a movie? Ice-cream for dessert?" He asked as he put me back to my feet.

"No! What's that going to do!? No treat in the world can take the place of my mom! It's not going to make me feel any better! She doesn't even care Dad! She doesn't even care!" I scream before pushing him hard and sprint to my room.

I screamed out as I started to tear things off my walls and kick anything I could over before just hitting the floor and crying with my knees to my chest.

I just want my mom. This is all my fault. If I had of been nicer she would have stayed. She wouldn't have left me. I should have just left her alone when she asked, but instead I was too selfish and begged and begged her to play with me or watch TV with me. I got on her last nerves to the point where she doesn't even love me at all and she wanted to get away from me and never see me again. I didn't mean it. And now it's too late to apologize because she won't listen! It's too late because she's already gone!

I jumped up and into my bed as my face went to my pillow to muffle my loud cries.

_I'm so sorry mom, please come back….._

* * *

**[Monica's & Isis's Text]**

Isis: What are you doing?

Monica: Getting things settled in our new apartment. You?

Isis: Playing with Cat's hair.

Monica: Lol what? Why?

Isis: Her head is laying in my lap…why not?

Monica: Why is her head on your lap? Lol

Isis: Idk, ask her. She watching TV.

Monica: Oh Ok lol

Isis: Why do you have to say "lol" after every text? That's annoying, especially since I know for a fact you aren't really laughing out loud.

Monica: lmao!

Isis: I hate that.

Monica: Of course you hate everything.

Isis: I'm coming to help you set up at your new place.

Monica: Alright, c'mon. Need the address?

Isis: No I'll just figure it out on my own. (straight face emoticon)

Monica: Lol shut up. 829 Farth Ave. South Apartment 7.

Isis: SIke, you really thought I was going to waste my time helping you put your teddy bears and toys away?

Monica: I don't have toys! And yes I did! You offered!

Isis: You sure you don't have any toys…(looking up emoticon)

Monica: No lol.

Monica: OH NO! omg you're such a freak!

Isis: Yeah, so what if I am?

Monica: No reply.

Isis: You just replied.

Monica: No comment.

Isis: Whatever. I'm about to go to a session and then I'll come by. Let's hang out tonight?

Monica: Sure. Where?

Isis: Wherever I say.

Monica:…..You're pretty bossy don't you think?

Isis: No….not at all. Actually I think you're the bossy one.

Monica: Whatever haha. See you when you get here. (smiling emoticon)

* * *

**[Carey's & Isis's Session]**

Carey: …Did you have a great vacation?

Isis: It was cool, I mean…nothing spectacular.

Carey: (laughing) But you had fun right? I know you did.

Isis: Yeah, I had fun.

Carey: How did you feel about the family getting together and spending time like this?

Isis: It felt nice. It's been a long time since we could all just get together and laugh, so I enjoyed that.

Carey: How did it feel to be with your whole family without your mother being around?

Isis: (looked down and sighed) It was hard and it hurt I admit that, but I didn't let anyone see me hurt.

Carey: Why didn't you want anyone to see you?

Isis: (looks back up) Because it would have brought everyone down. It was supposed to be a fun thing to get our minds off of it and for me to be all sad the whole time would have just screwed things up you know?

Carey: (nods) I completely understand. Do you think your sisters and Cat had a good time?

Isis: Yeah they seemed….well…

Carey: What is it?

Isis: Ikenzie got all weird and she smoked some weed and got stoned.

Carey: Wow really? Where did she get it?

Isis: (shrugs) Probably some stupid teenagers who think they are cool.

Carey: Why do you think she took it?

Isis: …I think Ikenzie is hurt. I really do. Even though she doesn't act like it, I know she is and she's trying to hide it but I'm not sure why.

Carey: Do you think she was trying to hide it the same way you were?

Isis: No…it's a different type of hide. Like even when we are at home, no one can even speak Jade's name or she's gone. She's like trying to pretend it didn't happen or something. I'm not sure what's going on in her head.

Carey: How about you try talking with her? That way you and her can both let out some feelings.

Isis: Yeah I guess.

Carey: So how are you feeling today?

Isis: I'm good. She's not really on my mind to much today. I mean she's always on my mind, but not just tugging at it you know? I'm doing okay.

Carey: (smiles) Well that's very good to hear. That means you are healing very well. It's a big thing that you can sit and talk about her right now without feeling the need to run away or cry hysterically.

Isis: (shrugs) yeah..

Carey: So what are your plans for the rest of the day?

Isis: Well I'm going to hang out with Monica tonight. Catch a movie and stuff.

Carey: You really like this Monica girl. Will you ever forgive her? Last time she was brought up you told me you wouldn't, but your whole face just lit up at the mention of her name.

Isis: (blushes) Of course I forgive her. I just haven't let her know that. I like to mess with her mind. I'll let her know tonight that I forgive her.

Carey: Do you think you two will get back together?

Isis: (shrugs and smiles) Maybe.

Carey: Well Isis, that's all for today. You seem to be doing great! I love the improvement you've made and I actually think that our sessions will have to continue no longer. Only if you need to talk. How about that?

Isis: Sounds good to me (laughs) I hated talking about my feelings anyways.

Carey: Well it feels good to let them out sometimes. You are free to go Missy. And promise me if you ever need to talk call me. I'll make a check up appointment with you for next month just to see how you're doing. It was so nice talking with you Isis. You are a very sweet and beautiful young woman, you just have to show that more often. Don't be so stubborn. Smile, keep your chin up, your beautiful.

Isis: (smiles) Thank you for everything Carey. (stands up)

Carey: Promise you'll call me whenever you need to?

Isis: I promise. Bye.

Carey: Bye Love.

* * *

**[Cat's POV]**

_**That Night**_

**KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK**

"Ikenzie….I'm coming in okay?" I said to her door softly before pushing it open.

She sat on her bed Indian style with headphones in. She immediately spotted me and removed her headphones before reaching over and putting her hearing aid in her ear. "Yes?"

"Can we talk?" I said walking all the way in.

She gave a huge sigh. "Look I'm sorry okay. I know it was wrong, I won't do it again." She said turning away from me.

I've been trying to talk to her since we came home just the other day, but I haven't gotten the chance. I keep putting it off, but I can't anymore and I'm not going to let her push me away this time.

I sighed as I closed the door behind me and walked over to her before sitting down on her bed.

"Mommmm, I get it. Okay it was wrong. I won't do it again. I don't want to talk about it. I'm sorry." She wined as she kept her face away from me.

I reached over and ran my fingers through her naturally curly brown hair as I sighed. "I don't want to talk to you about what you did. I want to talk to you about why you did it? Can you answer that one thing?"

"Because I just wanted to okay? I wanted to experiment. That's it. Some other kids had it, they asked if I wanted to try, and I did. I didn't even like it. I won't do it again. Okay?"

I reached into my pocket before pulling out a small pack that contained a small amount of marijuana. "Then why do you have this?" I asked putting it on the bed beside her.

She looked at the weed then look back at me with wide eyes. "How did you get that?"

I shook my head. "That's not the point." I said grabbing the drug I found today under her mattress and putting it aside.

I crawled on her bed more so that I was sitting directly in front of her before I grabbed both her hands in mine. "What's going on with you Ikenzie? Please talk to me. Why are you doing this?"

She looked away from me as she put her head down.

"Look at me!" I yelled louder than intended which made her jump and turn her gaze back to me.

She shrugged as her eyes brows furrowed. "Because it feels good."

"But why do you need to feel good? Why would you need that?"

"So I won't have to think."

"Think about what?"

She started at me for a moment before her face turned angry. She ripped her hands away from mine before standing to her feet. "I don't want to talk about anything! Please just leave me alone! Here, take the drugs. I don't need them!" She said as she grabbed the small pack and threw it at me. "Please leave." She said in a calmer voice as she pointed to her door.

I shook my head as I put the drugs down and walked over to her grabbing her face in my hands. "You miss Jade."

Suddenly her breathing started to deepen and she shook her head in my hands. "No! I don't care about Jade! I don't miss her! She used to hurt you mom, and you let her! Why would you let her do that to you!? She was mean, she was cruel. She had no business hurting you. And I don't miss her! I don't!" She said with tears filling her eyes.

Tears filled my own eyes as I looked up at the celling to keep them from falling before bringing my gaze back to her. "Ikenzie, you won't understand. Jade was not a bad person. She wasn't. She treated me the only way she knew how; the best way she could. She loved me, she loved you. She didn't mean the things she did baby and you wouldn't understand that. She's so sorry baby, she really is."

"She's not sorry! She didn't care! She didn't care that she hurt you physically, that she hurt me mentally, that she hurt us! Jade was selfish! She only cared about herself! And it hurts me so bad that I do, I do miss her Mom! I miss her more and more everyday and it's eating me alive, I don't know how to feel! Because I'm soooo mad at her….I'm so mad, but I'm so hurt….I can't." She said before she started to cry. I wrapped my arms around her tight as I let her cry into my shoulder. "I just don't want to think about it!" She cried. "I want to forget about it all!"

I took a breath as pulled her away from me. "I want you to listen to something okay." I said as I lifted my shirt to wipe her tears.

"I'll be right back."

I walked from her room and to my own before retrieving the recording from my drawer. I really wanted the whole family to sit down and listen to this together, but everyone isn't here and this is the best time for Ikenzie to hear.

My heart ached became worse and worse with every step that I took as I walked back to her room with the disk in my hands. I have no idea how she'll respond to this, but she has to hear it. Beck's right, they have to. She needs to know Jade is sorry. Jade wasn't selfish. Jade wasn't cruel. Jade loved.

"What's that?" Ikenzie asked as she watched me put the disk in her CD layer.

"I want you to listen to this, okay." I pushed play before sitting down on the floor. "Come sit with me."

She did as she was told as the first silent minutes of the recording played before my love's hurt voice filled the room.

"Is….is that Jade?"

I just nodded as I wrapped my arms around her. "Listen to what she has to say." I whispered before my chin went to the top of her head and my eyes closed as we both listened quietly.

Before long the recording had come to an end and the entire time Ikenzie hadn't made a sound or a movement. I let go of her and lifted her face to me.

She didn't look me in my eyes but passed me. "Ikenzie…" I said softly and she just shook her head.

"….C….can I be alone for a minute….please." She said in a voice that stabbed me in my heart. It was so full of hurt, I've never heard anything like that come from Ikenzie.

I just nodded as I gave her a kiss on her head and stood to my feet. I walked over to the door and gave a second glance to see her still sitting on the floor leaned up against her bed. Her eyes closed and I watched a few tears fall down her face slowly before I went into the hall and closed her door. Immediately I broke down into tears covering my mouth so that she wouldn't hear me crying. I slide down the wall beside her door and within seconds her door busted open and she fell into my lap crying hysterically.

We sat like that for what felt like hours and in reality I believe it was. It was a miracle my other daughters weren't home because I don't think I can deal with everyone all at once. I would have a breakdown. I just wish I didn't have to go through this. I wish none of this ever had happened, but we don't always get what we wish for so I have to be strong for my family and we will make it through together. We've made it this far and soon enough we will all be back on solid grounds. We just all have to be patient and take things slow.

* * *

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	13. My Stupid Little Monica

**Okay so I just had to address this **

_**Fuck You (Guest): Maybe if you stopped winning and begging for reviewers after every chapter, people might decide that they want to review by themselves, stop forcing it. Fussy Bitch**_

**Okay so I have to say I literally rolled on the floor laughing like that was so hilarious. Best review ever! I wish you weren't anonymous, but anyways**_**, Thanks for reading, PLEASE REVIEW! :) **_**, is my signature and last time I checked it wasn't a beg….but okayyy. Who doesn't want more reviews? Duh I'm going to ask for more! Idiot. Where's your story? And what I thought was so funny about your comment, is after all that wining **_**you**_** just did, you still reviewed! So thank you for your review **_**Fuck You**_**, and FUCK YOU TOO! ;)**

**Here is chapter 13**

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* * *

Chapter 13

_My Stupid Little Monica_

**[Beck's POV]**

**KNOCK, KNOCK**

"Kay." I talked through her door as I stood outside leaned up against it.

After a few moments of silence I slowly turned the nob and made my way inside to see her laying on her made-up bed fast asleep.

I sighed as I walked closer and sat down on the floor in front of her with by back leaned up against the bed.

I threw my hands up as I just shook my head and sighed. "I'm sorry Kaylee." I ran my hand through my hair before letting it fall. "I didn't know this would upset you so much. It's just….Tori and I haven't been getting along so well, I made her leave, she didn't just walk out." I sighed again before I continued. "She's just….it's like she's going crazy, you know? Well no you wouldn't know, you wouldn't understand that. I'm sorry for lying to you all these years about who your real mother is. I know I should have told you way sooner, I just couldn't find the words.

"You asked me where you'd be if your real mother didn't pass away and to be honest I don't know babe. Probably with her? No you'd still be here. Melissa….I don't have words to explain her, she wasn't the….nice type and I wouldn't even want you around her. I don't regret you, I love you with all my heart and I wouldn't trade you for the world. Tori loves you Kaylee, I don't know why she's acting like a bitch. She wasn't always this way and you remember that. She used to be so sweet and loving to you. Did she like the fact that you weren't hers? No, but she still loved you, I saw it in her eyes and it's like as the years went on Tori just….started losing herself. I don't know what's going on in her mind, but she's not the same person, she's not the same sweet young lady with a heart bigger than any other person's I've ever known I married all those years ago and I wish I could bring her back somehow, but I can't.

"I know I haven't been the best father either while I'm sitting here talking about Tori. I've been so into my work and getting noticed I've been ignoring the two most important people in my life, and that's you and Monica. I'm sorry for all those times I've pushed you to the side, all those times I just didn't care. I care Kaylee and I love you. I wish I could take all your pain away, I really do, but I don't think I can. I don't know how. Tell me what I can do to make you feel better and I'll try my best to do whatever it is, I promise I will and-"

"-Bring her back." I heard Kaylee say from behind me which startled me a bit before I turned to her to see her with her puffy eyes wide open looking me in my own.

She sat up as she grabbed a stuffed bear on her bed and held onto it. "Try to bring her back daddy. Please." She begged with puppy dog eyes and a hurt voice.

I sighed as I shook my head. "…Kaylee I don't think-"

"-Maybe she left because you pushed her aside too? Like you just said you did us, and how you just said we were the most important people, you didn't mention her. She has to be important to you in some kind of way. You married her. You love her. Maybe you pushed her aside too daddy, maybe that's why she's always grumpy. Maybe she needs more attention just like I wanted." She said as she wiped a tear that was falling from her eye.

I sat in silence for a moment as I thought about her words before sitting up on the bed beside her.

"Try daddy please? What happened? Why did you make her leave? Why dad?"

I just shook my head. "It's complicated Kaylee-"

"-Well make it uncomplicated. It doesn't have to be this way. You married her for a reason. Why do you think she changed? Find out daddy and maybe she'll come back and love us how she used too when I was very young."

I leaned over and gave her a kiss on her head. "It's not that easy Kay."

"It is. You're just making it harder than it has to be. Talk to her. Talk to her daddy. Please. You said you'd do anything, do this for me. I want her back, I want my mother daddy. That's all I want." She said as tears filled her eyes again.

"Okay…don't cry." I said as I wiped her eyes for her before bringing her into a hug. I never knew how much it hurt to see my little girl cry; to see her so hurt. I don't like it especially since I caused it.

I sighed as I nodded.

"I'll try okay and if it doesn't work out Kaylee it just doesn't and you'll have to understand that."

"Okay daddy, but you have to try. What can you lose?"

"Nothing I guess." I said as I pulled back and looked into her eyes to see her give me a small smile.

"Now…I'm hungry, I'm not sure about you. But I hear Razzi's Pizza calling my name." I lifted a brow to her and watched her face light up a little at hearing the name of her favorite restaurant. "I hear if you eat there before 6pm there's a free movie and ice-cream for dessert after words?" I smiled.

She sighed as she smiled too. "Okay."

I kissed her on her head before standing up and her mimicking my moves.

I can't believe I have to do this. I never wanted to talk to Tori again, but Kaylee is 100% right. There's apparently something bothering Tori and I didn't even give her a chance to talk. She's just been making me so mad. I didn't want to hear anything else coming from her mouth. I just needed to get away from her, but I have to sit down and talk to her. Not just for my daughter, but for my sakes. I want to know what has changed my wife to make her into the evil bitch she is today. Yeah I said evil.

I sighed.

…_..Guess I should get on that soon…._

* * *

**[Cat's & Robbie's Text]**

Robbie: Hey Cat.

Cat: Hey Robbie.

Robbie: I wanted to let you know I have Mr. Purple.

Cat: Oh my god! Why did you take him!?

Robbie: I didn't take him Cat. You left him in my room last week during movie night. I forgot to tell you. Did you not notice he was missing?

Cat: No I didn't. There's been too much on my mind.

Robbie: Are you okay?

Cat: …yeahhhh.

Robbie: Want me to come over? I have a new guitar. We can sing songs and play pirates.

Cat: Haha you're so inappropriate. No. But you can bring your guitar.

Robbie: Alrightydoodie.

Cat: You said doodie hahaha.

Robbie: What!? No I didn't.

Cat: Whatever you say Robbie.

Robbie: Be there in a jiff.

Cat: Okay.

* * *

**[Isis's POV]**

I walked up to the apartment that Monica's text sent me to before I just turned the knob and let myself in.

_People need to learn how to lock their doors. _

I closed the door behind me before walking down the hall and the first room I came to was Monica's apparently. She stood turned away from me as she hung up stupid looking things on her wall.

"You're room is already hideous, why make it worst?" I asked as I crossed my arms.

I chuckled as she jumped in surprise and turned to me with her hand over her heart. "Oh my god you scared me! Never do that again!" She frowned.

"Well maybe you guys should learn how to lock your front door. I could have been a burglar, or a rapist, or Justin Bieber." I said tossing my bag to her bed. "That would even scare me."

She rolled her eyes before walking closer to me. "I'm pretty much done. Do you want to head out now?"

"Sure." I said as I picked my nails.

"I have to ask my mom to go, but I know she'll let me. Hang on." I looked up as I watched her walk to the exit of her room to tell her little mommy she's going out. I think she's entirely too old for that. I _tell_ Cat what I'm doing. I wish I would ask her. She can't tell me what to do. I do what I want.

Before she even got out of her room her mother started to walk by.

"Oh, hey. Can I go out with Isis? We are just going to get something to eat and stuff."

I watched as Tori looked over at me with a frown on her face as I stared her down and lifted a brow which made her tear her glance from me as if she were uncomfortable. She squeezed her eyes close for a moment before just nodding. "Yeah...okay. Be careful." Was all she said before walking away with her head down.

Monica turned to me with a huge smile on her face as she ran and grabbed her purse, grabbed my hand, and pulled me up. I barley could grab my own bag before she rushed me out of her room, out of the front door and down to my car.

"Dude! Chill out! Why are you running?" I asked as I pushed my hair from my face and unlocked my doors.

"She forgot to give me a curfew!" She smiled as she hopped into the passengers seat.

"Yeah, she's going to call you in just a minute and-"

**RING, RING, RING, RING**

I crossed my arms and smirked at her. "That's her right now."

She looked down at her phone and growled before she smiled. "Opps." She said as she pushed ignore.

I sat back and lifted a brow. "5,4,3,2.." I didn't even make it to one before she pushed radial.

"Hello….yeah…awwww but it's the weekend…mmmm, okay, kay….love you too bye."

"Curfew?" I said as I uncrossed my arms and started the car.

"11:00pm."

"Sweet old perfect Monica, just couldn't resist." I laughed as I pulled from her complex.

She frowned as she sat back.

Our night was full of smiles and laughter as we went to a movie and out to eat. I can't even lie, I've enjoyed my night spent with her. I miss Monica. I miss her laugh. I miss her pretty smile. I miss her beautiful face. I miss her. And as hard as I tried to pretend I still hated her and act like I was never going to forgive her, I slipped. I fell for her stupid little jokes, and blushed at her stupid little compliments. I love my stupid little Monica and I always will.

"I don't think we are supposed to be here after dark." Monica stated as we walked side by side through the dark park.

"And I don't see anyone telling us to leave?" I stated.

She gave an uncomfortable sigh as she looked around and rubbed her arms.

"You look scared Oliver."

"Well….it's creepy out here. Can't we go to somewhere where there is light?"

"No." I stated before I reached over and grabbed her hand in mine. "Better?" I lifted a brow at her.

She smiled. "A little."

I started to swing our arms as we walked but immediately stopped once I noticed how….ew that was. "So…how do you feel about your parents splitting up?" I asked as we came to the swings and let go of hands as we sat down.

"I don't want to talk about it." She said as she put her head down and swung softly.

"It's not as bad as it seem-"

"-I said I don't want to talk about out it." She stated firmly as she looked at me with mad eyes before she changed the subject. "…..Are you still mad at me? I'm really sorry Isis. I was being stupid."

I stopped my swing and sighed. _I've been waiting for this question all day._

I just tilted my head and smiled. "Hmmmmmm I don't know….am I?"

She smiled as she stood up from her swing and flopped into my lap almost making me fall.

"What do you think you're doing Oliver?" I lifted a brow trying to sound aggravated but in reality there's nothing better than having Monica's ass on my legs.

She smiled before her eyes turned serious. "I really miss you Isis. And I'm sorry. I want you to forgive me. I'll do anything. I'm just so-"

"-I forgive you." I said as I removed my hands from holding to the chains of the swing to wrapping them around her small body.

She smiled. "Really?"

I just nodded.

"Remember when you told me to find you where I lost you?"

I thought for a moment as she reminded me of the text I sent her earlier. I never thought she'd catch on to what I meant exactly. "Yeah."

"I understand it now."

I smiled. _Maybe she's not as stupid as I thought._

"I found you." She said as she leaned in and I seriously closed my eyes because I 100% knew she was going to kiss me but the next thing I know I felt arms going around me for a bear hug.

_Oh you got to be kidding me._

I sighed loudly as I pushed her from me and grabbed her face smashing my lips to hers. She gasped in surprise before she responded moving her lips along with mine softly before pulling away.

"I'm sorry Isis. There's no other person on earth that I want but you. I made the biggest mistake."

"You sure did." I said before smashing our lips together again.

"Hey!"

I growled and pulled away as a bright flash light shined in our eyes. "Park is closed after dark. You kids get out of here before I call the police."

"The police seriously? I mean what would you possible say? Two girls were in the park, lock em up?" I said as I crossed my arms.

Monica quickly slid off of me as she grabbed my hand and pulled me to my feet. "I'm so sorry about her. We were just leaving." She said in an apologetic tone as she pulled me all the way to my car.

"You're so mean." She laughed.

"Deal with it." I said kissing her cheek and opening her door for her.

I drove her home and got her to her front door at exactly 11:00pm before giving her kiss goodnight.

"Facetime me when you get home." She smiled.

"Alright." I said as I gave her a small hug and walked back to my car. I felt her eyes just staring holes through me the entire walk.

Once in my car I waved and she waved back blowing me a kiss that I pretended to throw out which made her laugh.

_God she's so beautiful. _I thought as I pulled from her driveway and down the street.

_Monica will always be mine._

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**Thanks for reading! PLEASE REVIEW! (oh so sorry for the BEG) ;)**


	14. Lost Minds

**Sorry for any typos. I have to rush. I'll fix them later. Enjoy.**

* * *

_Lost Minds_

**[Cat's POV]**

_**3 Days Later**_

"Say Nana…..naaannnnaaa." I said as 9 month old Kemistry stood in front of me hanging onto my knees for support.

She smiled big as she gave a small chuckle but didn't attempt the words.

"Aww c'mon, say nana."

"Dadadadada." She chuckled again.

"If you're saying dada, I'm not that." I laughed before reaching down and lifting her into my lap.

I pulled her into a hug in which she snuggled into me as I gave her a kiss on top of her head. I love Kemistry. I love her so, so, so, so much. Even though she can be fussy at times, she's a very sweet little girl with the most beautiful smile and the most beautiful curly brown hair and dark brown eyes. She took most of her looks from her dad but she definitely stole the dimples from Italy, which Italy stole from me.

I looked at the time and sighed. Italy was supposed to be here at 9:00pm so I could go to sleep because I do have a job now. It's not a big job, I just do nails at a nail shop down the street. It was an easy grab, but I have to be there early tomorrow morning and I told her to be back home by 9:00pm, but of course she's not. She never is.

Italy is always putting Kemistry off on me, Isis, Kodak, her grandparents, friends, anybody who will watch her. She doesn't spend much time with her at all and it kind of makes me mad. She always wants to go out with Makari and go to the mall and party or whatever, but it's like she has a baby at home. She can't keep doing this, but I have to remember she's only a sixteen year old girl and she's just being a teen, but she has to start to learn and take more responsibility. A baby is nothing to play with. She needs to start stepping up and actually being the mother to this child because I'm starting to believe that maybe Kemistry thinks I'm her mom. She always crys for me, she never wants Italy. She wants me to hold her, and cuddle her and feed her, but this isn't my job. I have to make sure to have a talk with her when she comes home.

**RING, RING, RING**

"Hello?" Italy answered in a light tone as I huffed on the other end.

"Italy where are you? You were supposed to be back by 9, it's now 10:24."

She sighed. "Mom I'm sooooo sorry. We ended up going on the other side of town and then Makari's car ran out of gas because she's stupid and didn't look at her gas handle so we had to wait for Andre to come and put gas in it and right now we are just grabbing some food and she's bringing me home. I'm sorry."

"Italy it's always an excuse with you. We need to talk when you come home okay?"

She was silent for a moment before she spoke. "Okay."

"Bye." I threw my phone over to the coffee table before looking down and seeing Kemistry fast asleep in my arms.

_I have to go to bed._ I thought after another 30 minutes of just sitting and waiting for her.

I stood up with Kemistry and walked up the stairs and down to Isis's room before giving it a gentle knock.

"Isis…are you sleeping?"

"No, come on in."

I opened her door to see her on the floor with picture books and single pictures plastered everywhere around her.

"What's this?" I said as I walked closer and laid Kemistry down on her bed.

I looked back over to Isis to see her shrug and sigh before I sat down beside her. I focused on all the pictures to see that they all were of Jade and her throughout all the years.

I frowned as I turned my gaze back at her to see her just looking at them with a straight face. It's like she had no emotion.

"Isis-" I started to speak but she interrupted me.

"-Why would she do something like that?" She said as she kept her eyes on the pictures.

"…She-"

"-I mean did she not think about us? Did she not care? I mean I've always wondered why…but…now it's like…._why?_ Really _why_? What drove her to do something like that to herself and not care? And not care who she hurt, not care who saw, not care how life would be without her. Why?"

I reached over and put my hand to her back in which she shook away. "Don't comfort me, I'm not sad. I'm just wondering why? Was there something going on that I didn't know about? I knew mom was all about hiding her feelings, but was it that bad? I mean really was worth it Cat?" She said turning to me. "You have to know." She said shaking her head with confusion and determination all in her eyes.

I sighed as I sat back against her bed. "Isis….Jade….she went through a lot okay and-"

"She went through what? What did she go through Cat?"

I closed my eyes and sighed again_. I'm so tired, so, so tired. I really can't go through this tonight._

"Isis…we'll talk tomorrow I promise. I'll tell you everything. I just don't have it in me right now."

She gave me a mean expression before her face cleared. "Fine. And you better not be lying to me."

"I'm not lying." I said as I opened my eyes and sat back up.

She shook her head as she turned to her sleeping niece. "Let me guess, Italy's late, you need me to watch her until she comes home?" She lifted a brow and I just nodded. "Ughh she gets on my nerves with that! This is her baby not ours!" She yelled and I just nodded again.

"I know. I'm going to have a talk with her tomorrow." I said as I stood up and stretched. "I love you Isis. We'll talk tomorrow too. Goodnight."

I finally made it to my room, showered and got into my nighties before just sitting in my bed with my eyes wide open.

I sighed to myself. "I guess tomorrow will be the best time to let Isis hear what you left us Jade." I closed my eyes. "I just wish you didn't do it. I wish you were still here. I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you Jade, didn't." I said as tears fell down my cheeks. "I love you….I love you and I'm so sorry." I sighed again as I grabbed onto Mr. Purple Robbie returned to me and hugged it tight. "Goodnight Jadey."

_Tomorrow will be a long day…_

* * *

**[Beck's POV]**

**DING, DONG**

I took a couple of steps back and waiting for a moment before the door swung open to her with a smile that immediately disappeared once she saw me.

"What do you want?" Tori asked as she crossed her arms and lifted a brow.

"I want to talk."

"There's nothing for us to talk about." She said as she uncrossed her arms and started to close the door but I put my foot in to stop it.

"We need to talk." I stated firmly before moving my foot. She eyed me down for a few moments before she sighed.

"About what Beck? What's there to discuss?"

I just shook my head. "A lot."

She huffed before she opened the door wider letting me in and closing it behind us. "Come this way." She said as she started to walk down the hall to I'm guessing what was her room.

We walked in and she closed the door before flopping down on the edge of her bed while I took a seat in a chair that sat in a corner not far from her.

We both sat in silence for what seemed like years before she huffed and threw up her arms. "So? What is it?"

I sat forward letting my elbows rest on the knees as I crossed my hands in front of me. "Tori what's going on with you?"-

She looked at me sideways. "Um, I'm not sure what you mean."

"I mean what is going on with you?"

"You just asked the same question." She said as she shook her head.

"Because that is my question. That's what I want to talk about. Tori….You know I can't even call you that name anymore because that's not who you are. You've changed over to some person I barely even know within the matter of 2 years. The woman that sits in front of me now is a million years away from the woman that I married. You were sweet, kind, loving, caring, optimistic, warmhearted, selfless, considerate, you had the biggest heart. Now you're just opposite of that. It's like you don't care about anything but yourself. It's like you just hate everybody, like you just hate the world. You just don't care. It's like you have something stuck up your ass that you don't care to get out. What happened Tori? Why did you all of a sudden change to this woman I don't know? Is it something I did? Is it something someone else did? Just….I don't know what it is Tori and I just want to know what happened? Where did my wife go? Please tell me."

I watched a she put her head down as she shook her head. She sighed loudly before running her hand through her hair and looking up. "I sorry Beck. I don't….I just…"

"You just what Tori?" I said as I stood up and walked over to sit beside her on her bed.

She put her head back down letting her hair cover her face as she played around with her hands. I reached over and tucked her hair behind her ear before grabbing her chin and turning her face to me. "Tell me what's up." I said letting go of her chin once her eyes met mine.

"I don't know Beck." She said as she tore her gaze from me.

"Nan, I don't want any of that."

She through her hands up and let them fall again. "What do you want from me Beck? What does everyone want from me?"

"What do you mean Tori?"

She closed her eyes tight before pulling her hair.

"Hey stop that." I said grabbing her wrist loosening her hands from her hair.

"I….I'm so frustrated, and confused, and hurt, and lost, and ughhh!" She yelled freeing her wrist from my grasp. "I didn't mean it, I didn't mean anything. I'm sorry I am!"

"Sorry about what? What didn't you mean?"

"I didn't mean to hurt anybody Beck." She said with tears in her eyes. "It's my fault. It's all my fault."

"What's your fault Tori?"

"That Jade's dead Beck. It's my fault." She said before bringing her hands to her face to sob.

I opened my mouth to speak but she continued.

"Don't say it isn't, because it is. I hurt Jade so much. I know I did. I sit around and try to say she caused everything to herself, that she was the selfish one, that she deserved it all, but she didn't I know she didn't. If it wasn't for me, she'd still be alive and Cat and her family wouldn't be hurting and everything would be fine. I took you from her in high school and I planned on doing it because I hated Jade. She treated everyone so mean, and I….I wanted to see her on the other end of the rope. I wanted to take something from her that I knew would break her and that something would be you. It just supposed to be a small thing. I was going to take you and break up with you so you two could get back together just so she can see how it feels to hurt. But once I started talking to you more and more I actually started to fall for you and I could see it that you feel for me too and that wasn't supposed to happen that way. It was supposed to be just a trick, a plan. Something quick.

"I won't forget the look in her eyes when she saw us, but I tried to act like it was nothing. After she fell in love with Cat I felt so much better because she had someone to love and everything was going to be okay. She was okay now and that's all that mattered to me, but I still everyday regret what I did to her but I wouldn't admit that to anyone. It hurt me so bad, it did Beck, I swear it did.

"Me and you got married and had a family and Jade did the same with Cat, it was all good. I loved you Beck, I love you Beck. I'm so in love with you and I was back then. I never wanted you to leave me. I wanted you to be everything to me because I took you from Jade and I didn't want to have had done that in vein. So I needed you.

"Nothing hurt me more than what you did at that party. Don't even say it wasn't your fault, I told you not to go, but you did anyways. You brought Kaylee home…I was pissed, I was so mad because I felt like you would leave me. Even though deep down I what happened with Melissa was most likely true because I knew she was crazy. I knew it. But I felt like you would cheat on me whenever you wanted. I felt that you didn't care about me, that you didn't love me even though you said you did. You cheated on Jade, why wouldn't you cheat on me? I honestly didn't think you wouldn't go for it in high school but you did, so I felt that anybody could take you from me.

"I accepted Kaylee even though deep down I felt I shouldn't have. I loved her as my own. And I raised her as my own and you know what I did? I said forget everything. I pushed all my thoughts and heartaches from high school up to you bringing home Kaylee aside. I said I was going to be happy with my life and everything was fine. Everything was perfect once I looked at life this way. I was happy. I had two daughters and a loving husband and that's all I needed.

"But then….you started to get so into your work. You started to neglect your family Beck. All you cared about was your stupid script getting noticed or whatever the heck it was. You moved us back here to L.A. and that's when everything that I pushed aside, everything that I forgot about from those years ago came back to surface within that one moment I saw Jade for the first time in years. All the guilt and hurt and everything I forgot about just came back and I couldn't stop thinking about it. My mind went negative. You started staying away from the house more and more for your work and I started to panic thinking maybe you're cheating on me. That maybe you don't care anymore, that maybe I was getting too old for you. I started to not trust you anymore as all those thoughts from the party reentered my mind. I started looking at Kaylee a whole different way. I hated her. She wasn't my daughter why is she in my house? And all these thoughts where just flooding and flooding my mind I couldn't stop them no matter how hard I tried.

"I finally found out what Jade was doing to Cat. It only made things worse for me. I had these feelings for Jade of regret and sorrow and I was sorry. And deep down I wanted to run to her and spill my heart out telling her how sorry I was for what I did to her, but I couldn't because I let those feelings be taken over with hatred towards her because of how she was treating my best friend. I hated Jade. I hated her, but I was sorry, God I was so sorry, ugh I was so confused!

"I had completely lost my mind at this point. Jade…I wanted to hurt her again. Deep deep down I did because of Cat. She took advantage of her and I hated that she did that! How could you do something like that to Cat. I thought somebody had to show her. I'll do her like I did Beck. I'll take her away and then she'll be sorry.

"I told Cat everything I was going to do was for her, I told myself everything was for her and to be honest a lot was for her because I did want to show Cat love and I wanted her to feel special because I knew for a fact Jade didn't do that, but really….everything wasn't for her. I did it to hurt Jade, I did, but I didn't admit that aloud not even to myself.

"It wasn't even 48 hours after I took Cat that I heard Jade had committed suicide. My heart died. It died Beck. It died. Jade had warned me several times to stay away from Cat and I took all those warnings as fuel and motivation to take her away because Jade knew, Jade saw what I was trying to do before I even did.

"Once Cat ran home Jade showed up at the house not even 30 minutes later and she hurt me. You know about that and then she left. I never saw her again.

"It's my fault Beck. It's my fault. I caused Jade to kill herself. I did! Everything is my fault! If I hadn't of took you, if I hadn't of took Cat, she would still be here! I hurt her to the point where she didn't want to be here anymore. And after that. I didn't care! I was so hurt and I just…I didn't want anybody to see. I tried to pretend everything was fine. But it wasn't. It hurt so much. And I just…I lost myself. I didn't care about you, I didn't care about Kaylee, I didn't care about Monica, I didn't care about myself. I pretended to care about Cat but I didn't because I was so at fault. I just…gave up. Fuck everything. Cat blamed me and she was right. It was my fault and at Disney she apologized to me and I apologized to her but deep down I still didn't care. Yeah Jade was dead so what? I tried to push everything to the back of my mind again. Like I did those years ago, but it wasn't working this time, it just hurt more and more, it wouldn't go away!

"I never cheated on you with Ryder Beck. I just said that to make you mad; Too make you hurt too because I was hurting and I didn't want to hurt alone. I wanted as many people to hurt too so I wouldn't be alone. I knew Cat was in the room. I heard you guys when you walked in. The person I was talking to hung up right as you guys were walking in and I pretended I was still on the phone. I wanted to hurt Cat with my words and why? Because I was mad at her for being so stupid! For staying with Jade letting her beat her to death for Lord knows how long? And then I realized Cat loved her while no one else did. And I just…ughhhhhhh I'm so stupid! And lost and confused. I'm so stupid Beck!

"I'm sorry! I'M SO SO SORRY! I didn't mean for any of this to happen! I'm sorry Beck, I'm sorry Kaylee! I'm sorry Cat! And I'm so, so, so sorry Jade West! EVERYTHING is my fault! EVERYTHING!"

I sat in silence and shock as Tori sat beside me and loudly sobbed into her hands. I couldn't believe everything I just heard. Is…really?

I stood up and walked from her room and room her house before hoping in my car and speeding off. I didn't mean to leave her like that, but I just need to think and process the things she just told me.

_My mind is going crazy._

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**Thanks for reading!**

**PLEASE REVIEW! :)**


	15. Mental & Physical Pain

Chapter 15

_Mental & Physical Pain_

**[Cat's & Robbie's Text]**

_**The Next Morning**_

Robbie: Heya Cat, morning.

Cat: Hi Robbie. Good morning to you too.

Robbie: How are you?

Cat: I'm okay. What about you?

Robbie: I'm cool. So what are you up to today?

Cat: A lot. I have to talk with my girls today. I'm still laying in bed though. I've been trying to avoid it.

Robbie: It's almost 10 am Cat. You have to get up some time. Why are you trying to avoid talking to your daughters?

Cat: Because it's about Jade and stuff and…stuff. I just don't have the strength anymore and it takes a lot. I know it's been a long time since….yeah, but it's still so hard. I just want it all to be over.

Robbie: (frowning emoticon) I know how that is Cat. I'm sorry you have to go through that. It doesn't matter how long ago it has been, it always still feels like it happened yesterday.

Cat: Yes it does! I'm so happy I have someone that understands that doesn't keep bringing up the fact that it was almost 9 months ago. It doesn't matter how long ago. I wish those other people would understand that too.

Robbie: I know Cat.

Cat: Robbie will it go away?

Robbie: Will what go away?

Cat: The hurt.

Robbie: Deep down it will always hurt Cat, but you can turn it into good hurt instead of bad hurt.

Cat: I'm confused?

Robbie: It's something I had to learn how to do. I'll tell you all about it sometime soon okay?

Cat: Okay, thanks Robbie.

Robbie: No prob. Talk to your girls. Just call if you need anything. I'm here for you.

Cat: Thank you. (smiling emoticon)

* * *

**[Tori's POV]**

"Thanks mom. Love you." I said as I gave my mother a hug and walked out of her door with November following behind me.

"Did you have a good time?" I asked her after her bags where in the trunk and we were seated in my car.

She gave a slight nod before just turning to look out of her window.

After we returned home from Disney I immediately took November to my mother's house because my mother was taking a trip to New York for a fashion show her job paid for. Since she knew how much November loves fashion, she invited her to go along with her since she hadn't spent much time with her granddaughter in a long while and it was perfect because they left literally the night we got back from Disney.

"Are you okay Novie?"

She nodded again as she kept her gaze out of the window.

"Did something happen when you were away?" I asked as we both still sat in the quiet car I have yet to start up.

She shook her head again keeping her face from mine.

"Hey, look at me." I said softly in which she turned to me with a hurt expression on her face. "Baby what's wrong?"

She put her head down. "…..Can….can I go see my mom?" She asked before looking back up at me.

I sat staring at her for a moment before I just nodded. "Uh…of course. Yeah….we can see your mom. You really want to see her?"

She nodded at me with a frown on her face. "I just want to ask her something."

I just nodded. "Well yeah, we can go sometime-"

"-Today?"

_Today?_

"Uhhhh….I….suppose we can go today. Is that what you want?"

She just nodded as I looked at the time. I mean I didn't have anywhere else to be. I could take her to see her mom. Plus it wasn't too far anyways. Neither of us has ever been to see Trina she was locked away and I did plan on giving her a small visit, but I didn't have today in mind.

"Okay well….put your seatbelt on." I stated as I started the car and put mine on as well before pulling from my mother's house.

It's just so weird and out of the blue that she would ask that. She always said how she never ever wanted to see her mother again. How she ruined her life and hurt her so bad, but I'm not going to question her about it.

After a bit we pulled up to the prison that is going to hold her mother captive for the rest of her life. To be honest I don't like to think about it. I love Trina, I do. She's my one and only sister and even though she was a…..gank growing up and a horror to her family, deep down I still miss her. I know she's done wrong, but haven't we all? I forgive her. _Is that wrong?_

We walked into the entrance and I swear it took like 5 years to get through security before we were finally seated in open room where people came to visit their loved ones that are locked away. I have to admit it looks pretty freaky in here. I mean to be seated in a room with criminals. I know there is security in every corner, but still….I feel so unsafe.

Finally after 10 minutes of sitting a security officer walked out with Trina by his side and I almost didn't recognize her. Her hair was braided straight back in cornrows, her face looked as if it had been beaten several times, she wore no makeup of course, but I never seen her without it, and she clearly had lost a lot of weight.

"10 minutes Vega-Smith" The officer said before walking away leaving Trina to sit across from us.

She looked at me and then over to her daughter before flopping down in the seat with handcuffs keeping her hands together in the front of her.

I felt November's hand slide into mine under the table as she gave it a very tight squeeze but her face held no emotion. It was as plain as a blank sheet of paper.

"….so you guys came here to sit in silence?" Trina asked as she looked over at me and I immediately put my head down.

"No…November wanted to talk to you." I said as I looked back up to see her turning her gaze to her daughter.

"What?" She asked in an aggravated tone.

I watched as November just stared at her, she didn't say a word she just stared and by the huff Trina gave I could tell she was getting impatient with her daughter.

"….Ok so if you're not going to say anything then bye. You're wasting my time." She said as she stood up.

_Wasting what time?..._

"Wait!" November said as she let go of my hand and stood to her feet as security came walking over to Trina.

I watched November's plain expression turn into one of hurt and sadness as tears filled her eyes and her lips quivered. She threw her hands up in the hair before letting them fall again. "Why? Just...why?"

Trina rolled her eyes and let out a huff of air. "Look November…..I'm sorry. Okay. I'm sorry. If that's what you came here for now you got it."

"No….why? why did you?" November asked walking closer to her mother as the security guy grabbed onto Trina.

"Dude will you let go!? I'm not going anywhere!" Trina yelled at him which made him back away slightly before she turned back to November. "Why November? I don't know. I was being stupid. It's whatever now. It's over. You're fine. You're with Tori and people who love you. Be happy." Trina said as she turned away and started to walk off with security.

"Do you love me?" November asked.

I watched as Trina turned around and opened her mouth but no words came out before November ran over and wrapped her arms around Trina.

"Hey no touching." The security officer said as he pulled November off of Trina.

November back away as tears fell from her face. "I forgive you mom….. I forgive you." She said twice before I stood up and her hand found mine.

I looked over at Trina who stared at November and then looked over at me with red eyes. Red eyes filled with tears before the security man told her it was time to go and took her away.

It wasn't until we got back to the car that November threw her arms around me and sobbed into my shirt. "She didn't even have an answer." She cried as I let my hand run through her hair.

"I know babe. It'll be okay."

She just nodded as she let go of me and wiped her eyes. "I think I want to be a model." She said completely changing the subject and I'm use to that from November. If she ever feels too uncomfortable she'll change the subject right in the middle of a conversation.

"You do?" I lifted a brow as I opened her door for her.

"Yeah." She smiled before I closed her door and proceeded to mine.

"Well you're a very beautiful girl. I'm pretty positive you could be one." I smiled as I stated the car.

"That would be nice. I'll go to fashion college."

I chuckled. "We'll see what we can kind for you. You have a little ways to go anyways. So just take things slow. Ms. Model."

She smiled big as sat back in her seat.

_Well at least she has something to look forward to…_

* * *

**[Cat's POV]**

**BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG**

I instantly turned off the running water in my bathroom as I listened….

**BANG, BANG, BANG "OPEN THIS DAMN DOOR!"**

_What the heck…?_

I quickly ran from my bathroom with my tooth brush still sticking out of my mouth before unlocking my room door. Before I even got the chance to open it, it swung open itself hitting me in the process.

"IT'S YOUR FAULT!" Isis yelled as she snatched my tooth brush from my mouth, threw it across the room and pushed me hard to the floor causing me to hit my head on the end of my dresser.

I yelped in pain as my hand went to the back of my throbbing head before looking back up at her. "What the heck are you talking about!?"

"I found this sitting in Italy's room on her dresser!" She said holding up the disk with Jade's recoding on it.

_Oh nooooo she wasn't supposed….wait what? In Italy's room?_

"Did you really do it!?"

"…Do wha-"

"- OH DON'T YOU PLAY THAT STUPID SHIT WITH ME! DID YOU CHEAT ON HER!?" She yelled louder as she stomped her foot and smacked the wall.

I opened my mouth as I shook my head and closed my eyes. "…Isis…."

"-I don't want to hear any bull shit! Yes or no!?"

I removed my hand from the back of my head before I stood back to my feet. "You have to let me explain-"

"YES OR NO!?"

"Let me explain-"

"Ughhhh Cat! Shut up! Shut the hell up! Did you cheat on her, yes or fucking no!?"

I threw my head back as I put my hand to my forehead. "Yes and no but she didn't-"

"-So you did, you cheated on her?" She asked in a matter of fact tone as she crossed her arms.

"We were in an argument and I had lef-" I stopped mid-sentence as Isis stepped closer to me giving me a glare I've never seen before. It looked like fire in her eyes, like she was about to kill me on the spot and it scared me.

"Yes." I finally said. "But it wasn't intentiona-" I didn't even get my last words out before she reached over and grabbed the back of my neck before smashing my head into my dresser.

A huge pain shot through my entire head as I fell to the floor.

"I ought to kill you right now." Isis said in a voice that sounded like it came from an angry wild animal.

I didn't even know I was crying until I felt the hot tear slide down my face. My forehead was throbbing so hard I could hear it in my ears. Everything was dizzy as I tried to stand to my feet but failed as I fell right back to the floor.

"I swear if it wasn't for Ikenzie and Italy, I would kill you!" I heard her say through gritted teeth and a cracked voice.

She started breathing loud and paced my room as I laid on the floor with one eye open waiting for the pain in my head to subside.

I heard a loud noise and opened my eye wider to see her knocking everything off my dresser. "You fucking Idiot! You didn't love her did you!? You wanted her to do that! You wanted this to happen! You wanted to hurt her! You want people to think you're all sweet and innocent, YOU'RE NOT! Where the hell did you even get this stupid recording!? Ughhhh I hate you!" She said before I felt a hard kick go to my stomach making me lose my air for a moment.

She screamed and threw the recording at me before leaving the room altogether as I sat in a fetal position and cried in mental and physical pain.

Whyyyy, whyyyy am I going through this!? Whyyy! What have I done to deserve this! What have I done!? Huh!? What the hell have I done!? Someone please tell me!

_Someone please tell me!_

* * *

**[Beck & Tori's Text]**

Beck: Tori?

Tori: What?

Beck: I'm sorry.

Tori: Sorry for What? I'm the one that's sorry.

Beck: No, I'm sorry for running off yesterday. That was rude for me to do after you spilled your heart out, but why didn't you just tell me all that to start?

Tori: I don't know Beck. I guess….I really don't know. I was being stupid. I just wanted to push everything away.

Beck: Tori you can't do that babe. When you push your feelings aside it only makes things worst.

Tori: I can see that now.

Beck:…..I love you.

Tori: I love you too Beck.

Beck: I'm sorry for pushing you guys aside. I guess I was all into my work. I didn't know….I'm really sorry.

Tori: It's okay. I didn't handle things the right way either…

Beck:….it's not your fault Tori.

Tori: You can say that all you want to make me feel better, but you and I both know that it is.

Beck: It's really not. It's not. I know what happened, I might not know every little detail, but what you did is barley even a quarter as to why she did what she did. Jade was already to the edge.

Tori: How would you know that?

Beck: I have a copy of something I want you to hear. Don't let the kids listen to it. I'll bring it by soon.

Tori: What is it?

Beck: You'll see. Have you gotten November? How is she?

Tori: Yeah I got her. She wanted to see Trina, so I took her.

Beck: She did!? How did that go?

Tori: I'll have to explain that all later. But she's doing okay right now.

Beck: Wow….what did she have to say about your new apartment?

Tori: (frowning emoticon) She wasn't happy about that either. She thought it was her fault.

Beck: Oh no. Did you talk to her?

Tori: Yes I told her the split up had nothing to do with her.

Beck:….Do you think it's still best if we stay apart?

Tori: I'm not the one that called that shot.

Beck: I'm sorry Tori, I did it out of anger.

Tori: How about we discuss all this when you come by later?

Beck: Alright. See you then.

Tori: See you.

* * *

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	16. Words of Comfort

Chapter 16

_Words of Comfort_

**[Isis's POV]**

"Move!" I yelled as I pushed a woman out of my way before bursting through the doors of Ms. Carey's office.

"Oh, hello Isis I didn't know...hey…she's with someone….Isis!"

I ignored the lady at the front desk as I stomped all the way down the hall and to the right to Ms. Carey's exact room before turning the door knob to her door that was locked.

"Ughhh!"

**BANG, BANG, BANG**

I took a small step back as I crossed my arms and tapped my foot waiting for her to open her door and soon enough her door came swinging open to her bright smile and happy-go-lucky attitude.

I quickly pushed her out of my way before running over to the young girl sitting in my chair. I yanked her up by her shirt and guided her to the door in which I pushed her out forcefully before slamming it in her face.

"Isis what do you think you're doing!? You can't just come in here and-"

"-It's all her fault! Cat did it! Cat did it! I hate her Carey! I hate her! It's all her fault!" I yelled as I held back tears that were burning my eyes to the max to be set free.

She looked at the door and opened it to the young girl standing outside of it with a look of bewilderment on her face.

"Hey Kathy, I have an emergency, do you think you can wait in the office just for a few minutes. I'm so sorry."'

"It's fine." I heard the young girl say before Carey closed the door again and turned to me with mad eyes. "Never do that again Isis. That's not okay." She stated firmly before walking over to where I stood with my hand running through my hair. "What's going on?"

I let my hand fall as I growled. "Cat cheated on her Carey! That's why she did it!" I said as I flopped down in my comfortable chair.

She sat down right across from me. "Cat cheated on your mother? How do you know this for a fact?"

I sat forward as I covered my face. "I found a recording in my sister's room this morning. It was Jade." I uncovered my face as I sat back and sighed. "I don't know where it came from…but….she told everything on that tape."

"Where do you think it came from? When do you think she recorded it?"

I shrugged. "I don't know Carey! They sounded like her last words or something! I don't know where it came from! It just popped up! But that's not the issue! The issue is that she said some stuff about Cat cheating on her! It's Cat's fault she killed herself!"

"Did she say that on the tape?"

"In so many words yes!" I yelled.

"Did you talk with Cat about it?"

I let out a huge aggravated breath of air. "Yes I did! And she admitted to it! So she got what she deserved!"

"What do you mean she got what she deserved?"

"She got what she deserved. I should have killed her! That's what I should have done! I hate Cat! I fucking hate her! It's her fault my mother isn't here! It's her fault! I never want to see her again!"

"What did you do to her Isis? I know you didn't put your hands on her?"

"I put my hands and feet on her!"

Carey put her head down and grabbed the bridge of her nose as she sighed. "Isis….how many times do I have to tell you, you hurting someone that hurt you will not make a difference? Violence isn't going to fix anything. You're just hurting yourself more. And what was Cat's side of the story? What did she have to say?"

"She said she did it!"

"Did she say why she did it?" Carey looked back up at me.

I opened my mouth but quickly closed it again. "No. She didn't have a reason!"

"Did she not have a reason or did you not let her explain?" She asked and I stayed quiet for a moment before I spoke up.

"She doesn't need a reason! She did it! There's no excuses for that Carey! I don't need any explanations from her!"

"So you didn't ask her why or maybe listen to what she had to say? Instead you were mad and took all your frustrations out on the woman that raised you and cared for you you're entire life without even giving her a second to talk because all that mattered was that she cheated on your mother. Nonetheless, this is something Cat's NEVER done before but you're not trying to see that. In your mind and from what you believe you heard on this tape, that's the one and only reason your mother killed herself? SO it's all Cat's fault. Am I right?"

I looked at her side ways as I didn't speak a word.

"You came in here today pissed, but baby you can't be mad if you don't even know the story? You practically blamed Cat for something that probably isn't even true. Just because your mother said this doesn't mean anything. She could have said it out of anger-"

"-But Cat said she did! She admitted it!" I yelled.

Carey sighed. "Okay, but either way you need to get her side of the story and see what Cat has to say and until you do that, I don't want to speak with you."

"What!?"

She nodded. "I don't want a one sided story Isis. I can't help you with that. I can't be on your side and agree that everything is Cat's fault and talk you through it when in reality it probably isn't. The first day we met you explained Cat to me as a sweet and innocent person. Like a child. I've met Cat, she doesn't seem like she would do anything to hurt anyone intentionally, not even a fly. She's been married to your mother for how many years Isis? Do you really believe she would do something like to hurt her all of a sudden? I know I don't, and I don't even know Cat that well. Talk to Cat, listen to her, and then come back and we can talk. Everything isn't always about you Isis. You need to learn how to listen or someday no one will listen to you." Carey stood up and walked over to her door before opening it. "I'll see you when you've listened and you're ready to talk."

I stood up as I walked slowly to the opened door and walked out before turning back around to her. I opened my mouth to speak words back that actually would make me sound bigger and better but the only word that escaped my lips was, "Whatever."

She shook her head and called for that Kathy girl to return to her room before she closed her door with a sigh.

…_Whatever dude, fuck Cat, it's still her fault._

* * *

**[Cat's & Italy's Phone Convo]**

**RING, RING, RING, RING**

Italy: "Hello?"

Cat: "Italy, where are you?"

Italy: "It was a nice day, I just wanted to take Kemistry to the park."

Cat: "….You don't sound so well. Are you okay?"

Italy: "I'm fine."

Cat: "…You heard it didn't you?"

Italy: (Silent)

Cat: "I'm so sorry baby. You weren't supposed to hear it that way. I was going to sit you, Isis, and Ikenzie down and explain everything after you girls heard it, but I see you guys got to it before I could."

Italy: (sighs) "It's just…wow you know? That's what you kept saying you weren't ready for us to hear when you were talking on the phone with your friends. I always tried to figure it out, but I never could."

Cat: "How did you even know about it?"

Italy: "Ikenzie showed it to me."

Cat: (sighs) "I'm sorry Italy. There's a lot I need to explain."

Italy: "I figured. I didn't want to question you about it but…"

Cat: "Cheating? We'll talk about it okay. It's not what it seems."

Italy: "I was pretty sure of that…..were those really her last words?"

Cat: "…yeah. She had left it in my voicemail. We got it put on disk."

Italy: "….it's so crazy you know? I listened to it about 5 times and…I have so many questions Cat."

Cat: "I know you do. I know Ikenzie and Isis do as well. I will explain I promise."

Italy: "Isis heard it? How did she take that?"

Cat: "…..not well at all. I tried to explain some stuff to her but she wouldn't listen. She was so upset with me…."

Italy: "She didn't hurt you did she?"

Cat: "What would make you think that?"

Italy: "You know how Isis can be when she gets upset. She's very aggressive."

Cat: "….it doesn't matter."

Italy: "Did she hurt you?"

Cat: (silent)

Italy: "Mom?"

Cat: (sighs) "Look, I'll have to get you all together and we'll talk okay babe. I love you so much. You know that Italy right?"

Italy: "Of course I know that. I love you too mom. Where's Isis?"

Cat: "I don't know, she left."

Italy: "I'll be home soon okay."

Cat:"…and Italy…..we have to talk about your responsibilities with your daughter okay?"

Italy: "What do you mean? I'm not a good mother?"

Cat: "Noooo! No I'm not saying that. You are a good mother, we just need to talk about responsibilities okay? That's all."

Italy: "….Okay. See you soon."

Cat: "Bye love."

* * *

**[Beck's POV]**

"….I didn't know." Tori cried a little as I held onto her. "I feel like the biggest bitch right now. Yeah I said it." She said in tears as the recording came to an end.

I wrapped my arms around her tight. "No one would have known. Jade kept everything to herself. It's not your fault Tori. She was already going through a lot pushing her closer and closer to the edge."

"But I gave her that last push." She said with her face buried in my shoulder and I'm not going to lie…..she probably did.

"It's okay Tori. It's not your fault, so stop thinking it is."

She just nodded as she pulled out of my hug and wiped her brown eyes. "I'm sorry for everything Beck."

I reached over and grabbed her hand in mine. "Stop apologizing. You've explained everything. I get it, I understand. You don't have to apologize anymore. I'm sorry too."

She wrapped her arms back around me letting her head rest on my shoulder. "The divorce papers came in today."

"Did you sign them?" I asked and she nodded into me before getting up and retrieving them from a drawer.

"I saw that you had already signed." She said as she handed over the papers. "Now all you have to do is take them back to court." She said with tears in her eyes as she sat back down beside me. "I'm sorry Beck." She said as she turned away from me with a cracked voice and tears running down her face.

"Tori." I called out softly as I looked at the papers. I looked up to see her still faced away from me before I called her name a second time which made her look my way with tears flowing down her face but her voice silent. I reached over and put my finger under her chin as I leaned in and placed a soft kiss on her lips before pulling away.

"I love you Tori."

"I…I love you too. So much Beck. I'm so so-"

"-Ahh, none of that. No more apologizing." I said as I cut her off.

She put her head back down before I lifted the signed papers and tore them in half which made her look back up at me with bewilderment.

"I love you Victoria Marie. I loved you since we were only 17. I married you because you had a huge heart that you always wanted to share with anybody that crossed your path. I loved you because no matter what, you'd always be there and you'd always care. I love you because you are the mother of my kids and the joy of my life. No one can replace you Tori. No one. We have our ups and downs and this was huge down, but I'm not letting you go for this. We all make mistakes right? We learn from them and I believe you and I both will be stronger from this experience and we will grow stronger together because I can't and I won't let you go. You mean so much to me and you have for so, so long. I can't let you go now. Everything will be okay."

Tori held her bottom lip wedged between her teeth before she busted into tears and wrapped her arms around me tight. I pulled her from me before smashing our lips together once more but this time for a more passionate kiss and I swear it's the best kiss I've ever had in my entire life. I love Tori, I'm in love with Tori…what was I thinking?

_It's nothing but brighter days from here on._

* * *

**[Cat's POV]**

_Me: Isis where are you? Please text me back before I call the police to come find you!_

_**Message Sent**_

I sighed loudly.

"Still no answer?" Robbie asked as he walked into the living room with two cups of juice in which one he handed over to me.

"No." I frowned as I took the juice and sipped on it as he took a seat beside me.

I haven't heard from Isis since she left this morning and its now almost 10pm. She won't answer my text and she keeps ignoring my calls. I called Monica to see if she's seen her but even Monica hasn't heard from her and I'm starting to get so worried. What if she's hurt? What if someone kidnapped her, or worst…what is she's done something bad to herself?

I put my glass down before covering my face and sobbing. I can't even imagine what I'd do if something happened to Isis. _Oh goddd._

"Cat…Cat don't cry. I know she's okay." Robbie said before I felt an arm go around me and pull me closer.

I still kept my hands over my face as I cried softly with my head resting on Robbie's shoulder as he whispered words of comfort to me.

_**New Text Message**_

_**Sender: Isis**_

I instantly jumped up and grabbed my phone.

_Isis: I'm fine. Now leave me the hell alone you murder._

I put the phone down before covering my face and crying again. _Maybe I am a murder. It is all my fault._

"Cat stop crying. It's going to be okay." Robbie kept trying to reassure me.

"No it's not! My kid hates me and it's my fault!"

I felt his hand start to rub my back gently. "It's not your fault. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise." He pulled my hands from covering my face before using the bottom of his shirt to wipe my tears away.

I smiled. "Now your shirt's all teary." I said as I wiped the rest of my face off.

He shrugged. "They are usually filled with my own tears anyways."

"Awww. I'm sorry Robbie."

He waved it off. "It's okay Cat. Hey look it's your favorite part." Robbie said as he pointed to the TV.

_**Look at this stuff, isn't it neat?**_

_**Wouldn't you think my collections complete?**_

_**Wouldn't you think I'm the girl, the girl who has everything?**_

I smiled as I wrapped my arms around Robbie and let my head fall to his chest.

_**...I've got gizmos and gadgets a plenty**_

_**I've got whoitz and whatitz galore**_

_**You want thingamabobs? I've got 20**_

_**But who cares, no big deal, I want more**_

I closed my eyes as I listened to the music of my favorite movie and the sound of Robbie's slow heartbeat in my ear.

_**I want to be where the people are**_

_**I want to see, want to see 'em dancing**_

_**Walking around on those, what's that word again? Oh feet**_

_**Flippin' your fins you don't get too far**_

_**Legs are required for jumping dancing**_

_**Strolling along down a, what's that word again? Street**_

"Hold me Robbie? Please?" I asked with my eyes still closed and without a word he laid back slightly and wrapped his arms around me tight. I couldn't get away if I wanted to and that's how I wanted it.

_**Up where they **__**walk**_

_**Up where they run**_

_**Up where they stay all day in the sun**_

_**Wandering free, wish I could be**_

_**Part of that world**_

_I wish all nights ended like this._

* * *

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	17. So Surreal

**So apparently I have someone's child playing in my reviews using other people's screen names? That's so weird...anyways sorry you guys, I have no idea who that is...**

* * *

Chapter 17

_So Surreal _

**[Kaylee's POV]**

_**3 Days Later**_

I sat on the couch with my hands in my lap as I fidgeted around waiting impatiently. I know it hasn't been long at all, but it's felt like years.

A huge smile crept upon my face as I heard keys go into the keyhole of the front door. I stood up and walked slowly to the front door and just waited for it to be opened as I crossed my hands in front of me.

"Yeah, and that's like gas money to the roof." Tori laughed as she walked in with her head turned to dad. She finally turned around and spotted me and once she did her smile disappeared as well as mine.

She frowned as she put two bags down that she carried in her hands before crossing her hands in front of her and furrowing her brows. "I'm so sorry Kaylee." She said after a moment of silence between us.

The smile that was previously on my face started to creep back in as I ran over to her and wrapped my arms around her tight and her doing the same to me. "I'm so sorry baby." She said as she kissed me on my head. "I love you. I never meant to hurt you."

"I've missed you Tori." I said with my chin over her shoulder and her hair slightly in my face. I've missed the smell of her shampoo. Vanilla and a cinnamon mix. It's her smell and I miss it so much.

"I've missed you too Kaylee." She said as she pulled out of my hug and held onto my face. "Please give me another chance?" She said as she wiped away a tear that escaped my eye with her thumb.

I just nodded. "I never gave up on you Tori."

"Stop calling me that. It's mom." She smiled at me in which I threw my arms back around her.

"I love you."

"I love you too. I'm still so sorry." She said as she hugged me tight.

"So how about enough with the mushy stuff and let's get a bite to eat or something, because I'm starving." Dad said as he smiled at the both of us.

"Okay, where's Monica?" Mom asked as she looked around.

"She's out with Isis and Heaven. Isis is sick or something. She's been over here the past couple of days actually."

"She's sick so she came over here to be with my daughter to get her sick too?" Tori asked as she turned to Dad.

"Um, Isis is having some trouble at home with Cat. She'll work it out, give her some time."

She shook her head. "What happened? Is everything okay?"

"Yeah it's fine. They'll work it out. Don't interfere with it Tori. Leave her alone. Leave Cat alone. I know you. You'll make things worse. Don't talk about anything."

She just nodded. "Well, okay." She said as she fixed her purse on her shoulder.

"Well let's go." Dad said as he opened the door after we just stood there for a few moments in silence.

This evening has to be the best evening I've had in years! We ate dinner and just talked and talked and talked about so many great things. Tori actually listens to me now. She listened and asked questions and gave suggestions to anything and everything I had to say and I know I have my mother back. I don't know exactly what Dad did but I'm glad he did it. He found and brought home my mom. I don't know who that witch was that lived here just a few days ago.

The evening ended with all of us going to the park and taking a walk around the lake as we fed the ducks. We just laughed and had a great time. A great family time. Ugh I'm so happy I can't even put it into words.

This is it. This is all I wanted and now I have it. My family. It's back and it's greater than ever.

_Thank You God, thank You…_

* * *

**[Isis's POV]**

"Go on." Heaven said as she and Monica sat in the car with me parked the grave yard.

"This is stupid."

"No, this will help the pain. I promise it will. Go talk to her. She can hear you. I have to run to the store real quick. We'll be right back to get you."

"What!? Y'all not leaving me here with all these dead people!"

She gave me a look as she unlocked my doors. "Go talk to your mother. We'll be right back."

"It'll be fine babe." Monica said as she gave me a kiss on my cheek.

I sighed as I bit the inside of my cheek before forcing her car door open and hopping out. "You're supposed to be here for me, not running to the store and dropping me off at a grave yard!" I yelled to the both of them.

"We are here for you and we're not dropping you off. You need to talk to your mother alone. It's not something we should be holding your hand for. It's okay. We'll be right back. Go ahead." Heaven said as I sighed and closed her door.

I felt them watching me as I walked over to the grave that I've only been to once and even that time I didn't get out of the car. It was for Jade's birthday. Everyone came and put flowers and shit on her grave, but I thought it was all stupid and a waste of time and money. She can't see the flowers or hear when they sang her happy birthday to her. What was the point?

I don't want to do this today, or ever for that matter, but Heaven and Monica insist. Heaven thinks that these dead people can hear you when you talk to them at their grave. She does it all the time with her mother. It's bullshit though. She won't be able to hear me. Why am I here?

I finally came to a stop as I crossed my arms and looked down at the black and grey gravestone that read my mother's name and her years here on earth. It wasn't a big pretty stone or anything, it was just a regular size, nothing special to it.

I listened as I heard Heaven's car drive off and that's when I sighed and let my arms fall before just sitting Indian style in front of her grave.

"Why am I here, seriously?" I asked aloud waiting to hear an answer but I got nothing. "If you could hear me, you'd say something." I said as I stared at the gravestone.

After a moment I just shook my head. "This is so stupid. I feel like an idiot." I said to myself before lying on my stomach with my arms folded in front of me as my chin rested on top.

I closed my eyes as I listened to the birds chirping and the sound of a small water fall just down the street. But I didn't hear my mother. She's not coming through.

"If you can really hear me, just answer this….why did you do it? That's all I want to know. Seriously, why?"

I kept my eyes closed as I listened hard but there was nothing. No sounds, no signs, no anything. I'm here in vain. This is so stupid I can't even say that enough. I feel like one of those stupid idiots that believes in fairytales and supernatural shit. Dead people talking to you doesn't happen in real life. It's all TV and crap and book shit. It's what people want you to believe, but it's not real. So why am I here again? Why did I let them talk me into coming here today? Maybe they are laughing at me. That's why they left, so they can laugh at me make a fool of myself today.

I sighed as I kept my eyes closed and my ears open. This is so stupidddddddddddd!

"_Isis."_

_My eyes flew open as I looked down at her gravestone but I kept quiet. I must have just dreamed that. _

"_Isis." I heard again and I know for sure I heard it, but I don't see anything._

"…_..Jade?" I said as I sat up and looked around but I saw nothing. Monica and Heaven must be playing fucking games with me. I swear I'm going to kill them._

"_Isis, over here."_

_My eyes opened wider. Okay I definitely heard that…_

_I rubbed my eyes and looked straight ahead of me. My heart stopped as my breath got caught in my throat. Everything from my head to my toes froze as I stared unbelievably at the figure in front of me. _

"_J….Jade?" _

_She sat on the other side of her gravestone with her knees up to her chest as she smiled brightly at me. She wore very bright clothes, a dress to be exact. A pretty flowing white dress with her hair in curly locks going down her back. _

"_Fuck, I'm trippin'!" I yelled in fear as I scooted away. _

"_Watch your mouth." She said before she turned around towards me changing her position to Indian style._

"_What's up with you?" She asked me in the same way she used to ask when she knew something wasn't right with me._

"_What's up with me! I'm going fucking crazy that's what up with me!" I said gesturing to her._

_She chuckled. "I don't have much time Isis."_

_I just stared at her. This is a dream…I fell to sleep. I most definitely fell to sleep. I reached down and pinched my side which hurt like hell. No…what is this? Did I die? Am I in a coma or something? Did we get into a car accident?_

"_Baby look at me."_

_I turned my gaze back to Jade in which she reached out her hand and placed it on my face. It was ice cold to the touch but a feeling, some kind of warm indescribable feeling took over my entire body._

"_I can only say this once and I don't have much time. I never meant to hurt anybody. I love all you girls more than I love anything. It's no one's fault but mine. It was just my time. There's no one to blame. There's no question why. It was just my time. _

"_You mean the world to me Isis. I live in you and you alone. You have to take care of yourself baby. Everything is going to be okay I promise you that. Never put your hands on anyone out of anger Isis because in the end you've only hurt yourself. I need you Isis. I need you to take care of Cat for me now okay? She needs you more than anything right now, do you not see it? You're the man of the house now. Step into your place. _

"_I love you Isis, tell your sister's I love them, tell my wife I love her." She said as she removed her hand from my face but the feeling was still there as I stared at her with glossy eyes in plain shock. This is all too real. Her touch, her smell, her appearance. She's here right now, this is happening, this is not a dream and I'm frozen. I can't even move. _

_Finally my brain found out how to work my body once again as I threw myself onto her and she caught me. She caught me! I was in my mother's arms! She's here! She's right here and she's holding me! This is all so surreal. _

"_Don't leave me!" Was all that everything in me could figure out how to say as I sobbed into her._

_I felt her arms go around me tighter as she rocked me back and forth. "I'm not leaving you. I'm always here. Always Isis. I can see you everyday. I can hear you when you talk to me. Promise me you'll be good?"_

_I cried to her as I nodded. "I promise."_

_She pulled out of the hug as her hand went to my face and she stared me in my eyes. Her eyes where so crystal blue. The brightest I've ever seen and I felt as if I could almost see right through them. She was beautiful. "Don't make the same mistakes I've made. I took the easy way out. You're so much stronger than that. Make good decisions and do what is right. Always. You hear me?" She said as she wiped a tear falling from my eye with her thumb as I just nodded._

"_I have to go now Isis."_

_I just shook my head as I sobbed hard. "Please don't go…."_

_She leaned over and gave me a kiss on my forehead before she pulled back. "Our home, my room, in front of the closet, loose floorboard."_

"_What?" I asked with confusion because her words made no sense._

"_It's for your eyes and your eyes only. You keep it and you understand it."_

"_What are you talking about?" I asked as I wiped my eyes._

"_I love you."_

"…_I love you too but what are-"_

"_-Isis!...Isis!..._Isissssss!"

I opened my eyes as I felt my body being shaken hard before my eyes fell on the gravestone right in front of me.

My eyes grew wide as I sat up and looked around to see Monica and Heaven staring at me with concerned eyes.

"Gosh what did you do? Take a sleeping pill?" Heaven asked as she stood back to her feet.

"What?"

"We've been trying to wake you up for the past like 5 minutes, you wouldn't wake up. We were getting worried." Monica said as she put her hand to my back.

"But…you just left…I….what?"

"We were gone for a good 20 minutes." Heaven chuckled. "I see you went to sleep instead of take my advice. I should have known you would do something like that." Heaven said as she crossed her arms.

"No! Nooo!" I screamed as I stood to my feet. "She was here I swear to god!"

"…Who Jade?"

"Who else!" I yelled at Monica who took a step back. "I swear it, I saw her, she was sitting right there!" I pointed in front of the grave.

Monica and Heaven exchanged looks before Monica scratched the back of her head and Heaven smiled. "Well, see….you did talk to her." Heaven stated in a tone that insisted that I had lost my mind. Haven't lost my mind! She was here! She was!

"Heaven she was here! She wasssss! She talked to me, she touched me, I touched her! It was real. I felt her Heaven!"

"…..I believe you." She said simply.

"No you don't!" I sighed as I ran my fingers through my hair. "I swear she was here." I said as tears started to form in my eyes.

"What did she say?" Monica asked.

"A lot of things, that she loved me, and she wanted to me to be good, and take care of Cat, and a lot of other stuff!"

"Sometimes when we want something so bad, we'll have dreams about it. It was a dream Isis. You were just fast asleep." Heaven said as she softened her voice.

"I may have been sleep, but it wasn't a dream!"

"And how much sense did that just make?" Heaven lifted a brow.

"It was a dream Isis." Monica said softly as she put her hand to my arm.

"It wasn't a dream! It was real! I could feel everything!" I yelled as I felt my insides start to boil with anger. I know what I saw, what I heard, what I smelled, what if felt! It was real!

Monica sighed as Heaven nodded. "Okay. Well I'm glad you talked with her. Do you feel any better?"

I pushed Heaven out of my way as I stomped all the way to her car and got in with a slam of her door.

"Isis! What's wrong?" Monica said as she ran after me and looked through my open window.

"You guys don't believe me! You think I'm crazy or something! I'm not crazy!" I said pointing to myself as tears fell from my eyes. "I know what I fucking saw okay! My mother was there! She touched me and I felt her! She held me, she talked with me! She was there! I might sound crazy, but I'm not Monica, I'm not! She was there!" I yelled before I turned away from her and put my seat belt on.

I felt a soft hand go to my face. "I believe you Isis." She said in one of the most caring voices I've ever heard.

She opened my door, reached over and undid my seatbelt before pulling me from the car and hugging me tight. "I'm sorry."

I wrapped my arms back around her tight as I started to sob into her shoulder. I felt another set of arms wrap around me from behind. "I'm sorry Isis." Heaven whispered from behind me.

I finally collected myself before getting back into Heaven's car and leaving the grave yard.

I don't care what they believe. I know what I saw and heard. My thoughts keep going back to her words, "_Our home, my room, in front of the closet, loose floorboard."_ There must be something there, but what is it? How am I supposed to get it….we don't even live there anymore.

I sighed.

Maybe….maybe I am going crazy you know? That didn't happen. Did it? Maybe it was a huge dream. It was all a dream, she wasn't there. Was she? I have to check the old house. I have to. Something has to be there. I will go on my own tomorrow. I bet there's something there.

_I have to see._

* * *

**[Cat's & Robbie's Text]**

Robbie: Hiya Cat!

Cat: Hiiiiiiii

Robbie: Whatchu up to?

Cat: Not much.

Robbie: Cat….I was wondering…you know if you wanted to, you know….go out tomorrow or something?

Cat: Sure Robbie, go out where?

Robbie: You know.

Cat: I know?

Robbie: Like on a date or something?

Cat:….a date?

Robbie: Yeah, nothing serious. Just…a playdate… like a movie and dinner maybe.

Cat: So you want to go on a pretend date?

Robbie: It can be real, if you want it to be?

Cat: Haha Robbie you're so gross! Okay.

Robbie: Okay meaning you'll go on a date with me?

Cat:...I don't know Robbie...

Robbie: It's nothing serious. I know you are still healing. It's just to get you out, ya know?

Cat: Sure Robbie. I'll go on a date with you.

Robbie: Do you still think I'm gross?

Cat: You are gross Robbie.

Robbie: …Um….I kind of take that as a…insult.

Cat: What's that supposed to mean!?

Robbie: Nothing I…. I'll see you at 6pm tomorrow?

Cat: Okay Robbie.

Robbie: Alrighty then. See you.

Cat: Bye.

* * *

**Thanks for reading guys!**_  
_

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Sad to say this story will be ending soon, but I have started a new story. It's not a future fiction, they actually start off as kids themselves. I might post it later...who knows?**

**Anyways...so yeah.**


	18. Wake Up & Step Up

Chapter 18

_Wake Up & Step Up_

**[Isis's POV]**

"Where are you going?" Monica asked me as she turned over in her bed still half asleep.

"I'll be back okay. I have to take care of something." I told her as I put on my shoes and grabbed my keys.

She just nodded before telling me she loves me and me returning the love before heading out of her house.

I couldn't sleep at all last night. My mind just kept replaying and replaying the _dream _I had at the graveyard. It…I still can't understand how that could have been a dream. Never in my life have I felt something so real from a dream. I could feel everything, I could see everything, I could smell everything. It's as if I were wide awake. And I still believe in some way that I was. My mother was there, it was real. I don't care how crazy anyone thinks I am. I know what I saw. She was there.

I pulled up to the old home we all used to share as I just sat in my car staring at it from the street. A new family lives here now. I can tell by the new decorations in the front yard and the one car parked in the driveway.

I haven't set foot in that house since that day and I never planned on doing it again, but I have to see what's in there. I have to see what's under the floorboard. Maybe it's nothing? Ugh what if everything I saw was all a fake? What if I did just imagined it? Maybe my mind was just telling me what I wanted it to. The things I wanted to see, my mind played tricks on me. If there's nothing there then that would prove it. It would prove that everything was a fake. I won't know unless I go check it out. The only problem that would stand in my way now, is this family not letting me into their home.

I took a huge breath as I exited my car and closed my door before walking up the front door as slowly as possible. Flashes of that day kept popping into my mind as I kept seeing the covered stretcher being pulled from this front door and into an ambulance. My heart started to ache more and more with each step that I took the closer and closer that I got. But I made it. I made it to the front door and I knocked gently before knocking a bit harder.

The door almost instantly swung open to a young girl, maybe 12, with a smile on her face. "Hello? Are you Wren's friend?" The younger girl asked as I shook my head.

_The hell is Wren?_

"Is your mother here?" I asked quietly. I feel so wrong about asking to come into their home to look under their floorboards. This is awkward.

"No, but my older sister is. Hang on I'll go get her." The little girl said before she left the door open and ran back into the house yelling for her sister.

I couldn't help but peak into the living room that used to belong to us, but it looked nothing like how we had it. Everything was arranged differently with new furniture and new carpets and…_Oh fuck! They put carpets in the house!_

"Hello?" I snapped out of my daydream as I turned to a girl that looked just like an older version of the smaller girl that I just spoken with a few moments ago.

_Be polite Isis. _I cleared my throat as I extended my hand. "Hi, I'm Isis."

The girl took my hand as she said "Wren." Before crossing her arms and looking at me with confusion. "May I help you Isis?"

"..Uh…I um, I use to live here a while ago and I have….there's something that I left here, under the floor, and it's really, really important to me so I was wondering if I can get it and that's all."

"Under the floor?" She lifted a brow.

"Yeah, it's under the floorboard in the third room on the right upstairs in front of the closet. I just want to get it and leave."

"Excuse me, who are you again?" She asked as she shifted feet.

"My name is Isis, I used to live here."

She looked at me sideways for a moment. "Isis West-Valentine?"

My eyes widen as I nodded. "Yeah, how'd you know?"

Her look of confusion disappeared as a small smile took over her face. "Well in my room there's a huge _Isis West-Valentine In This Bitch_ carved into my closet door I'm guessing the painters decided to just look over it."

I scratched the back of my head. "Yeah…well um-"

"-I heard the story on the people that lived here before us. Is it true that a lady killed herself in here?" She laughed.

I dropped my hand as I started to play with my fingers in front of me. "…Well yeah, it was…my, my mom."

She gasped as her hand went to her mouth and her eye brows furrowed. "Oh my god, I'm so sorry! I didn't actually believe it was true! I thought it was some stupid rumor the neighbors made up to be funny."

I just shook my head as I put it down. "Yeah well it's not a rumor."

"I'm so sorry. C'mon in." She said as she opened the door wider and stood to the side. I thanked her as I walked in and instantly the smell of the house filled my nose. Even though there are new people living in here the smell of the house is still the same. And oh god I miss it. I miss our family the way it used to be, I miss my mom.

"You can go ahead." Wren said as she gestured upstairs. "It's my mom's room now but she's not here. She's on her way home."

I just nodded as I walked slowly up the stairs still trying so hard to keep the memories out of my head of the horrible day. I still can see Andre sitting at the top of the stairs, I can still feel my heart drop as the men in suits walked around the house and as I walk further up the stairs I could see the yellow, don't cross, tape going across her room door and before I knew it I was standing outside her door that was closed.

My eyes stayed closed tight as I shake my head trying not to see her face, how pale it was, how hurt her eyes were.

I opened my eyes and took a breath as I turned the knob of the room which thank god it was 100% changed around. I could barely recognize it and that's how it should be. It keeps the bad memories at a minimum.

I cussed under my breath as I noticed the new carpeting that had been put down. Our house used to have wooden floors, what made them want it carpeted!

_It still had to be here…_

I walked over in front of the closet as Wren and her little sister peaked in. I carefully walked in a straight line walking backwards on my tip toes as I heard the wooden floors creek beneath my feet, but I didn't feel a loose one. I then moved an inch over and did the same thing over and over until finally my toe sank in a little as the carpet rose up.

_Yes!_

I took off my bracelet and put it down where the floorboard came loose so I wouldn't lose the spot before running to the corner and pulling back the carpet easily until I pulled it back far enough to where the floorboard was and removed my bracelet.

I took a breath as I pushed down and reached my hand into the dark hole before grabbing onto what felt like a small book and I instantly yanked it out.

There in my hands was an all-black with dark red linings medium size book that read, _My Diary _in my moms hand writing.

A tear slipped from my eye as I held the thick book to my heart. I can't believe it. It was real. She led me to this, my mother….she was there. I can't explain the feeling that's taking over me right now. There are absolutely no words to describe it, but it feels so damn good… so warming, so ughhh so….indescribable.

"What's going on in here?" I heard an older woman's voice say before I quickly wiped my eyes and turned to stand.

"Who is this? And what have you done to my carpet?"

"I'm sorry." Was all I could figure out how to say at the moment as I tried to gather my emotions that just got spread all over the place.

"This is Isis mom. She's one of the girls that lived here before us. The story is true." Wren told her mother before the green eyed, black haired lady turned to me.

"I'm sorry to hear that. But what's going on in here?"

"I….I had left something…of, my mother's in here. I needed to get it. It's important to me. I'm putting your carpet back right now." I said as I set the diary on a dresser before pushing the carpet back to where it belonged. "Thanks. I should be going now." I said as I retrieved the diary and started to head out.

"Hey, don't you go to Hollywood Arts?" Wren asked as I walked passed her.

I turned back around to her and nodded. "How'd you know? You go there?"

She shook her head. "No, well not anymore. I graduated last year and I saw you perform at the showcase. Very good."

I smiled. "Thanks."

I watched as her mother came up behind her and smiled. "You two should hang out sometimes, Wren doesn't know many people around here since she's not in school right now and we haven't really gotten around to much since we just moved in last month."

I smiled. "I'd love to show you around sometime."

"No fair." The smaller girl spoke up as she crossed her arms.

I laughed. "You can come too. I have a little sister around your age."

Their mother smiled. "See, you guys are already making friends."

Wren rolled her eyes as she shook her head playfully.

We talked for a little bit longer before we exchanged numbers and I left the house with all my mother's secrets in my hands. As soon as I got into my car I couldn't stop myself from opening the first page. The diary looked old and very worn out, but the written script was very clear and easy to read.

_July 26__th__, 2002_

_ Uh, hey diary. I just got you today for my 9th birthday at summer school today. My teacher always says I keep in too many of my feelings and that I should start to write them down so she got me you. She said that it'll make me feel better, so I said why not? I'm not doing anything else right? Well except being beaten by my parents during my free times. Good thing they aren't home right now. They left me in charge of my 4 year old little sister Jewel while they went out for dinner. Jewel is a good girl though. She's sitting quietly in the corner playing with a few sticks I collected for her from outside. Why is she playing with sticks? Because that's her only toys. Mom says toys are for the unfortunate and that we don't need any. I'm not sure what she means. The last time I brought in sticks for Jewel to play with Dad took them from her and beat me with them. He said never bring in those dirty things from outside again, but I don't care. They make Jewel happy and if I get in trouble for her being happy, then so be it. I'll do anything to try and keep a smile on her face because smiling doesn't exist in this family. We get in trouble if we smile. Oh you don't believe me? Yesterday I got beat with an extension cord because I laughed too loud at something on T.V., then I got beat again for even watching T.V. in the first place right after Mom said I could. I just don't understand my parents and I never will. Oh and I can't tell, because they'll kill us. I don't want to die. And I definitely don't want my little sister to die. I mean it's not as bad as it sounds. I've learned to live with it and so has Jewel, it just gets tiring sometimes you know? We'll get away from here someday, I promised Jewel that and I have to keep my promise …..I hope they remember today is my birthday. It's almost 10pm and they still have yet to tell me happy birthday or anything. They probably won't and that's okay. Birthdays are stupid anyways right? Well, whatever. I don't care and I'm tired of writing. I'll talk to you some other time. Bye._

My hand went to my heart as tears fell from my eyes softly falling down onto the diary which I moved out of my way so I wouldn't ruin it. _Is this stuff true? Did this actually happen? Is this how my mother was treated as a child? Where is Jewel now? Why haven't we ever met her? _

I just have question after question and I'm sure all the answers are in this diary. That was only the first page of what seems to be hundreds. I can't believe this. She led me to this, she wants me to know and no one else. _Me._

I just put the book aside as I started to sob into my steering wheel. I do, I do have to step up. I can't believe I blamed Cat. I can't believe I've been treating her the way that I have. She does need me. _Isis you are so stupid! Why would you treat her the way that you have!? Ughhh!_

Jade's so disappointed in me. I just….I don't know what I was thinking! I'm so stupid! I'm sorry!

I immediately sat up and started my car before putting it in drive and speeding home. I have to apologize to her. I have to listen to her. She needs me. We all need each other.

_It's time to wake up and step up Isis._

* * *

**[Cat's POV]**

I giggled hard as I covered my face during dinner. "Robbie!" I laughed more as he tried hard to clean his drink off his clothes that he knocked all over himself.

"Man, these are my favorite jeans." He pouted as he sat back down in his coke covered jeans and pouted.

I laughed more as my stomach started to hurt from how idiotic he could be. Robbie is so funny. He's been having me laughing all night. We first went to go see a movie. It was a cartoon comedy. He preferred something more, romantic, but I don't want that. I wanted something entertaining. We are on a play date, not a serious one.

He then tried to take me to an expensive restaurant in which I refused once again and we ended up at Nozu's. He seems very nervous for some odd reason and when I questioned him about it he shook it off and said it was nothing before spilling his drink all over himself. Which I found quite amusing.

"C'mon let's go." I told him as I pulled out my wallet to pay for my meal but he stopped me.

"I got it Cat." He said pulling out his own wallet.

"No Robbie, I'll pay, you paid for the movies."

"And I'll pay for dinner." He stated putting a $20 and putting it on the table in which I took and put back in his hands before throwing down my own $20. "I got it." I said before putting my wallet back in my purse and standing up.

I heard him sigh and agree before following me out.

After dinner Robbie drove me to the ocean that wasn't far from Nozu's as we sat on the end of the dock and had our feet in the water. It was so beautiful. The night sky was amazing, filled with bright stars and a beautiful full shining moon.

I have to admit I haven't had this much fun in a long time. It feels good to just sit back and relax and just be happy for once. Yes, I'm happy tonight, a genuine happy. And I'm so glad I have a good friend to make me smile.

"It's so pretty isn't it?" Robbie asked me as I felt his hand creep over and into mine and I smiled.

"Yep."

We both sat in silence for a while as we just listened to the crickets chirp and the sounds of the waves being pushed through the ocean.

I closed my eyes for a moment as I just took it all in, it feels good.

"…Cat." I heard Robbie say in a low voice in which I opened my eyes and turned to him.

"Yes Robbie?"

"Can I tell you a secret?" He asked me seriously.

I smiled as I nodded. "Sure Robbie, what is it?" I asked turning my ear to him, but I felt his hand go to my chin and turn my face around towards him and that's when it registered in my mind what he was about to do and all in a quick moment I pushed him. I didn't mean to push him as hard as I did, but he ended up in the water.

"Robbie!" I yelled over the dock with my heart beating out of control.

He finally popped back up and climbed back onto the dock soaked and wet and I felt extremely bad. "Robbie I didn't mean to-"

"-Cat! Why did you do that!?" He yelled at me in a tone that I wasn't used to coming from him, which made me scoot away from him a bit as I bit my nails.

"I'm sorry." I apologized at the verge of tears.

"Now I'm all dirty!"

I covered my face as I began to cry softly. I didn't mean to get him dirty. I didn't mean to push him so hard. It was an accident.

I heard a soft sigh come from him as I felt his presence come closer to me. "I'm sorry Cat, I didn't mean to yell at you." He said as he put a hand to my back.

I wiped my eyes as I looked up at him. "I didn't mean to push you in. I just wanted to push you away."

"But why?" He asked.

I put my head down. I don't want to hurt his feelings, but I'm just not ready for this. …Jade, it's only been 9 months and… and not only am I not ready, I only see Robbie as a best friend. A very close best friend. I could never seriously date him.

"..I'm sorry Robbie….it's just….."

"You don't like me Cat?"

"Nooo, no I do Robbie, it's just that….you're my best friend. You always have been my best friend even though we lost contact for a long while, but you're still the same person. I feel that I can run to you for my problems and have you hold me when no one else will but I just don't look at you no more than just as my friend and….I can't Robbie, I'm so sorry."

He looked down for a moment before he nodded and stood up.

"Robbie?" I said as I stood up as well but he just continued his walk to the car and got in and waited for me to join.

The ride home was in silence. I could tell I hurt him so much by how quiet he was and how his eye brows furrowed every now and then like he was trying to hold in a cry.

I hate that I hurt him. I didn't mean it I swear. I just….I don't like Robbie, I don't. He's my friend and that's all I can ever make of him. I told him this before. I told him this when we first started talking again, so he wouldn't think I was trying to talk to him in that way, but he still tried and now it ended badly.

He finally pulled up to my house and exited the car before helping me out of my side even though I could tell he wasn't too happy. He still walked me up to the front door and told me goodnight before he started to walk away but I grabbed his arm and pulled him back.

I leaned up and placed my lips on his giving him a very small kiss before I pulled away. "I love you Robbie. I'm so sorry if I hurt you. I hope that we can still be good friends. I need you." I said grabbing onto his hand.

He sighed as he nodded. "Of course I'll be your friend Cat. I'm sorry too."

I gave him a small smile and a kiss on his cheek before telling him goodnight in which he told me the same before he walked back to his car and pulled off into the night as I sighed.

_I hope I didn't hurt him too much._ I though as I unlocked my door and walked into the house.

"Cat!"

My eyes widen as Isis jumped from the couch and sprinted towards me. She threw her arms around me tight almost knocking me over as she sobbed into my shoulder and my heart started to beat out of control.

"What happened!? Is everything okay!?" I asked as I pulled her off of me.

She just nodded as she cried and put her hands to my face. "I'm so sorry mom. I'm so sorry I hurt you. I'm sorry I haven't been here, I'm so sorry for blaming you. I'm sorry." She said before throwing her arms around me again. "I can't even imagine what pain I've caused you. I'm so sorry! I love you so much!"

I weakened in her arms and wrapped my arms back around her as tears filled my eyes. "It's okay baby."

She pulled away from me as she put her hands back to my face and wiped my small tears with her thumbs. "Things are going to be different from now on. I know what my job is. I'm sorry."

I'm not exactly she what she meant but I just took it as she hugged me again. I'm just glad I didn't have to come after her begging for her to come home. She's done it on her own. I guess she realized something.

I'm just so tired. Physically and mentally.

_I need a another break._

* * *

**Thanks for reading! **

**PLEASE REVIEW!**


	19. Interesting

**Hey guys there's a lot of time skips in this chapter so make sure to see those. ;)**

* * *

Chapter 19

_Interesting _

**[Cat's POV]**

_**2 Weeks Later**_

I took a breath as I sat down on the couch beside Isis who immediately grabbed onto my hand. I flashed her a small smile before turning my attention to my girls who sat in front of me with readiness to listen to each and every word that I have to say about her. They're so ready to hear all those unanswered questions that have been flying about in their heads since they've all listened to the tape, since the accident for that matter. And I'm ready to tell them what Jade had been through. I'm ready to tell them everything that I know and that's still not everything. Jade kept so much secret from me and I don't believe she let everything known to anybody but herself. All I know is what I forced out of her and what I saw and figured out on my own and they have to know. I have to tell them.

I sighed. "Okay….I don't even know where to start." I gave a nervous laugh to try and ease things but it didn't work. It still hurts me to have to talk about this, but not near as much as it used to, but I can do it for my girls.

"Just start from the beginning." Ikenzie said as she sat forward crossing her hands in front of her and I just nodded.

"Okay." I sat back and closed my eyes as I replayed in my mind the first time that I ever met Jade in the store that day when we were only five and how her mother treated her that day, and how I failed to tell anyone. I started there and I talked and talked and talked. I shared story after story going through the years of Jade's life how I knew it. They had so many questions almost every minute and I answered them to the best of my ability.

"So you….cheated on her because you were mad?" Italy asked as I finally got closer and closer to the point of the story where Jade just let go.

"No. No." I stated calmly as I shook my head and put it down. I sighed. "I was just fed up you know? She had hurt me so much, so, so much. I stuck around for all these years and…she wasn't getting better. It seemed like she was actually getting worst. And I was just…tired. I couldn't take much more. I asked her and begged her to get help, but she refused, she wouldn't do it and….I gave up on her." I said as my eyes filled with tears for the 100th time today, but the difference about these tears is that they actually escaped my eyes this time.

I felt my hand being squeezed by Isis as she whispered to me telling me it's not my fault. And it's crazy because just weeks before she would have sworn to her grave that it was my fault.

I sniffed before I continued. "…She trusted me. She did. I'm not exactly sure what I did that night to make her so upset with me, but she hurt me so bad for the last time and…I left. I felt that if I didn't, she was going to kill me soon, very soon. It was getting to that point." I said as the tears that fell from my eyes started to increase in speed.

"I loved Jade. I still do. I love her with everything I have in me! I just couldn't take it anymore." I paused for a minute as I looked down and played with my fingers.

"Tori. She was there….she was always there. I told you how she kept trying to get me to leave, but I wouldn't. She just wanted what was best for me and I understood that. Tori's a very sweet lady. She is. She always has been….well I'm not sure what's happened lately, but she's known as a sweet girl.

"I wasn't at all in a healthy relationship and I had to admit that to myself. It was dangerous, I was unhappy, I didn't feel loved, I felt insecure about myself, I felt unpretty, it was horrible for me. But I stayed because I was in love with her.

"So like I said I left, I told myself I was done, that I wasn't coming back. I couldn't deal with anymore. I hated that I knew it would hurt her, but I thought maybe that would open her eyes. And I thought maybe she'd change if I left. And then I'd come back to a new Jade, or maybe I wouldn't come back at all.

"I was sick, I was very sick mentally. My mind was weak, my body was weak. I had nothing. I felt like I meant nothing to Jade. I felt like she didn't love me the way that I loved her and I understood that. Maybe Jade didn't know how to love? I didn't know. I just….I needed something. I don't know….

"Never, never, never, ever, ever, ever did I ever have the intentions on going to Tori's house and doing what I did with her that night. I just needed a place to stay for a little bit so I could get my mind right and Jade could too. But…..Tori….Tori she….she showed me something I never knew. She made me feel a way that I never felt. She spoke words to me that meant so much that went straight to my heart. She made love to me. And….it was beautiful. It was so beautiful. She made me feel so beautiful, so wanted, so loved so secure. She made me feel everything Jade hadn't in 19 years in one night. And I knew it was so wrong, but it felt so right. So good. I needed this. I needed it sooooo bad. I didn't….I should have, but I didn't tell her to stop. I felt amazing.

"It wasn't until that morning that I woke up that I realized what I had done. I'm not a cheater! I'm not! But I was. Oh I so was. I had to tell Jade. I easily, so easily could have kept it all a secret. I could have went back to her, got a beating, and pretended everything was cool. But I had to tell her, because I'm not a liar. I knew it would hurt her, but I had to." I said as I covered my face and begin to sob.

"But she hurt you too." I heard Italy say from in front of me with a cracked voice.

"It still doesn't make it right." I cried into my hands as I felt Isis's arm go around me with a sigh.

"I promised her I'd never hurt her guys! I did, and I hurt her. I hurt her so much! It's my fault. It is. I can't keep saying it's not. I can't let you guys convince me that it's not. It is. I'm not sure exactly how long after I told her what I did that she took her own life, but it's what I did that made her do it! If I hadn't of ever went to Tori's house, she'd still be here! It's. All. My. Fault." I cried hard.

"No." I heard Isis whisper in my ear. "She'd still be gone."

I turned to her with tears still falling from my eyes. "What?"

She wiped away a single tear that escaped her own eye. "It was just her time. She was going to die somehow either way. She just did it on her own. It's not your fault. It's no one's fault. She said there's no one to blame. She said it was just her time."

"What do you mean she said?" I said as I turned more to her.

She sighed as she looked at me and then over at her sisters before looking down. "….You guys are going to thing I'm a nutcase, but I'm not. She spoke to me. I saw her. She was there. I touched her, she touched me. She held me, she was there. She told me it's no one's fault. She told me it was her time. She told me to tell you guys she loves you." She said looking up at Italy and Ikenzie before turned her gaze to me. "She told me to tell you she loves you Cat. She told me to take care of you. And I am."

"….I don't believe that…" Ikenzie said as she sat back.

Isis shot her a glare. "And you don't have to. I don't give two fucks what you believe! I know what I saw and I know what I felt okay, so fuck you!"

"Hey!" I said as I grabbed onto Isis's face and turned her towards me.

I just shook my head as tears fell softly. "…Really?" Was all that came from my mouth in a breath and she just nodded.

I wrapped my arms around her tight. I believe her. I believe her 100%. But why won't she come to me? Why won't Jade talk to me? That would make my life. If I could have just one more conversation with her. If I could be in her arms just one more time. If I can hear her say I the words "I love you" in my ear one last time. I need it. _Jade….come to me! Talk to me! I need you!_

I pulled out of her hug before putting my hands to her face and my forehead against hers. "I love you Isis." I turned to my girls and opened my arms in which they both came over and wrapped their arms around Isis and I both in a big group hug.

"I love you girls. I'm so sorry for everything that's happened. But we are strong, and we've made it this far and we can make it together until this whole thing is so light on our hearts we can still smile everyday."

We all smiled as we held each other tight and I knew from now on I know for a fact that everything will be okay.

* * *

**[Cat's & Tori's Phone Convo]**

_**2 Months Later**_

**RING, RING, RING**

Cat: "Hello?"

Tori: "…..Cat, hi."

Cat: "Tori?"

Tori: "Um, yeah…..how are you?"

Cat: "….I'm doing fine."

Tori: "…That's so good Cat."

Cat: "Why are you calling me Tori? What is it that you want from me?"

Tori: "….Cat….I'm sorry. I just, I wanted to apologize for everything. I….I didn't mean it. The way I treated you, and…I know it's been so long, but I kept putting it off because I was scared to talk to you and…I was just being a jerk, and I was being stupid and….It was so rude and unlike me to-"

Cat: "-I forgive you Tori."

Tori: "…what? You do?"

Cat: "Yes."

Tori: "….why? Aren't you upset with me or something?"

Cat: "No Tori, because I moved on. I mean….it'll be a whole full year in just 3 weeks. Forget it all. It's in the past, you apologized. It's behind us. It was tough, but it is behind us."

Tori: "…..So, that's it?"

Cat: "Do you expect something else?"

Tori: "No, no I just. I was so ready to explain my behavior to you and why I acted the way I did."

Cat: "You don't have to Tori. I knew you weren't the regular you. I'm sorry for whatever changed you, but I'm glad you're back. I don't want to talk about anything negative. I just want to be happy and I want to smile. You should too Tor. I'm fine. I'm happy now."

Tori: "Um, okay Cat….Thanks. And that's so great for you."

Cat: "Thank you for calling."

Tori: "I was going to come to your house, but I was afraid you'd kick me off your property."

Cat: "You know I wouldn't do that Tori."

Tori: "Okay….so I was afraid to come. I really thought you hated me to death."

Cat: "Well I don't. It's over. We should hang out sometimes, like old times. Old, old times."

Tori: "Okay. That would be cool."

Cat: "How's Beck and the kids?"

Tori: "Everyone is doing great. How about you guys?"

Cat: "We are all doing fine. And this time it's not a lie."

Tori: "That's so great to hear."

Cat: "Well I have to talk to you another time okay Tor? Keep in touch. Love you."

Tori: "I…I love you too Cat."

Cat: "Thanks for the apology. Byee."

Tori: "Bye."

* * *

**[Isis's POV]**

_**1 Month Later**_

"I still think it's so stupid how you lived all the way across town, but you went to Hollywood Arts. That's a long ass drive." I said to Wren as I took a huge gulp out of my soda. We all sat on my front porch waiting for her mother to come and get her since her car just decided it wasn't going to start. Now it's stuck in my parking space until they get a toe truck to move it.

She laughed. "It wasn't stupid. I loved that school."

"Who doesn't?" Monica laughed as she leaned her head on my shoulder.

Wren is a cool kid. Well she's like 19, but still she's really cool, especially to be hanging around a bunch of 16 & 17 year olds. She says the friends she had were dicks. They were to hyper and off the wall for her. I can't blame her. I hate those types of people too. It's like…sit down and shut the hell up right?

"Hey Isis, have you seen my car keys? I can't find…oh thanks!" Cat giggled as she took the keys I held up for her in my hands.

"Why do you have them?"

"You told me to move your car so Wren could park remember? But you're kind of stuck in until the toe truck gets here."

"Oh poo!" She pouted as she flopped down on the porch chair beside me.

"Your hair is getting really dark? Want me to dye it again?" I asked as I looked at the dullness of it.

She giggled as she shook her head. "I think I like it darker."

_Well that's a first…._

"Oh, there's my mom." Wren said as she stood to her feet.

Her mother pulled up in front of the house before she exited her car with a huge smile and walked across the yard and to the porch where we all sat.

"Are you ready?" She asked her daughter who nodded before she turned to me and smiled.

"Well hello Isis, and-" She stopped once she looked over to Cat who stood to her feet with a huge smile.

"Hiiiiii!" Cat waved.

"Oh hey Ms. Collens this is my mother Cat." I introduced her.

"Oooh, Hi Cat. It's pleasure to finally meet you. Sorry I've been running around and never could meet the parents of my daughter's friends." She said as she extended her hand in which Cat took immediately with a smile.

"It's fine. I love to have Wren and Gina over. You have the sweetest girls!"

"Thank you. Isis isn't too bad herself." Ms. Collens looked over at me and winked because she definitely knows I'm a handful.

"Hey Wren go tell your sister your mom is here. Her and Ikenzie are upstairs in her room." I told Wren as her eyes widen.

"Oh! I forgot she was here." She laughed before she disappeared inside the house.

"So have you gotten around much since you've been here?" Cat asked as she crossed her arms and tilted her head letting her ponytail fall to the side and down her shoulder.

"Mm not too much. I've been so busy with work. I need to get around more. I have some off days coming up. I know for sure I'm going to a spa. I just have to find one."

"Oh my gosh, I loves spas! I know where the best one in town is! Look! I got my nails done there not too long ago!" Cat lifted her hand to Ms. Collens who grabbed onto her hand and inspected her nails.

"Ooooh those are really nice." She smiled.

"I know! It was so cheap too! You'd love it!"

Ms. Collens shrugged. "How about we go together?" She suggested as she still held onto Cat's hand that was now lowered in front of them.

I watched as Cat giggled and nodded. "Sure! That would be so much fun!"

I turned my gaze to Italy who was watching the exact same thing I was watching from across the porch before she turned her gaze to me and gave me that _are you thinking what I'm thinking smile_ and I just nodded before turning back at them.

"Well we have to get going." Ms. Collens said and that's when she finally decided it was the best time to let go of Cat's hand, not after she inspected her nails, but when it's time to go.

_Can you say, "Hand holding excuse."?_

As if on que, Gina came running out of the house with Wren right behind her before they both waved and walked down to their mother's car with "byes, and I'll see you laters".

"Here let me give you my number." Cat said as she reached into Ms. Collens pocket and pulled out her phone for her before putting her number into it and handing it back with a smile.

Ms. Collens gave her a side smile before turning and walking off the porch to her car.

"Bye Ms. Collens! See you soon!" Cat smiled and waved.

"Oh." She said as she turned around from her car. "Call me Kat." She laughed.

"What!?"

She laughed again. "My name is Katherine. Back at home they called me Kat."

_Well isn't that something…._

"OH MY GODDDD! Another Cattttttt! That is so cool!" Cat giggled as she clapped her hands and jumped up and down.

Katherine laughed as she hopped into her car, waved and drove away.

_Mmmmm, interesting…_

* * *

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	20. Happy People Don't Cry

Chapter 20

_Happy People Don't Cry_

**[Cat's POV]**

"Oh yay! She's here!" I jumped off the window sill before running over to give my kids hugs and kisses. "I'll be back to help put up the Christmas tree okay! Don't bake cookies or anything without me!" I waved as I grabbed my jacket and rushed out of the door.

"Hey Cat!" Kat said as she stood outside her car with one foot still inside.

"Hiiiii!" I ran across the yard and over to her car before hopping in the passenger's seat and her sliding back into her own.

"That's a pretty dress." Kat said as she put on her seatbelt and admired my dress.

I smiled as I tugged on the ends. "Thanks, Isis bought it for me a little while ago."

She kept a smile on her face but her brows furrowed. "It's kind of chilly for it though don't you think?"

I gasped. "Well what's that supposed to mean!?"

She opened her mouth but no words came out before she just blinked and shook her head. "Uh…nothing, just that it's kind of breezy and….nothing." She smiled before starting the car up, putting it in drive and driving away. "So which way Cat?"

"Just make a right at the light." I giggled. "That rhymed."

She gave a low laugh before glancing at me. "Are you alright? You seem kind of….hyper?"

"Oh, sorry! I'm just so excited. I haven't been out much with anyone since…." I took a breath as I put my head down.

_No, no, no I told myself I'm not going to think about it. Everything is okay now. Everyone is happy. I'm happy. I'm happy. I'm happy. _

"…Since what?"

I sighed. I don't want to talk about it. I really don't. I mean I'm okay to talk about it, it's just….I don't want to unless I just have to.

"…Nothing." I shook my head before glancing out of the window. I look at all the Christmas decorations that are set up around Hollywood as I watch people run in and out of stores with presents for their loved ones as we pass by.

This will be the first Christmas without her. I don't know how hard it's going to be, especially putting up the tree with my girls and someone's missing. I felt tears start to fill my eyes and I growled at myself for letting that happen. I keep telling myself that I'm ready to move on and make new friends and maybe even…even date if I find the right person. I just can't take much more of the lonely empty filling. It's been exactly 1 year and 18 days since she's been….gone. No, I'm not counting.

"Make a left at the stop sign." I said with my head still turned to the window.

"Are you alright Cat? You just went from all Hyper Pyper to Sad Sarah. What's up?"

I just shook my head. "I'm fine."

Maybe I'm not ready to get out of the house and move on? Maybe I'm moving way too fast. I had a long talk with Robbie about how to change bad hurt to good hurt. He was explaining how instead of thinking about Jade with tears in my eyes and a frown on my face, I should think about the great times I spent with her. He said I should live in those moments and just smile. Smile because it happened, not frown because it's over. But it's so much easier said than done. I mean it worked on a few occasions. I just need more practice I guess, and this Christmas without her isn't going to help much with that.

After a silent car ride we pulled up at the Spa and just seeing the sign took me out of the depressing world as a smile took over my face.

"C'mon. There's so much relaxing to do." I smiled as I hopped from her car with her doing the same.

"I'm really hungry, do they have food here?" Kat asked holding her stomach.

I nodded. "There's a small deli. We could eat lunch first!"

She smiled and nodded as we walked inside and walked straight to the deli. There wasn't much at all to choose from so I just settled with a turkey sandwich and Lays plain potato chips in which she got the same thing before we both sat in a corner in front of a window.

"So how often do you come here?" Kat asked as she stuffed her mouth with potato chips.

I shrugged. "It's been a long while. I've only been here about 4 or 5 times my whole life. But it was so amazing it felt like 100!"

She laughed. "All girls need there spa days. It's the only time to get away from our husbands."

I gave a small chuckle and nodded. "Uh…yeah." I said before taking a small bite from my sandwich.

"So you were married right, pretty ring." She smiled looking down at my wedding ring that I have yet to take off, or actually I don't think I ever will. "I'm sorry for your loss." She stated with a frown and I looked at her in shock.

_How would she know I had a loss!? I didn't tell her that?_

"Oh, um….thanks. Uh, did Isis tell you that or something?"

She shook her head. "Your rings are on your right hand."

I looked down at my hand as my memory kicked back in of when Robbie took my rings off and moved them to my right hand. I didn't ask him why he did it. I didn't care. At that time I was too distraught to worry about anything happening around me.

Is that what you do if your partner dies? Move your rings? So everyone knows that you lost everything you once loved?

I just looked away and sighed before she reached her hand across the small table and placed it on my upper arm. "You really miss him don't you?"

"Um.." I put some of my hair behind my ear before turning my gaze to her. "It ah…she, her. I miss her."

"Oh." She said as lifted both her brows. I don't know if she tried to do it where I didn't notice, but I noticed the way she slowly removed her hand from my arm and slid it back across the table into her own lap as if now touching me was like touching a disease.

"Well um, may I ask what happened to her?" She said with true concern on her face before I just sighed and looked away.

"….She um….she committed suicide." I looked back up at her as I felt tears fill my eyes. "Last December."

Her mouth opened as she stood from her chair and walked over to me before pulling me up into a tight loving hug. I'm surprised she did. I thought she was one of those people who hate gay people based on the way she rushed her hand away from me.

My arms stayed wrapped around her stomach as I used her shoulder to cover my eyes and keep them closed so no tears could escape. I can do it. I can do this without crying because I'm happy now. I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy. And happy people don't cry.

"I'm sorry." She whispered to me before pulling out of the hug and looking at me in my eyes.

She has Jade's eyes. Jade's green eyes. And I couldn't keep my eyes off of them. I didn't notice her eyes until I was this close. It's the way Jade looked at me when she was sorry. The genuine sorry in her eyes is what made me always forgive her.

"You have her eyes." I said after a moment of staring. It should have been awkward but it wasn't for me, maybe for her.

She gave a small smile before letting her hand fall down to mine and giving it a squeeze before walking back to her seat and sitting down.

Even though she has Jade's remorseful eyes, she looks nothing like her. She has black hair, that was in curly locks last time I saw her but now is all pulled back into a straight hair bun with a small flower right in front. Her smile revealed a perfect row of straight teeth while her skin tone was kin to Beck's, but slightly darker and very smooth. She stands barely an inch taller than me, and has a slim body almost like mine. She's a very pretty lady.

I looked down at her hands to try and find a ring but she wore none. "You're not married?" I asked.

She looked down at her fingers and spread them. "I was, but I divorced him. I found him sleeping with my younger sister."

"Oh my god!"

She just nodded. "It's fine now, that was years over years ago. I got over it."

"How old are you?"

"I'm 37." She smiled. But she looked so much younger. But…wait..

"But…didn't Wren just turn 20?"

She nodded a she chuckled. "Yes and no I didn't have kids in my teens. Wren and Gina are adopted."

"What! But they look just like you though!"

She nodded and laughed again. "They are my older sister's kids. Her and her husband passed away in a plane crash about 9 years ago and I took them in."

"Oh I'm so sorry!" I said with my hand on my heart. Her life is even worst then mine! No, I take that back. I don't have a bad life. I have my girls. My life is good.

She waved it off. "Everyone is fine. It's okay."

"So you have no kids of your own?"

She shook her head. "Wren and Gina are like my own. They call me mom and just…I feel like they are mine."

I shook my head in understanding. "So are you dating anyone?" I asked for no reason honest. I just wanted to make convo.

"Well I have been dating here and there, but I want to settle down. I'm getting old." She laughed before she continued. "I just haven't found the right person."

"Well what do you like in guys?" I asked as I leaned on the table.

"Well in guys I like funny, loyal of course, smart, good hair, nice body, has something going for himself, you know the usual."

I smiled as I nodded.

"In girls I like funny, loyal, cute, innocent, pretty hair, pretty smile, hot body, alive and happy." She smiled putting her elbows on the table.

…_.okay I didn't see that coming._

"Oh…that's cool." I smiled sitting back.

"Well what about you?"

"Me?"

"Yeah what do you like in guys and girls? Or do you even like guys?"

"Well I-"

**RING, RING, RING**

I reached into my dress pocket and pulled out my phone before looking down at the caller I.D. to see it is Italy calling. "Hang on it's my daughter."

She nodded as I picked up the phone.

Me: "Hello?"

Italy:"…..mom."

Me: "Yes?"

Italy: "I need you to get me something."

Me: "Okay, what is it?"

Italy: "…you are going to be mad at me."

Me: "What happened?"

Italy: "Promise you won't be mad?"

Me: "I'm not promising that."

Italy: (sighs)

Me: "What happened? Did you break something?"

Italy: "…No, I um….I need a ….uahhhh, I think that I…."

Me: "-What?"

Italy: "….I think I'm pregnant."

I froze.

Me: "Excuse me?"

I must have heard wrong.

Italy: "…..mmm."

Me: "You're on birth control Italy."

Italy: "…yeah about that…"

Me: "Italy."

Italy: (sighs) "I'm sorry mom."

I smacked the table in front of me as tears filled my eyes.

Me: "Italy!"

Italy: "I didn't mean it I swear I had forgotten to take the control and me and Kodak….yeah and….my period was supposed to be here 3 weeks ago."

I took the phone from my ear as I looked up to try and keep the tears from falling but they did anyways.

"Oh my god what's wrong?" I heard Kat ask me from across the table but I ignored her as I put the phone back to my ear.

"Italy I'm so disappointed in you." I said before hanging up my phone and it shoving back into my dress pocket.

"What happened?" Kat asked as she reached over and grabbed my hand in hers.

I just shook my head as I wiped my tears with my free hand. "My daughter….she just turned 17 years old and thinks she's pregnant, again!"

"Again?"

"Yes! She had a baby when she was 15 already! We put her on birth control and she's not taking it and she's still out having unprotected sex! She barely takes care of her daughter now! Not even after I had a whole full conversation with her about responsibilities of a caring for her child! Italy is so immature! Ughhh!" I covered my eyes as I started to cry harder. I knew I had to be attracting attention in the small deli but I didn't care. How could she go out and do something like this _again_! Did she not learn anything the first time!?

"I'm sorry Katharine, can you please take me to a corner store so I can get her a test and then home. I'm so sorry about the spa, I promise we can do this another day, I just can't right now. I promise we'll get back to it."

She turned my head to her as she looked at me with those eyes that made me want to cry all over again.

"It's fine. I have more off days coming up. We can go whenever. I'm sorry about this. C'mon." She said grabbing my hand and pulling me from the deli and to her car.

_God I hope this is a false alarm._

* * *

**[November's & Trina's Phone Convo]**

**RING, RING, RING**

November: "Hello?"

Operator: "Hello, this is an automatic voice message system. You are receiving a call from…_It's me…_to accept this call please press one, if you wish to reject and or block these calls you may hang up or press pound for more options."

*1*

November: "….Hello?"

Trina: "Hey."

November: "Hi."

Trina: "How are you?"

November: "I'm okay. How are you?"

Trina: "I've been better."

November: "…oh."

Trina: "November, I love you too."

November: "Mom-"

Trina: (crying) "-I love you more than anything in this world I do. Did I? No. I was…selfish, stupid. I was crazy delusional. Why did I do it? Because I didn't care. I didn't care about you. I didn't care about him. I just wanted….I wanted money. I can't believe I can sit here with myself right now. I'm so disgusted with myself. I want to die. But I can't even do that. There are no words, absolutely no words in this world November, that I can say to you for an apology. Sorry, sorry isn't big enough. Nothing is. I….I don't. I can't. I'm…I'm sorry. I understand if deep down you really hate me, I hate me to. I do. I'm just….ugh. I love you November. So much. And…now I don't get a second chance. I already lost. I just wanted to call to let you know that I do love you and there's not a day that goes by that I don't regret everything I've done to you, to my family. Nothing I can do will take it back. And I hope you are doing wonderful. I hope I haven't messed up your life. I hope you can still smile everyday. I hope that you can trust Tori and Beck to love you and to take care of you the way that I should have. Call Tori mom. I want you to call Tori mom, because she's more of a mother to you than I ever have been and what I ever will be. She's your mother November. And…I'm just so sorry babygirl. I'm sorry. And I love you…I love you."

November: (crying)

Trina: "Baby don't cry okay. You are happy. You are."

November: (sobbing) "I don't want to call Tori mom, you are my mom and I love you…and I forgive you for everything. I wish you were here. And I wish we could start all over. I miss you mom. I want you. I want you, I want my mom."

Trina: "I love you November and I want you to be happy. Don't think about me. Think about your future. You have a loving family. Let them love you and you love them back."

November: "I will never forget you. We all make mistakes. I love you and I will come see you every chance that I get. Even if it's just for 10 minutes, those 10 minutes mean the world to me."

Trina: "You will be so blessed November. Your heart is so big. So much bigger than mine will ever be. I have to go now. My phone time is almost up. I love you."

November: I love you too.

Trina: "Goodbye."

November: "No goodbye. I'll see you later okay?"

Trina: "…Okay, I'll see you later love."

* * *

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	21. Take Your Time

Chapter 21

_Take Your Time _

**[Italy's POV]**

I sat on the couch with my knuckles in my mouth as I heard the front door opening. I didn't even bother to turn around. I know I'm in so much trouble. I didn't mean for this to happen again. I swear on everything. I've been taking my birth control, I just….slipped a few times, but even if I did slip it should still work! I only missed a couple! Maybe my period is missing for some other reason? Stress maybe? But I'm not stressed, I'm happy. Oh my gosh what if it's menopause? No way, I'm too young for that.

"Upstairs, now." Cat stated firmly. I've never heard her voice so dark and demanding it scared me. If I hadn't of been positive it was Cat, I would have thought it was Jade speaking.

I slowly get up from the couch and make my way to the stairs where she's standing with her finger pointed up, a small bag in her hand, and a look on her face that seems as if she never smiled a day in her life. I've made her so angry. I've never seen her this…this mad. Sad, I've seen, mad….not so much. Well there was the first time she was mad, but not this mad.

She walked up behind me as I reached the top and I already knew where I was headed.

"Take this cup, pee in it, and get out." She said as she handed me a small cup from the bag. She took a step back as I sighed and walked into the bathroom and closed the door behind me. Of course she wouldn't let me do it on my own. Now she will see the results before I even can.

I do as I'm told before washing my hands and exiting the bathroom and leaving the small cup of pee on the sink.

I don't even look in her direction as I walk into the hallway. Instead I keep my head down as she walks passed me and into the bathroom slamming the door behind her.

I lean up against a wall and let my back slide down slowly before bringing my knees up to my chest and resting my chin on top.

I know I should be scared, or nervous, or something, but I'm not. This is the point where the girl starts to cry her eyes out and ask why this is happening to her. That's not me. If I'm pregnant again then…okay. I'm not sad about it, or scared. No I'm not ashamed, or guilty. There's no one on earth that I love more than Kemistry and to have another one will just fill my heart especially knowing Kodak is for sure the dad. I don't think he'll mind either…..I hope.

A loud slam coming from the bathroom brings me from my thoughts as I let my knees go and spread my legs out in front of me as I listen closer.

The sounds of the toilet flushing and the sink running are the only things that can be heard before she opens the door of the bathroom and closes it behind her.

I stood to my feet as I look at her furrowed brows and a swade from left to right as she looked at me with evil eyes and a straight face before she just shook her head and walked passed me.

"..Mo-"

"-You better let Kodak know he's going to be the father of two." She said over her shoulder in a tone that sounded like she was trying everything to hold in a scream before continuing her walk to her room.

"Mom I'm sor-"

"-I don't want to speak with you right now." She said with a slam of her door.

…_..Well shoot._

* * *

**[Cat's & Kat's Text]**

Kat: Hey Dimples, is everything okay with your daughter?

Cat: (frowning emoticon)

Kat: Oh no, that doesn't look good…

Cat: (sighing emoticon) She's pregnant.

Kat: I'm sorry. (frowning emoticon) Are you okay?

Cat: Yeah, I'm just….I can't believe it. I'm so, so disappointed in her. What on earth would make her think this is okay to do again!?

Kat: I understand. Wren came home pregnant when she was only 15. I couldn't believe it. I was so disgusted with her.

Cat: What!? I didn't know she had a baby?

Kat: Well she doesn't. I made her put him up for adoption. The dad didn't want to have anything to do with the child and Wren could barely even take care of herself. I couldn't care for the child unless I gave up my job which we would have ended up on the streets. So the best thing was adoption. The baby has a loving family, something Wren could not give. Maybe your daughter can consider that?

Cat: I don't know how the dad will react to that. He's very loving of her and his little girl already. He actually keeps her the majority of the time.

Kat: Well it's a different situation since the dad's involved.

Cat: I guess. I just…I…whatever.

Kat: Don't get too frustrated with her Cat. Just take a breath. Everything will be okay.

Cat: I know it will. Thanks for checking in. We can go on that spa date on your next off day okay? I only work mornings so we can go a little in the evening. Is that okay?

Kat: That's fine love. I'll get back to you on that. Best of luck to your daughter.

Cat: Thank you. See you soon.

* * *

**[Cat's POV]**

_**1 Month Later**_

"So what do you think of her?" Robbie asked as he took a bite of his ice-cream.

I smiled. "She's really nice Robbie. She even bought me flowers." I giggled at the thought of when I came home from work to see a banquet of flowers on my doorstep.

Robbie smiled. "Why don't you just say yes?"

I looked down. "Because…I just….I still don't know if I'm…"

"Ready?" Robbie finished and I nodded.

He pushed his ice-cream aside as he crossed his arms on the table. "I think you're ready Cat. It's been way over a year. I really think it's healthy enough for you to move on now and let someone love you."

I looked him in his eyes and saw the genuine hurt in them before he just put his head down and turned away from me.

I reached my hand across the table and placed it on top of his. "Robbie….I'm sorry. Please don't look at me that way. I love you, I do. But you're my best friend."

"I know, I know." He sighed. "I guess I've just…always had a thing for you deep down."

"Why don't you date anyone Robbie? You keep pushing every girl away. Don't say you don't because I watch you do it."

He sighed again. "I guess I keep thinking somewhere there's hope for us, but-"

"-There's not Robbie and I don't mean to hurt you when I say that. I just…"

"You don't like guys at all do you Cat?"

I just shrugged. That's a question I can barely even answer myself. I mean I had one boyfriend back in high school, and I liked him. I did. But it's been so, so long since then and I've been with a girl all these years I just feel….more attracted to them. It's not like I don't like guys, I just feel more comfortable if I am with a girl; with someone like me.

"It's okay if you're a lesbian, that will actually make me feel better knowing you just don't like guys then just thinking you don't like me."

"But I do like you Robbie. I just…I can't."

"I understand."

I smiled.

"Well, you should give this Katherine girl a chance. She sounds really nice Cat and you deserve it. You're not getting any younger. What do you have to lose?"

_**New Text Message**_

_**Sender: Kattttt**_

_**Kattttt: Hey Dimples, I got a surprise waiting for you on your porch once you get home. (winking emoticon) see you soon.**_

"That must be her now?" Robbie asked. I looked up at him still with a huge smile on my face. "You're blushing really hard Cat." He laughed.

I giggled as covered my cheeks.

"I had fun Robbie, but I have to go now. We will hang out again soon sometime okay?" I said as I stood up, gave him a kiss on the cheek and made my way to my car.

I couldn't keep the small excitement and the huge smile away as I pulled into my driveway.

Walking up to my porch I squealed at the huge custom made teddy bear holding a heart a heart that read. "Will You Be My Valentine Ms. Valentine?" I walked over and picked up the small card that set beside it reading. "Just say yes."

I held the card close to my heart as I smile and nodded to myself before I felt warm arms wrap around me from behind turning to see Kat with a huge smile on her face. "I'll take that nod as a yes?"

I giggled as I nodded again and wrapped my arms around her tight. "Thank you, for everything Katherine. You are so sweet."

She pulled me away from her as her smile faded a bit and she looked me in my eyes then down at my lips before meeting my eyes again.

I bit my bottom lip as I closed my eyes.

I know she's been waiting so, so long to kiss me. After every date, every goodbye, every hello, I just wouldn't let her. I dodged her kiss every time and no she didn't get mad. I was just scared to do it. That means…it's official you know? My heart races every time I'm so close to her, butterflies fill my stomach every time she looks at me the way she is now, my cheeks start to burn every time someone mentions her name, it's so….real and it's so scary because I can't control it.

Maybe Robbie is right? Maybe it's time. It's time Cat, time to move on, time to be happy.

I can be happy, I can.

I opened my eyes before looking into her eyes and silently giving her my permission which she indeed caught before leaning in. I should have met her half way but I hesitated and when her lips met mine I breathed through my nose way harder than I knew I should have been and my arms squeezed around her neck as my eyes squeezed shut and that's when she pulled away.

"Cat? What are you doing?"

I instantly let go of her neck as I took a step back and shook my head. "I'm sorry, I…I'm sorry."

"It's fine. If you're not ready I understand. Don't force yourself for me. It's just a kiss."

I shook my head as I took a seat beside the huge teddy bear before I started to play with his nose. "It's not just a kiss, it's more than that and you know it."

I heard her sigh softly before pulling a chair in front of me and placing her hand on my knee. "I like you Caterina. I really, really do. I want to go to the next level with you and I see you aren't ready for that, and that's okay. The worse thing between us isn't me having to wait, it's for you to force yourself to do something you're not ready to do. I don't want you doing that because I'm ready. We have all the time in the world. Take your time okay baby? I'm not rushing you into anything."

I felt tears fill my eyes as I shook my head. "But…I am, I am ready. I know I'm ready. I just…."

"It's just you are diving into deep water when you've forgotten how to swim. You have to start at one foot and slowly make your way into deep water Cat."

"But even starting in one foot the water is still going to be cold Kat and I'm still not going to get used to it for a while." I looked down. "I like you Kat. I want to do this with you. Just...bare with me. It's been a while okay. I kind of panicked."

She just nodded. "I understand." She said as she stood up and moved the bear before taking a seat beside me. I turned to look her in her eyes. "I want to."

"Relax." She said before using her finger to guide my chin up to her lips.

She moved forward and still I let her meet me. Her lips where soft and inviting. Not rough, not demanding, just…smooth, sweet.

I kissed her back with the same amount of sweetness as she was giving me. My lips responding to hers slowly. I felt her tongue swipe across my lips a few times but…I didn't. I couldn't. I pulled away.

I felt tears fill my eyes but before they could even fall she wiped them away. "Baby it's okay, it's okay. Don't cry. Take your time." She said as she pulled me into a hug letting my head fall to her shoulder.

I felt her hand reach behind me and play with my hair before giving me a kiss on the top of my head. "I'm not going anywhere. Take your time."

I let a tear slide down my face before I grabbed her free hand and kissed it. "Thank you." I said before closing my eyes.

_I want Katherine. I do._

* * *

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	22. Genuine Love

Chapter 22

_Genuine Love_

**[Italy's & Kodak's Text]**

_**3 Months Later**_

Kodak: Hey babe.

Italy: Hi.

Kodak: Wassup? How you doin'?

Italy: I'm okay. My feet are so swollen and Kemistry won't sit down and be quiet. Plus I have a headache and I'm so sleepyyyy

Kodak: Lol, you sound miserable, not okay. I'll be there as soon as I leave work. Where's your mama?

Italy: She's working and Isis took Ikenzie to her doctor's follow up today. So I'm alone. (frowning emoticon)

Kodak: I'm sorry babe. I just have a couple more hours and I'm there. How's my little man?

Italy: What makes you so sure it's a boy?

Kodak: Because I know these things.

Italy: Lol whatever!

Kodak: Have you thought of a name?

Italy: If it's a girl Kimani (Key-mon-ee) a boy Kivan

Kodak: The hell kind of names….?

Italy: Lol! You named Kemistry Kemistry! They all should have K names

Kodak: Yeah but Kemistry's birth name is Jadelyn.

Italy: …Oh that's right.

Kodak: Lol, I'm fine with whatever.

Italy: Ok, well get here soon babe. I love you.

Kodak: I love you too. See you soon.

* * *

**[Ikenzie's POV]**

"Stop!" I laughed loud before smacking Kaylee back with my pillow. We hit each other over and over again like we were 5 year olds having a pillow fight for the first time. We didn't stop until we heard my room door bust open and loud yelling.

"Heyyyy! Chill out with all that!" Isis yelled as she stood in my door way with her pj's on, a book in one hand and her reading glasses slightly off of her face.

"Sorry." I said as I flopped down on my bed with Kaylee doing the same.

"Hey you guys what should I wear tonight? This dress or this one?" My mom said as she pushed passed Isis and into my room.

She held up two pretty dresses in her hand. One red and white and the other all black.

"That one." Kaylee and I both stated in unison as we pointed to the black dress.

"And where are you going?" Isis said as she removed her glasses and crossed her arms at our mother.

Mom sighed as she smiled. "I'm going on a date."

"With Kat!?" I asked slipping off my bed and onto my feet as she smiled and nodded.

I really like Kat. She's a very nice woman that moms been seeing lately and she makes her so happy. I'm just glad there's someone out there to make her smile like Jade used to at times.

"You guys be good tonight. That means stay up late and watch movies and eat snacks until your stomach hurts!" Mom squealed and clapped before she turned to walk out of my room but Isis stopped her.

"And what time will you be home? Where are you guys going? Is she driving or picking you up? Is she-"

Mom stopped Isis by putting her finger to Isis's lips in a hush tone. "I'll be home before curfew, _mom_." She stated sarcastically before giving Isis a small kiss on her cheek and walking out.

I watched as Isis rolled her eyes and smiled before telling us to make sure and keep it down as she exited my room.

"Have you ever kissed a girl before?" Kaylee asked me as she stuffed her face with gummy warms while we watched Mean Girls.

I scrunched my eyes as I shook my head. I've only kissed one guy before and I have to admit he's a good kisser.

"Do you ever wonder what it's like?"

I shook my head as I grabbed some gummies myself. "Not really. I haven't thought about it."

"Want to see?" She lifted a brow.

"See what?"

"See what it's like to kiss a girl." She turned to me with a smile.

"….Uh….no not really…"

"C'mon let's try it. I really want to know."

"Ooooh no! If I ever did try it wouldn't be with you! That would be so….awkward! You're my best friend. Are you gay or something?"

"No, I just want to see and that's what best friends do, use each other as guinea pigs. Let's just do it. I've been wanting to know." She smiled as she put some hair behind her ear. "It can be my birthday present for becoming a real teen. I should have a lucky 13 kiss."

"You're birthday isn't until like 2 months from now."

"Early gift….c'mon you know you want to."

I sighed as I turned away.

Okay so…..I might want to see what it's like to kiss a girl. I mean….I just…I'm not gay. I'm definitely not gay not that there's nothing wrong with that. I just know this for a fact, but….I don't know. I mean, I guess….no harm in it right?

I sighed again as I turned back to her. "Okay….but it has to be quick."

She squealed just like my mother would when she's excited about something as she scooted closer to me and looked me in my eyes.

"Okay, lets go." She said.

"Okay."

"Alright."

She rolled her eyes and sighed before leaning over and placing her lips on mine which I gave a peck and backed away.

"Ikenzie? What was that?"

"I….I really don't know." And that's the truth. I'm not even nervous or anything. I don't know why I backed away. Maybe it's just because this whole situation is so awkward!

"Don't back away." She said leaning back in and placing her lips back on mine. This time I didn't, I kissed her back slowly as my eyes shut automatically and then she was gone.

"That was cool right?" Kaylee smiled as I looked at her sideways.

"You….what was _that_?"

"What was what? A kiss?" She lifted a brow.

"That wasn't….okay." I nodded as I turned my attention to the TV. Maybe she doesn't know what a real kiss is like and I'm definitely not going to be the one to tell her.

It would have been too awkward anyways.

_I hope she never asks that again._

* * *

**[Cat's POV]**

"I had so much fun tonight." I smiled as Kat walked with me hand in hand to my porch.

Tonight she just took me to dinner. It was a small restaurant with live music and amazing food! Everyone was dressed up nice with smiles on their faces with their loved ones. She even bought it all! I tried to pay my half but she just wouldn't let me. She's so, so sweet and I really lov….I really like her. I really, really like her.

"Me too." She smiled as we stepped in front of my door. "Well, here you are. I'm glad you had a great time. I'll call you tomorrow 'kay?"

I just nodded before she leaned down and gave me a kiss on my cheek as she squeezed my hand. "Goodnight." She said before letting go and turning to leave.

I stood on my porch as I watched her walk all the way back to her car, get in, and start it up before I yelled her name and ran over to her car.

"Cat what's wrong?" She asked me as I yanked her car door open. I reached over her body undid her seatbelt and pulled her out.

"Cat wha-mmph." Her words where muffled as my lips smashed into hers. My arms went around her neck as I felt her respond to the kiss. Her hands slipped down my back and rested just above my bottom as she slid her tongue across my lip. I didn't hesitate this time. I didn't because I,..I want her, I want it, I want it all. I can't keep holding onto the past. My heart tells me no at the same time it's telling me yes. I need love. I need to love again. My body, my heart, my soul. Everything needs this, needs her. I can't stand it anymore. I'm not fighting the fact that I've falling so hard for this woman. She's so wonderful to me and I'm so glad she came into my life. I want her. I want to give me to her because I know she wants me too.

I finally pulled from her kiss as I looked her in her green eyes.

"..Cat-"

"I'm ready." I said keeping my gaze on her.

"….babe no. I don't want to-"

"-You're not rushing me into anything. I'm ready Katherine. I am. I know I am. Please."

She looked away from me as she looked around before looking back into my eyes. "Are you sure?"

I just nodded as tears came into my eyes. I'm so sure. "I am."

She leaned down and gave me a peck on my lips before closing her door, turning back around to me and lifting me onto her.

I let my legs wrap around her waist as my arms tightened around her neck and I know I should be kissing her at this moment, but didn't. I slowly rested my chin on my arm that was around her shoulder as she carried me like a small child to my door. She grabbed my key from the hiding spot above the door before walking in with me and kicking close behind.

I sat up to look her in her eyes with my arms and body still hanging on as she looked me in my eyes asking for silent permission and conformation again as I just nodded.

She gave me a kiss on my forehead as she carried me upstairs to my room and made love to me for the first time and it was one of the hardest things I've done. No, it wasn't easy. Yes, I broke down right in the middle. Yes she tried to stop. No, I didn't let her.

I like Kat and I'm not going to keep keeping her at arms distance. I want her to be…to be my girlfriend. To love me and I want to love her back and I told her this. The words burned my heart, the fact that I was saying these things to another woman and not…not my Jadey.

_My Jadey…._

I cried in her arms when it was over. She held onto me and cried softly along side me. It was just….so hard but I had to do it. I have to move on. I can't…I can't keep hanging onto her. She's gone and she's not coming back so hanging on is useless. And I had to learn that. I had to learn that it's okay for me to love again. It's not a crime, I shouldn't feel guilty and I don't.

"I...I love you Katherine."

I felt her tense up beside me as she removed her comforting arm from me and covered her face as she begin to sob.

"Don't cry, please, I didn't mean to hurt you." I said as I tried to move her hands.

She moved her hands on her own before capturing my lips in a heated kiss. "I love you too Cat." She said after pulling back. "That has to be so hard for you." She cried as she rubbed my face gently with the back of her hand. "You are such a strong beautiful woman Cat, and ever let anyone tell you otherwise."

I grabbed her hand and kissed it. "It is hard and thank you. But….I love you and I can't hide it anymore. I can't tell myself not to. I do. And I want you to stay. Please stay."

She started to cry again as she smiled. "I'm not going anywhere Caterina Valentine. I love you and I'll take care of you."

I cried as I threw my arms around her.

My heart hasn't felt this way in so, so long but I recognize the feeling and the feelings is…

_Genuine love._

* * *

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	23. I'll Always Love You

Chapter 23

_I'll Always Love You_

**[Isis's POV]**

_**5 Years Later**_

I took a deep breath and let it out as I sat in my car waiting for Monica to arrive at the park. Today was a perfect day, the perfect day. It's going to happen today.

I tap my stirring wheel as I go over my words for the thousandth time today. _God I hope I don't make a fool of myself._

After about 10 more minutes of waiting her car pulled up right beside mine. Her face held a huge smile as bright as the sun as she stepped from her vehicle and I doing the same.

"Hey babe!" She said as she skipped over to me and wrapped her arms around my neck placing her lips on mine softly. "I got all the food for the picnic. Did you bring the blanket?" She asked turning around to her trunk to get the food.

I just nodded nervously as I walked to my own trunk and pulled out the family size blanket for our picnic that I had planned out for today.

"I know a very pretty and shady place by the lake. C'mon we'll eat there." She said with the basket in her hand and her free hand grabbing mine own.

I squeezed her hand tight as another bolt of nervousness shot through me. "Why are you so tense?" She laughed. "Got something stuck in your ass?" She winked at the small insider we've had for a while.

Let me tell you Monica…she's a pure freak in the sheets man. She can…you know what, we're not going to talk about that…..

The closer and closer we got to the spot the more I started to freak out. My hands were sweating as my heart raced. I swear I might die from a heart attack if I wasn't so healthy.

"Baby….you okay?" She eyed me as she set out the blanket and took a seat patting the empty spot beside her.

I opened my mouth but just nodded afraid to speak because I didn't want to sound as afraid/nervous as I was right now and I knew my voice would just give in.

As soon as I sat down she leaned over and placed her face in the crease of my neck giving it a small kiss. "I love you." She said as her hot breath blew my neck causing shivers to run down my spine.

I swallowed as I nodded.

"Isis, what's wrong with you? You're acting like you've seen a ghost? What'd you do, stare at yourself in the mirror too hard?" She chuckled to herself as she removed herself from me and started to get food from the basket.

"Ha, ha very funny." I rolled my eyes before taking a nervous breath.

…_Aright, you got this Isis, just chill out._

"Really what's up with you?" She looked at me with concerned eyes before taking a bite from an apple.

I took one more deep breath as I closed my eyes and shook my head before opening them and gently reaching over to take the apple from her and setting it aside.

"Why'd you take my apple?" She side smiled before I leaned over and gave her a kiss on her cheek.

I turned my whole body around to face her before letting my hands slip into both of her as I bit my bottom lip. My hands squeezed her hands as I took yet another breath. _Okay…I got this…_

"What are you doing?" She asked with scrunched brows.

Looking into her eyes I smiled in which her face cleared and she smiled back. Monica is so beautiful, so, so beautiful, you don't even know and today, I want that beauty to belong to me.

"Monica…"

"What's up babe?" She lifted a brow with her smile still on her face.

"Um….I tried, and I tried to make a speech, and to say everything to get you on my side, but…you know, I've never done this before and I'm not sure how it goes. I didn't write a speech, I didn't make a sweet poem, I didn't write some crappy love song, I didn't do any of that. I thought that I should, but…no. So I'm just going to say that I love you Monica Oliver. I loved you since the first time I've met you and I know that's so cliché, but it's true, it's real. You make me feel ways that I've never felt before. You make me smile just at the sound of your name. I feel weak when I'm around you. I can't breathe when you're so close. No one had ever, ever made me feel the way you do. I've never been so in love in my entire life. I want you to always be by my side, I want you to be the mother of my children, I want to grow old and die with you and I don't give a fuck what other people think. You mean everything and I mean everything to me. I can't even imagine life without you. These past 6 years we've been together has been heaven to me and I want more Monica. I want to go to the next level with you and I'm hoping you want to do the same with me."

I paused as I let go of one of her hands before reaching into my jacket pocket and pulling out a small black case.

She gasped as tears filled her eyes and her free hand when to her mouth. "…Isis."

I took a huge breath. "…Will…will you marry me?" I said opening the black case to reveal a wedding band.

She snatched her other hand away from mine as she covered her eyes and started to sob.

_Oh god does this mean no!?_

I watched as she just cried and nodded before attempting to speak. "…y..Yes! Yes! Of course! …oh my god!" She squealed as I grabbed her hand and slipped the band onto it.

She looked at it as tears fell from her eyes before she threw her arms around my neck and hugged me tight.

"I love you Monica." I said as she cried into me.

"I…I love you too, so much baby! Oh my god!" She pulled away from me with a huge smile on her face before smashing her lips to mine.

I kissed her softly before pulling her face away from mine and holding it in my hands. "I love you Mrs. West-Valentine." I said with a smile and she just tilted her head with furrowed brows and smiled back.

"I can't believe this is happening." She whispered.

"Well believe it." I said smashing my lips to hers again.

_This is the one of the best days of my life, and there's so much to come. _

* * *

**[Cat's POV]**

"Do you want me to come with?" Kat asked me as she held my hand over in her lap.

I sighed as I looked around the cemetery from her car windows as I held a dozen roses in my other. "No." I shook my head. "I'll be fine. Just wait here." I said before giving her hand a squeeze and exiting her car.

I slowly walked over to the big all marble tombstone that was decorated with old dead beat flowers. They were sun flowers and she hated sun flowers so whoever put those there obviously didn't know her like I did. No one knew her like I did.

I got to my knees in front of the stone before running my hand over her imprinted name in script letters.

"I brought you roses. I know you said you hate flowers, but I always knew you loved when I bought you roses. You used to smile so big and blush so hard. So here are roses for you." I said as I removed the old sunflowers and pushed the roses into the ground.

I let my finger start to trace the letters of her name as I sighed. "I can't believe it's been 6 years. I miss you Jadey."

Today is Jade's 6th year angelversary. Everyone has moved on in some way or another, or that's what it seems. It's almost like Jade never existed anymore. My kids act like it doesn't matter, but it does. I remember her, and I still miss her. I've moved on too, yes, but…she's still always in my heart and she'll never leave me. Ever.

"What's it like in Heaven? Are you having fun? Do you think of me? Do you miss me?" I put my head down. "I hope you're not angry with me because….because I love someone else. I hope you still love me because I still love you. You're always first Jadey no matter what.

"Kat's nice. She's really nice. She always holds me, and hugs me, and kisses me. You don't have to worry about her doing anything to hurt me. She wouldn't do that. I hope you like her, I do…but never more than how I liked you. I'll always like you more. I promise.

"Guess what? Isis is getting married next month. To who? You know, Monica. She's so nice too. I know you hate Tori, but Monica isn't really like Tori. She's so good and sweet to Isis and they are so in love. They are going to have a great family someday I know it. Isis even got her own place, her and Monica. I really miss having her around and I even cried when she left. She's the closes thing I have to you, but it's okay. She comes by almost everyday to check on me. She buys me everything I need and tries to take care of me like I'm the daughter and she's the mother. It's kind of funny but so sweet. I know you are so proud of her.

"Italy and Kodak I know will get married soon. I overheard Kodak talking to Andre about it. Kemistry and Chase are getting so big now! Can you believe Kemistry will be 6 years old next week!? And Chase, he'll be turning 4. They look so much alike, people think they are twins, well besides the age difference they could be. Italy's stepped up so much into her mother role after having her son. She's such a great mother Jade, I know you see it. Her and Kodak are also in the process of getting their own place. And I'm so happy for them, for her especially. Italy's so happy Jade, so happy."

I sighed. "I know you see Ikenzie. I just….I don't know what's gotten into her Jade and I can't…I've tried, I can't stop her. She doesn't listen to me anymore, she doesn't listen to Kat or her sisters. She's having sex, doing drugs, dressing crazy, talking crazy; it's just getting worse and worse as the years pass. Just the other day I…I caught her having sex, in my room, on our bed, with some…some random guy. It was just…..I can't. Please Jade help her. I can't do it alone. Please do something. She's starting to pull her friends in with her and I and Tori are trying so hard to make sure that doesn't happen to Kaylee, because Kaylee and her are still best friends, but….Kaylee, she's so sweet and clean….She just needs you Jade. Do something. Fast."

I stood to my feet as I kissed my hand and blew a kiss to her grave. "I love you Jade. Have fun in Heaven okay? Please think of me when you can because I'm always thinking of you."

I felt an arm go around my shoulder before I turned to see Kat with sympathetic eyes. I just gave her a faint smile before she kissed me on my cheek and reached down to grab my hand. "I know she's thinking of you Cat. She loves you." Kat said as she wrapped her free arm around me and laid her head on my shoulder. "Are you ready?"

I just nodded as she removed her head and started to pull me away from everything I once was.

"I love you." I whispered as I looked back at the grave letting a tear slip down my face.

_I'll always love you._

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	24. New Beginnings (Epilogue)

Chapter 24

_New Beginnings_

**[Isis's POV]**

"I guess I can start with the people that are less important right? So, Heaven Shapiro, what's she up to nowadays? Nothing. Well she has this boyfriend, as of many others. She keeps saying how she'll settle down soon, but I have yet to see that happen and I also doubt it ever will. We actually talk more than we used to and have become okay friends. Don't go all crazy now and think we are the bestest, because that's a no. Moving on.

"Heaven's dad Robbie, he's cool. He has his little girlfriend of his also. She looks way too young for him if you ask me and really deep down I think Robbie is just a pervert, but whatever with him. Whatever floats his boat right? Heaven says her dad is happy as well as her little sister. So their family is all cool.

"I never really liked Makari, so there's nothing to say about her.

"Kodak on the other hand is such a great guy. He just married Italy not too long ago. They both have two adorable little children and one on the way. I've never seen anybody pop children like Italy does. I mean, I don't even have a kid yet and she has three. I should just steal on of hers right? Well anyways, since we are on the Italy subject I might as well say she's doing so great as well. She's very happy with her family even though she can be…_ugh_ sometimes, I still love her. She's very blessed.

"I'm not too sure of what Andre and his wife are up to these days. Just being them. I've only seen them a few times and they seem very happy. I love the relationship between Andre and his wife. They seem like the perfect couples you only see in those cheesy movies. Happy them right?

"November, she's so grown up now. Well not that she was immature or anything, but she's matured into a beautiful woman. She has a boyfriend I'm hoping with ask for her hand in marriage here soon. They've been dating for almost 2 years. November keeps in contact with her mother and from what I hear talks to her almost every day. I wonder how hard that has to be. To have someone you really do love locked way for life and there's nothing you can do about it. I know what Trina did was very horrible, but November forgives her and that's just beautiful. I know Trina has learned her lesson, but sometimes it's a lesson for life and you have to deal with those consequences forever.

"Kaylee's a cutie ball. She's so innocent I swear to god. She's still single at the time because from what I heard she's too afraid to date, something I just don't understand. She told me she doesn't want to get married and that she just wants to live life the way she wants it by herself with a dog. She really has this dream to travel the world and she's been saving for it for years now. I'm pretty sure she's almost at her goal. I hope she has fun with that because that's something I never will have the balls to do. I barely want to leave L.A.

"Tori and Beck are….Tori and Beck. They seem to get along well, well better than they used to from what I hear from my wife. No they aren't as cute as Andre and his wife, but they can have the ticket. Tori and Cat are really close these days. They hang out a lot and do stuff that old people do. Yes I called them old.

"Ikenzie….well, she's another story. To be real I haven't even heard from her for a few months. She's lost all sanity. Cat's tried everything for her and I mean everything. Nothing helped her and she says nothing is wrong with her. She says it's just who she is now. She's this…drugged out hippie type. We've lost her years ago. I mean she's not out breaking super laws like robbing banks and stuff, but she's not doing well in my eyes. She seems happy though. When I do see her she has a huge smile on her face and a pep in her step. So…as long as she's happy then…whatever you know?

"Cat, my beautiful mother. She's doing so, so well. Every since she's married Katherine I can tell she's been so much happier. I can see that an empty spot in her heart was filled and by the twinkle in her eyes that it's not a fake smile to get by. It's real….but, I have bad news. Almost a year ago she went to her doctor after feeling sick. They told her she was fine, it was just a cold. She went back after a few weeks after feeling what felt like a rock she explained to me in her right breast. They tested her and comes to find out she has breast cancer and by that time it was too late to really do anything about it. The doctors said it's already spread. They gave her 6 months to a year but you know what? It's been almost a full year and she's still with us, and she's still smiling, and she's still happy…..I don't know when…or how much longer she has. She's been getting sicker lately and I….she's happy. She's happy and if she goes, she'll go happy and that's all….that's all I want for her. It's going to be hard but we all will be able to pull through. I know it…..I know it.

"Me? I'm doing fine. I have a beautiful wife and we are talking now about adopting a beautiful daughter. Our new house is so beautiful gosh I wish you could see it. We are so ready to start a family. Monica is one of the best things that's ever happened to me and I just don't know what I'd do without her. I love her more than I love myself. I just can't.

"Well that's all I have for now. I'm sorry I haven't been around for almost a year. It's just….I don't know, I don't really have an excuse. Watch over us from heaven okay? I'll come around again soon I promise. Maybe next time I'll have your granddaughter with me. I love you Jade. See you."

I stood as I wiped the bottom of my butt before just crossing my arms and smiling at my mother's grave. "Thank you for watching over me." I blew a kiss before I turned and walked away.

Some might say that this can't be the end, that everything isn't perfect, that everybody isn't happy and where they should be. There's no certain place were anyone should be. Everything doesn't have fairytale ending even if you think it does. I don't know about you, but for me this isn't an ending, not for me, not for my wife or my soon to be family, but it's the starting of something.

_The starting of a new beginning._

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